My End with Dahlia

The armchair was different under my hands, hands drawing tight lumps in my newest furniture piece. Maybe that was my throat constricting, the blaring warning on the tv had been enough. People were scrambling outside as the sky sketched bruised lines, smaller meteors broke the blue with grey trails.

It was 2032, the year a meteor was set to impact. Scientists had been happy to state that the chance of impact had been a mere 3.12% chance years ago, but as time grew forward it became more and more apparent that the chance was no longer merely 3.12% but one hundred.

I couldn’t help the bitter laugh encroaching from my jaw, I had fought. I had almost won!! Had to take the whole lower leg to increase my time, but I nearly beat it!. I had gotten used to hobbling with the crutches, down the stairs, up the stairs, all the way to work. Luckily it hadn’t impacted me much there, I had been a receptionist long before this disaster came from the skies.

I drew forward from the chair, unlike most people, I had already become resigned to my own fate long before it came. With cancer as bad as my own you would’ve been dead in a year regardless. My phone chimed with messages, people saying their goodbyes I figured. But I had not had contact with much of anyone since the amputation. No one had cared to reach out, except one. Most only cared when it suited their needs. I could not forgive people who’d been so heartless.

My own cat stood as my last companion, my old girl soon to pass in her own age. She too did not run, nor flinch at the blaring noise from the tv. I muted the sound and laid back again drawing up both legs within the recliner and turned on some music. My phone continued to ding and vibrate with notifications but I just silenced them.

Do not disturb.

I laid against the back of the chair as Dahlia climbed up on old bones onto my chest.

“Hello my sweet girl” I greeted gingerly, she did not react to my greeting in any way and yet her purrs continued. The both of us had already been through and seen far too much of this world to stick around for much longer.

“How about some salmon tonight? We’ll feast” I stroked between her ears as the lights flickered, my tv went out.

Her purrs stopped momentarily before continuing again. She had not heard my offer, her hearing had gone far longer than her old age had, deaf since I’d found her eight years ago. I think she was about eighteen.

We’d been companions since I’d started my job as a receptionist. How perfect these years had been. In that time I had gotten to know two men and one woman.

The first was Mark. He was an older gentleman who I’d taken quite a liking too. Perhaps because of his money or his charm I could not be sure. He sure spoiled Dahlia though, I think he’d been her favorite among them all. He had always dressed in these prim and proper suits. He looked quite dashing by my side, especially when we populated the clubs and bars. But we never really became much of an item. From what I recall in our brief encounters he had picked up a growing interest in my next door neighbor. Of course I introduced him, my neighbor was quite the looker himself. I wasn’t bothered, as the relationship between Mark and I stayed casual and undetermined. He might’ve been the only one I still kept in contact with.

Following Mark, I met Arthur. He had once been a coworker and he’d expressed some interest in me. I had never been one to simply open up; but Arthur did something to my heart. He made me desire something more than just a casual conversation and kisses; he made my heart burn. Arthur was young and spirited, a few years younger than me but that didn’t mean he had any issue keeping up (In fact I’m quite certain at some points I’d slowed him down). Maybe that’s why I had been so hurt by his confession a couple months in, he’d been sleeping with my roommate at that time and had gotten her pregnant. He had stated that he’d be choosing her and their baby.

After the two relationships I became guarded, I left the apartment I had spent the last five years in and moved to the area where I currently reside. I decided on California’s coast because that was where my job had an opening in the area. The apartment I chose was rather small but it had become the perfect place. I met Janice in the downtown area near the old Victorian houses staged around Eureka. We had both recently moved into town so I helped her move and she helped me. She had chosen an old house in the Carson Mansion area. When I asked her why she had chosen to move she had simply shrugged and explained that it was near her parents' burial sites and it seemed pretty homey. Our relationship was a lot of news for me, I had never kissed a woman, never went all that far with anyone the way I did Janice. I fell in love with her love of all things redwood and two years in proposed not long after we had moved to a home to share. She rejected it and within a month left town. I was left to the pieces of our broken home, and was left to pay off the bills that accumulated in her absence.

Mark visited me with his husband in tow not long after and the two helped me through Janice’s fallout, he helped me sell the ring and repaint the home. We had a few encounters, the three of us, but nothing came of them. The two returned back to their apartment further west and I settled into a routine. Still even after they left I continued to cry. Tears kept falling from my eyes like the lulls of wind when she carved out my heart in the days to follow.

Beyond that my routine continued; coffee, feed Dahlia, rush to work, head home, cook lunch for the next day, watch tv with Dahlia, then sleep.

I did that for two years straight, family feud re-runs became our go to. Dahlia’s tendency to drool had become something I’d gotten used to in her age and in combination with her white fur I was not given an option to lay out my clothing ahead of time.

Dahlia never seemed to care she cuddled at every chance, paws grinding into my side as she kneaded away.

“She’s making biscuits!” Mark had laughed, it’d been when she first tried catnip all those years ago.

I flipped the tv on again with the emergency battery, deciding that I’d let the tv run on silent while I ran to the store.

“Be back soon Dahl!” I whispered as I kissed her forehead. She returned the kiss with a purr and exited my lap. I could ignore these feelings for one more night.

I hobbled out with my crutches, the meteor was set to arrive late into the night so if I was lucky I’d still have time to drink enough wine to slumber out the disaster. I scoffed at people who raced by, and tucked my coat in closer to me. The store's doors did not respond immediately but it did not matter as they were wide open. The lights were still on inside but it was deadly quiet with only the addition of people who must’ve had my exact thoughts. I got myself a wheelchair and wheeled by an older woman pushing a cart with her little pup inside.

“How cute is he?!” I grinned, the woman looked warily at me but warm,

“His name’s Frankie, he’s very friendly!” she smiled.

“What a cute name!” I complimented, I glanced briefly at my phone registering that it was six hours to midnight,

“Would you look at that! Seems I must hurry this up, you have a wonderful day!” I waved bye to the woman who returned with an equally calm goodbye and continued to walk the aisles calmly pushing Frankie along.

I followed the red rimmed aisles of the store and grabbed the salmon for Dahlia,

“Salmon for my Dahl, steak for me!” I sang.

I would’ve never been able to afford it as it was but there was nothing to stop anyone anymore, no amount of money could stop the bullet heading for our heads. I had learned that in my time sitting in those chairs kept in chemo rooms. Six months of chemo made my hair fall out, eight months made my body uninhabitable beyond daily. Then within a year I had lost a leg, and in the next two to follow I was set to lose it all.

It didn’t matter much now.. From now on, I just have to focus on tonight.

I took my time perusing the wine section, careful around the broken glass and picked out a nice red for the steak, and a nice white to coincide dessert. I popped the red open with a corkscrew and sipped on it as I shopped. This red would be delicious with the steak.

I did not have much care to do much cooking and grabbed a nice looking black forest cake from the refrigerator. I had to admit, whoever had organized these shelves in the dessert section did a very good job!

I rolled out of the store through the open doors with my groceries in hand and a grin set on my face.

I had never been so excited for a meal before, and I’m sure my Dahl felt the same.

When I got back I set the food on the counter and turned up the tv. The house looked strange in the dark, but there was still enough light from the sunset to see what I was doing. My countertops were bathed in the golden light of the dropping sun, and I said my goodbyes to the blue skies of yesterday.

I did not let it linger as I reverse seared the steak with the red wine, honey, and carrots from the fridge, and sliced Dahlia’s salmon with the last of her fancy treats in a nice bowl.

When both were done I set the bowl on the table in front of the tv, the sun's last rays fell before the earth for the last time and I smiled.

Our meal was perfect, maybe a bit rare; but what doctor could tell anyone no? I had little to worry about. I drank down the wines and gorged on the cake sharing bites with Dahlia.

At long last we both retired to bed. With Dahlia tucked at my side I let my eyes drift shut before the end could reach us. And in the warmth that followed, I stood strong on two feet, to reunite with the spry white cat I had loved into age.