Silver Lining

“Read Matthew 10. Verses 34 and 35. Just read them,” I charged my sister.

I sounded sterner that I intended to but it was too late to reverse it. She walked toward my side table and picked up the brown-cased NIV bible to find Matthew, chapter 10. I waited for her but kept my eyes on my legs. Lately, I hadn’t been myself and she picked it off our text messages and rushed right over to check on me. I longed for the day when I’d successfully hide my heartache. But this one was heavier than any other pain I’ve been through. Much heavier and completely uncharted territory. I didn’t even know where I’d begin to explain how it all felt to her if she’d ask but I guess that was another burden I’d be casting unto Jesus. What an able Savior He is.

“Sam. It says 'Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law'. Is this what you think is going on with you and mom?”

She stared at me, waiting for a confirmation that I still wasn’t ready to give her. I knew it as truth from the moment I read the verses but I still couldn’t believe it. I remember my heart beating, almost out of my chest, then my vision blurred and I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t believe it was happening to me. I mean, we hear about miracles often at church, but the unfolding of unpleasant portions of scripture is something unorthodox. Even for the devout believer. It just hits you like a bag of raw potato chips, right across the face.

She was still staring at me and didn’t move an inch until I looked up with tears in my eyes and a lump in my throat.

“Do you know what I should do?” I asked already knowing she didn’t

 .

How could she know how to advise her sister about a truth like that? There was no denying it, and certainly no manipulative tactic available to stop it from unfolding. I wasn’t even going to blame her if she’d immediately said ‘I hope it doesn’t happen to me as well’. But she didn’t say those words. Not once to this day. She was the best sister I could’ve ever asked for, if I’d ever been given the chance to ask. She was God’s gift to us. I remember this memory because it changed our sisterhood for good. We became unconquerable to the enemy following the decisions we took that day, and I owe her a million thank yous for it. She’s gone now, and I miss her all the time.

Before she died I promised her I’d find a way to share this powerful testimony with everyone, to help anyone who may face the same thing. Mom and I are better than ever now, sharing a high regard for our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ but before now, it wasn't feasible.



Veronica was on her feet, pacing and actually thinking about how to answer me.

“Sam, we need to make sure that we do everything we can to protect each of us from the bondage of hatred. We trust Jesus with everything, even this. If this must happen, then surely there’s glory on the other side of it. And we will give it all to God, okay?”

I was puzzled and impressed all at once. She walked toward me to place her hands on my arms and shook me for an answer.

“Ver, I don’t think I can do this. I mean, I live here with mom. You don’t see what I see, especially on the really bad days. For either of us. I’m not saying I’m a saint. I’m frustrated and tired of being her punching bag but my dishonor and lack of consideration for her feelings is also terrible on my part. I just don’t know who to be around her anymore. I don’t know how we’re going to fix this,” I spoke hesitantly.

She smiled that elderly smile that older sisters give their little sisters after successfully fooling their parents to get what they want, and then she said;

“We’re not going to fix anything. We’re going to pray the devil doesn’t get anything out of this as we endure the will of God. I’m sorry that it’s happening this way with you. I can’t imagine what it feels like. We’ve all been so close for so long and now…” Veronica was looking right into my eyes.

In that moment I was so glad that we were on my bed because I felt my legs trembling. I probably would’ve fallen to the ground.

“Okay,” I whispered. I was unsure about all of it at the time, but it’s amazing how much strength one draws from hope.

She took my hands in hers and every single day from that one, we prayed for God’s wisdom for me and that Christ reveal Himself to our mother so she’d finally see why I’d changed the way I had over the past two years.

I was a completely different person since I’d finally taken my sister’s advice and accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I found a home and community in the church that I’d mocked ignorantly for all my teenage years, and began my walk in the faith with all the help a fresh-out-the-box disciple could need. And so, it began.

Mom wasn’t a fan of the church I was attending and couldn’t understand why I’d suddenly become so devout and interested in being at church frequently during the week. It’d caused an obvious rift between us and I wasn’t sure reconciliation was possible, especially since reading those verses. The whole situation was emotionally draining but the way God showed up was nothing I could’ve even dreamed of imagining. Apostle Paul wasn’t kidding when he said to Him who is able to do exceedingly, abundantly, above all that we ask or think.

Veronica and I prayed over the situation between mom and I for months and there wasn’t any noticeable change between mom and I during that period. It was mostly awkward silence in the living room together and moments of confrontation where she highlighted all I did that upset her and how strange she found my faithfulness to God. I wouldn’t really say much when these would occur, out of fear that I’d upset her further or worse…hear her condemn my future and declare havoc between myself and my children. It was a tough period for me to navigate, especially because it made me lean on God more while perpetuating the drift between mother and daughter. Scripture was coming alive in full 3D.

And then one day, on a Sunday, when I’d invited Veronica to my church to introduce her to my Pastor officially, after the service of course, there it was. The master plan that God had been working on the entire time. When the praise and worship team were taking their seats and the coordinators of the service stood before us to give us the weekly schedule for the church, they told us there’d be a twist to the agenda. I recall looking at Veronica and then scanning the congregation for indication of a couple about to be engaged. Nothing.

The coordinators soon let the cat out the bag and mentioned that someone with a powerful testimony on encountering the Christ was ready to share it with us.

Veronica and I looked up with excitement because we knew we’d be empowered for our prayer session later that day and then we saw her.

Mom walked up to the pulpit and took the mic to share her testimony. Ver and I were on our feet from the moment we spotted her to the last word she spoke into the mic, weeping the entire time. God had done it again…exceedingly, abundantly and above all that we’d prayed for. This is to encourage anyone going through a hard time with family concerning the faith. Trust God more than ever in this period. He won’t fail you nor will He fail your kindred. Stay faithful to Him daily and endure. I hope this helps you, and I’m praying for you all.

In loving memory of my sister, Veronica James, whom I miss and hope to see again.