Just the Wind

April 14, 2016. Lauren Aurelia's Diary. 8:22 am.

Today, I woke up at 3 am! I haven't woken up before 11 since college. In case you forgot, tomorrow is my 25th birthday. I have kept this diary since I was 13. My grandmother, Nana Carol, gifted it to me the night before she died. The night before my birthday. Well, I have to go grocery shopping. God, adult life is so boooorrrriiiinnnnng.

11:04 am

Okay so a weird thing just happened. I was getting my groceries, and I thought I saw my grandma. It wasn't her, though. I see her a lot sometimes. It's just a random old lady that lives nearby, probably. I currently live in Long Beach, California. Funnily enough, it was the only thing I could afford! I have a 2 bedroom apartment with my best friend since 3rd grade, Angelica Castillo. Together, we attended UC Berkley. I now have a degree in physics. I teach at Woodrow Wilson High School. My students are so funny. My fiance, William Savio, is the kindest person I have ever met. Ok, my hand is getting tired. I'll tell you more later.

1:57 pm

OK so as soon as William showed up, it started pouring rain. Like I mean I thought there was a hurricane.

He made sure we had batteries and candles in case anything happens. God, I love him more than words can say.

2:01 pm

I was closing the curtains, and I thought I saw my grandma walking on the street. Wow, she is coming to me a lot today. I guess I really miss her. Then I heard a scream. It was just the wind. Another scream. The wind is picking up. A louder scream. Again, and again, and again. The lights go out. Just the wind. It gets like this sometimes. It is just the wind.

5:43 pm

It took a few hours for the lights to come back on. William and I just sat and talked. About the wedding, about life afterward. What will it look like? We know we want the wedding to be in the city. With fairy lights and lanterns and floor to ceiling windows. With booming music and crowds of thousands. I think we will move out. Get an apartment in New York or something. I've always wanted to live in a city like that. I can go see some Broadway shows, and walk the streets trying to breathe all the excitement in. The topic always comes down to one unanswered question. Kids or no kids? I came for a particularly small family. Me, my sister, and my mom. My sister and I were both IVF. My mom never wanted to marry, never wanted the commitment of a marriage. She always had a need for a new, young life, though. I enjoyed our contained girl life. We all got each other, and were roughly the same size. We were just a group of best friends. I knew that if I ever had a kid, I would want their life to be like that. The first date William and I went on, he asked, "Do you ever picture yourself with kids in the future?" I think so.

7:19 pm

We got distracted for uh... wow 2 hours. I hear a faint whistle through the breeze. Just the wind. The generator cuts out. William grabs me from behind and I squeal, not anticipating the attack. He holds me tight. I am on the verge of tears, not from hate, but from genuine fright. The lights resume their usual flicker. "Why on earth did you do that?" my mouth forces off my tongue. I give up. My locked knees collapse and the tears start as a steady stream, rushing from my eyes. William holds my tighter. I don't know why I am crying. It scared me, but I don't cry when I am scared. Sobs begin to take over my lungs, making it strenuous to breathe. I feel a stabbing pain in my lower right side. I never took anatomy, but I am pretty sure that is my appendix. This has just been the worse day.

April 15, 2016. Lauren Aurelia's diary. 12:42 am.

We made it to the hospital just in time. My appendix was about to rupture. After the surgery, William told me everything that happened, and why he grabbed me. He had tears welling up in his eyes and his voice sounded raspy, as if he had been screaming. He told me he had a really bad feeling about something. He just got so worried, so he grabbed me to keep me safe. I began to whimper at the thought of him worrying and then coming to my rescue. William gets in the stiff hospital bed with me, careful of the IV. He has always been the soft, quiet love type. That is what I have always wished for. He cradles me in his arms and I caress the outline of his bicep. "I saw my grandma. Her face. Everywhere I went today." I tell him all about how I heard the screams in the wind and the people wearing the face of my grandmother. I flip to the front page of this journal. She left me a note. "I love you, Lauren. I will miss you. Don't ignore me. See you later. Love, Grandma." That has helped me through these years. It was her. "Don't ignore me." I won't. I promise.

October 8, 2016. Lauren Savio's diary. 3:07 pm.

I just got married!!!!!!!! I cannot wait for this new chapter of my life. I am so excited to share my time with someone as wonderful as William. I was sad about my grandma not being here, but not like heartache. It is more like soft sadness. One that warms your heart while breaking it into pieces. Well, not breaking. More like bending. I love you, grandma.

February 15, 2017. Lauren Savio's diary. 5:00 pm.

We are pregnant!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This has been such a journey. It is a girl. We are going to name her... Caroline.