Not the First, Not the Last

He is clutching on to her hand for dear life in the grocery store. Their palms are sweating against one another with a fervor that speaks of summer even though it’s been no hotter than sixty degrees all year. If she should let his hand slip from hers he could die. She is his life line. Just eight days earlier she discovered him on a park bench, crying his eyes out and insisting all the while that he was fine. She sat down next to him, this stranger, and after listening for a few minutes knew that he needed her. The open heart in him beat so boldly and loud for her that it was like taking a hit from a new drug. His chest a pool, his eyes little puddles. She had never met anyone as true and anyone as sad. She wanted to wrap him in her arms and shield him from the world.

He was a good, unlucky man, A bad streak of luck, lasting forty four years. Just when he was starting to figure it out, another predator found him. She took everything from him; his time, his sanity, and a piece of his already wounded heart.

He was very fair in his assessment of this woman, the crazy ex girlfriend.

“You know, I’m far from perfect.” he said over and over.

Brandy hates this woman, she wants to yell at her for him. She wants to slap her. She wants her to suffer, and from what he's told her, it sounds like the woman will. Brandy is hoping for the day they run into this woman, and she can witness the disgusting human in the flesh.

“I can’t take any more.” he said over and over while caressing the back of her hand on the bench. He had leaned down and kissed it with such desperation that some little chord inside her that had never been played before was struck.

They sat on the bench and before she knew it, they had both abandoned their evening plans for that night. They sat for hours in the beer garden, then they made love against the back of the front door of her house. They didn’t make it to her bedroom for hours. He wore her housecoat and he didn’t ask permission for anything he did. She let him do it all, she’d worry about the consequences later.

When she woke up in the morning with him sweating next to her, the strangest thing had happened. All over her arms and legs were bright shining patches. Her skin was raw and itchy. It hadn’t stopped itching. Brandy didn’t have allergies that she knew of. Luckily the weather has been cool lately, she can hide the patches under her sweaters. He tells her each day how beautiful she is. How much better looking she is than all the other women he has known.

Every day since was spent in a similar matter. He didn’t have a good place to live. The crazy woman, his ex girlfriend, had kicked him out. And his crazy ex wife had filed so many child protection orders against him, it made living anywhere with other adults hard. He would never get to see his sons if he didn’t make sure the place was up to his crazy ex wife’s standards.

Brandy wanted to meet them, his sons. They were the only good thing in his world, and he can only see them once a month.

“I want you to cook for me.” she says picking up a box of pasta from the shelf.

“Of course I will. There’s not a lot I can eat right now though, you know.”

Four of his teeth are falling out. They have been for some time. Thanks to the chaos of his crazy ex girlfriend, he just hasn’t had the chance to go in. He will soon, he just needs to make the appointment. After the overdue child support is paid back it will be easier.

On the other end of the aisle one of the most beautiful women Brandy has ever seen, is staring them down. It’s nothing like the other stares they have been getting. Most people have been admiring them. The beautiful woman also has no curiosity in her large brown eyes. The look on her face is a rage that Brandy can tell by looking at the woman The woman is young, can’t be older than twenty five. She is out of place in the grocery store and in the town.

“Fast work.” she calls out to him in a voice high and shaking. It’s something someone blurts out when they are caught off guard and don’t know what to say. The woman is shaking, she drops the box she is holding in her hands.

A young man, also beautiful rounds the corner and leads her away, never making eye contact.

“Holy shit.” Brandy says, “Who was that? Not her, was it?”

“No. Just her stupid best friend.” he says, his face ghostly pale. He takes his baseball cap off and wipes his face with it. It is the first time Brandy has seen him reveal his head in public. She can’t help but notice how shiny it is on top under the harsh lights of the grocery store.

“I thought you said she doesn’t have any friends.” Brandy said.

“She has them.” he said, not looking Brandy in the eye. “They are all like that. Mean and immature. Like her.”

Brandy shook her head as she watched the young modelesque girl and her beautiful boyfriend cross the parking lot. The young woman didn’t look at Brandy, and the young woman looked kind. It was such a nervous reaction, surely this was not something the girl did all the time.

“I’m going to make you some pasta. Fatten you up.” he joked, picking the box back up. His hand had gotten even sweatier.

Brandy is thirty eight years old and she is a real American. She thinks her last chances to have a baby could be passing her by.. Though they have known each other for a mere week, he has already talked about wanting to add to his family. He has told Brandy that she will make a great parent. He is a great parent already, the best one he knows.

“My biggest goal in life is to be an amazing grandfather.” he says. This is very charming to Brandy.

On the fourth day she went with him to his company party. He had told her that first day on the bench that he was afraid he would be fired soon. His co workers seemed nice, but it became clear to Brandy that they don’t treat him with true friendship or respect. Brandy can understand why it is he hates his job so much.

“I’m the reason he’s been late a few times this week.” Brandy joked with a few of the younger boys.

“He’s late every day.” one of them responded in a flat tone.

In the driver’s seat he cracks open one of the beers that he bought in the store and starts to sip it before putting it in the console. It is leftover trauma, from the crazy ex girlfriend. She is a full blown alcoholic and it influences his relationship to substances still to this day.

He offers her one of the beers which she declines. His breath smells like the beer mixed with some kind of beef jerky he was probably snacking on earlier.

“I love you. We are in love.” he whispers in her ear. She believes him.

“We are in love.” she says back.

As he opens her car door for her and takes her keys to drive them back to her house, she feels something on the back of her neck. It’s developed its own raw itchy patch now, and she can’t help but start to scratch it. When she looks at her hand, there is a bit of blood under her nails.

“Oh sweetheart, he says.” he puts his hand on top of her bloody one, “Don’t worry, I’m going to take care of you.”