All the Feels

Sometimes you can’t trust anyone. Betrayal is one of the most common things on earth. It is important to see through it and be strategic.

Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring.

I hear my alarm go off. I have snoozed it way too many times to snooze it again, so I slowly get out of bed. All I want to do is go back to bed, but force myself not to.

Another day of school. At least my best friend Patrick will be there. He is the only reason I ever want to go back to my horrible, not fun, school. Also known as, the worst place on earth.

As I get finished with my routine, I get in the car. The sun shines brighter than ever. Not a cloud in the sky. When I arrive at school, I walk in hearing the echoes of chattery voices through the building.

As soon as I notice Patrick, I pick up the pace.

“What’s up Patrick,” I say

“What’s up!” He exclaims back even louder.

We blend in to the chattering throughout the school as we head to class. I hate class. It is always so boring. Never fun. I wish I could just hang out with Patrick all day.

After school, I head to Patrick's house. The sun shines less bright but still shines like the stars. The clouds have come back a little. I take in the sounds of the birds chirping as I walk with Patrick. His house was close to school, so I could walk to his house and come back to my car later. It was routine by now.

…

I hear my alarm clock ringing for the 11th time this morning. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring. Ring-One more snooze is what I hope for, but I force myself out of bed yet again as I exit the bed even slower than yesterday.

As I wait for Patrick to pick me up as he usually does on Fridays, I hear the trees swaying back and forth, getting pushed by the breezing wind. I taste the outside world all at once as I close my eyes. I hear the birds chirping and feel the breeze of wind tingling down my spine.

I open my eyes, as I hear a car engine approaching. One more day of school until the weekend.

“What’s u—,” I start, but stop as I notice Patrick looking hesitant and tired.

Patrick is never like this. He could get no sleep at all and he still would find a way to be more energetic than a toddler with unlimited energy. This just didn’t make sense.

I start to worry as I sit in silence in Patrick’s car. I don’t want to break the silence. I don’t want to break our friendship. I don’t want to break the only thing keeping me motivated. I just continue to sit there. Doing absolutely nothing, worrying, suffocating, anxiously.

When we made it to the school, I decided I would face it. I would break the silence.

“Thanks for going all the way in the other direction to pick me up, just to keep me some company, but dude. Just tell me what’s bugging you,” I say

“Bro, just leave me alone,” Patrick yells as he exits the car.

My heart starts pounding rapidly in shock, worry, and a bunch of other emotions all at once. Patrick would never act like this. Something big must be irritating him, and I have to figure everything out. I feel the sweat start to build up on my back. My stomach starts to feel as if it had a million butterflies flying around all at the same time, in the same place.

After school, I follow Patrick to his house, without him knowing. The way he is acting means he probably would not want me coming over today. He did not even talk to me at school at all. Not even anyone else.

As we approach his house, I see construction workers tearing it down. I see his family in tears, as they stand there watching their house being destroyed.

I sneak around the back of what is still remaining of the house as I encounter one of the many workers who are tearing it down.

“What’s going on over here? Why is the construction team tearing down this house,” I ask curiously.

“Whoever lived here was not paying their fees, their rent, anything. The government decided we were going to tear it down and build a park here for the neighborhood. I just got sent for the job.It seems exciting!” the worker says without a bit of shame.

I thank him before walking away from the house, so nobody can see me. I feel bad for Patrick, but feel even stronger rage for the government and what they were doing.

As I walked around the house to start my way into the neighborhood, I heard Patrick’s family talking about the financial situation they are in. I feel sorrow all throughout my body for them. They are losing almost everything they own. Now I get why Patrick was not himself at school today. I turn around and continue on my way to exit so I don’t get seen.

I walk all the way to my house. It takes two hours, but when I finally get to my destination, I realize it was all worth it. I had some alone time to think about the whole situation. I ran to my room and lay on my bed wondering how to help my best friend and his family. I have to do something, but what?

As I try to fall asleep which seems impossible at the moment, I hear some gunshots downstairs.

Pow! Pow! Pow! BOOM!

My parents are screaming. Sounds of my house being destroyed. I spring out of bed and pick up my baseball bat I still had from the sixth grade. I slowly and carefully walk downstairs to investigate. I feel the sweat start to build up all throughout my body. My thoughts start racing through my head faster and faster. I keep pondering on what decisions to make. I have to move swiftly and promptly.

As I make it to the living room, everything is unorganized. Something really happened. The lamp is shattered on the floor. The books all fell from the shelf which had dents in it from also falling to the floor.

I gasp as tears start to fall down my face. This can’t be. I feel my emotions start to pour out all at once as I feel more and more droplets of water falling down from my aqua blue eyes. I feel shame all throughout my body as I hear the culprit in the kitchen directly two rooms to the right of this one. I gaze at my dead parents. Paralyzed to the ground. Their expensive accessories are missing, and a lot of things are missing from the living room. I feel rage, then anger, then sadness, then anxiety. My emotions switch every few seconds.

Then I realized, I need revenge. I want to kill whoever did this. They took all the valuable things out of the house. They killed the people I loved. They ruined my mentality. They robbed me of everything.

I hear the door open and then close as I watch the culprit's car exit the driveway. Before I could do anything they were gone. Their baby blue sedan out of sight. The minute I find the one of a kind color of the sedan I will know it is them. When I figure it out I will get my revenge. I will. I need to. I have to. I won’t turn back now. I won’t until I honor the things that the culprit took from my life. I won’t until I get my revenge.

After getting no sleep, the next morning, the sun shines bright in the sky. The sky is deep azure blue, but has a baby blue tone that reminds me of the sedan the culprit owned. Alone, I stand in the house before exiting and locking the doors. I won’t go to school. I won’t do anything except find the culprit. I get in my car and drive and drive away. I keep driving with determination. I do not have the intention of stopping until I get what I want.

After six and a half hours I spotted the sedan, parked right outside an alleyway. I run out of my car as fast as a cheetah could ever run as I rip open the door of the car to find the culprit. I gasp with shock as everything hits me all at once. I feel my thoughts rushing back and repeating again and again faster and faster. My heart is pounding. How could it be?

I stand there paralyzed with shock as I find Patrick sleeping with his family in the back and front of the car. They used to have a grey tesla, but I guess because of their financial issues they had to switch. In the cup holder by the passenger and front seat I spot the gun. The gun they used to rob me. To rob me of everything. To kill my parents. It was them all along.

I reach for the gun after regaining some control over myself. I first point it at Patrick who I have the most rage for. After our friendship. After all the memories we had, he betrayed me in such a way that I would have never imagined was possible. I feel a tear drip down my face as I pull the lever.

BOOM!

Blood splatters all over his shirt as I slowly watch him suffer until he dies. I watch in sadness and relief at the same time. All the memories we had come rushing back to me all at once.

“Please, don’t do this,” I hear both of his parents say as the gunshot must have woken them up.

They are trapped in the car with no way out. I have the gun. I have the power here.

Then I turn to his parents as I plan to shoot them both. They had to have been a part of the robbery in some way. One of Patrick or his dad and mom had to be the one in the house. They all deserved what was coming. They had to know if they all lived in the car. That would explain why the minute the killed close the door the car could zoom out the driveway. They had to have worked together. Once I convinced myself they were all involved, I did it. I gave them what they deserved.

BOOM! BOOM!

I feel no regret as I take the gun with me. I watch all of them suffer. I watch my past best friend’s family die. My agonizing pain is never ending.

I never expected myself to do any of this. To be honest, nobody did. I did not even know I could. I have nothing better to spend my life doing now. I am trapped in a game, a lifetime that I will have to keep playing. Living in. I guess this is how it has to be.

I have to just accept it. My emotions exit my body as I no longer feel any of them. I will never let them affect me again. I was the killer I did not expect myself to be. I could never feel again.