The Midwife

**TW: pregnancy, child death.** “Alright Mary Beth, looks like we’re getting close to time for you’re little one to arrive. How long ago did the birth pains start, and how frequently are you feeling them now?” As I pulled my long, dark hair up into a bun, I looked to Mary Beth for an answer.

“Ahhh… not sure. After supper last night I believe is when it first started. They weren’t terribly close together then. But since this morning they’ve grown much closer together. Ohhh….” She squeezed her eyes shut as another wave of pain overtook her. She curled around her stomach on the makeshift mat on the floor near the fire. “It hurts so much. Mother didn’t warn me it would hurt this much.”

A wave of sympathy overtook me. “It varies from woman to woman. Some feel the pain more than others. Her’s may not have been as bad. I’ll do what I can to ease it.” Noting the sweat already forming on Mary Beth’s brow, I moved to my bag and pulled out a couple of different bottles. “First things first, I’ll give you a bit of tincture to help with the pain. I also have a bottle of sweet olive oil here. This should also help with the pain some, and will help sooth the skin and help lubricate the passage for the child. I’ll apply that while I examine you to determine where in the process we are. But I’d say we’re not long until you greet your child to this world.”

I grab a glass of fresh water from the pitcher and add a few drops of poppy tincture to it. “Drink this. I’m going to have to feel around your belly first to see if I can determine where the child lies. Then I’m going to have to feel at your opening to see if it is large enough yet for the child to come through. Do you understand me?” Eyes wide with fear, Mary Beth took the glass from me and nodded her head. She began to drink.

I soften my tone and gently pat her stomach. “Don’t worry love. It’ll be over before you know it, and soon you’ll be holding your wonderful, beautiful child.” As she finished the glass, Mary Beth seemed to relax slightly. “There, there. I’m going to examine you now. Okay?” She nods her assent and I lift her shift up under her breasts, exposing her belly and lower half. I take the other bottle and apply some sweet olive oil to my hands and begin to feel around her belly. That is when the trouble began. As I ran my hands over the top portion of her belly I felt something rounded, the head. The child must be turned feet first. Not good. My mother always said get the head down first if at all possible. If it comes feet out, the odds of both surviving were not good.

“Okay Mary Beth, I’m going to have to put my hand in where the child comes out to see if the opening has grown large enough yet. This may feel odd.” As I work my hand inside, Mary Beth looked increasingly uncomfortable. “Oh, that hurts…”

“I know dear, I know. Not much longer.” As I withdrew my hand only one thought entered my mind. Damn! From how open she was, this child was coming quickly. “Alright, it’s close to time, but I need you to try your hardest not to push just yet. Your child is facing with their feet down. I need to try to get them to turn with their head down. This means I’m going to have to push pretty hard on your stomach. Hopefully the little one will flip and then we’ll be ready. Okay?” The fear on her face is as old as time itself. “Take a deep breath for me. And now.” I push around the top of her stomach with one hand trying to get the child’s head to move down and sweep under the belly with the other trying to get the feet to move up. Mary Beth screams in pain, but the child does not seem to want to budge. Oh no, no, no. It doesn’t want to move. The town’s folk here already consider what I do to border on witchcraft. If I lose either of these two…well, they’ll probably make sure a third coffin is filled as well. The thoughts rapidly crossed my mind, but I pushed them away to focus. “I know Mary. I know it hurts. I’m not going to lie to you, this may not be an easy birth at all. But I am here, and I will do everything in my power to get you and your child through this safely. Lord willing.” It was going to be a very long evening and night.

***

I sat on the floor, trying to control the tears streaming down my face. My apron was covered in blood, and I removed it, and tried to clean the blood from my hands. I’d have to go and face the father soon. I looked over at Mary Beth, if I didn’t know she’d already bled out I would have thought she was asleep. But I did know better. On the floor by her feet wrapped in a cloth was the small body of the child that never took a breath. Walking over to him, I gently picked up the child and placed him in his mother’s arms. Even in death a mother should still get to hold her son.

I cleaned up my supplies and wiped my face. Then braced myself to address the waiting father and kin outside. As I placed my hand on the door, I looked back at Mary Beth and her child. I’m so sorry I failed you two.

Once I’m on the porch, immediately an excited gaggle of relatives surrounded me.

“How are they?”

“Is it a boy or a girl?”

“That was a lot longer labor than her mother ever had. How is she doing?”

Silently, I looked at the father, Jacob in the eyes as everyone quieted down. Jacob seeing my solemn face simply asked, “Are they…” and I could no longer hold his gaze and looked down.

“NO!!!” He screamed as he raced back into the house. His strangled cry rang throughout the community. Some of his kin raced in after him, but the rest, the rest started tearing into me.

“What happened?!”

“Devil’s spawn, I knew she never should have called you. Better to ride it out in prayer than to rely on a witch!”

“Needed another sacrifice to Satan did we?”

“Devil’s whore. Never trust a Jenkins woman, witches the lot of them.”

Eventually, Mary Beth’s grandmother, Eugenia, pushed through the throng of people who quieted down at the sight of her. She looked me in the eye and simply asked, “Elspeth, what happened to them?”

“The baby was turned the wrong way. Tryin’ to come out feet first. We worked for quite a while trying to get him to turn, but eventually the urge to push just over took her and out he came. Got stuck at the head and shoulders coming out. I did the best I could to guide him out, but it took too long. He never even got to take a breath. When he did finally come free, he tore something deep in her. I couldn’t get the bleeding to stop. I promise you I did everything I could for them. But whether I had been here or not, this would’ve been the outcome. But I’m glad that I was there for her even if I couldn’t change what happened.”

Eugenia nodded solemnly. “Ay, feet first almost never ends well. Alright rest of ya be getting home. Jacob is going to be needin’ our strength and help for the next while. Go on with ya’. Ain’t going to be no celebratin’ today.” As Eugenia shooed the crowd away, I could still here the mutterings of my name, and the words devil, witch, and Satan. Eugenia approached me on the steps and drew me into her arms. Tears started leaking down my face again.

“You best be gettin’ home too dear. You did all you possibly could today. And I want you to know at least that I’m grateful, even if the rest of these folks don’t understand how hard it is to do what you do.” Eugenia gave me a very world-weary smile as she patted my shoulders. “Thank you Eugenia, that means a lot. And I am so very sorry for your loss.”

***

As I approached my home, I was treated to a welcome sight. “Johnathan! What in heaven’s name are you doing here this late?!” My neighbor and long time friend sat on my porch petting my cat Lilly.

“Well, it was gettin’ late. And you know I worry for you when I know a birth is taking a long time, because sometimes they go well…and sometimes they don’t. Just wanted to make sure you were alright is all. See if you need any supper. Momma sent me with some stew.”

“Thank you Johnathan. You are a dear. As a matter of fact it was a very long evening at that. She…she didn’t make it. Neither one of them did.” Tears leak down my cheeks again as Johnathan draws me into a hug. “Careful now. The townsfolk will say I’ve bewitched the most eligible bachelor here.”

He scoffed. “Oh for real, they on about that witchcraft nonsense again. Anyone with a decent set of eyes in their head would know you ain’t no witch.”

“More and more of them I’m afraid. This certainly didn’t allay any of their fears. I’m sure there’s more than a few of them saying I sacrificed Mary Beth and her poor child to Satan himself.” I shook with fear. Witch hangings should have been a thing of the past, but fear made people do irrational things they wouldn’t normally.

“Well they’re fools. Come on now, let’s go have some of this stew. And you can talk as little or as much as you want about what happened.” He brushed my tears away from my cheeks.

“Alright. I’ll put a kettle on for some tea then.” And we went inside.

***

It was still dark in my cabin when I was awakened by the sound of a creaky floorboard. My breath caught in my throat as I heard another creak. “Damn.” Someone spoke softly in the dark.

“Who’s there?!” I yelled startled.

“Shit. Grab her!!” Was the only response I heard before I was roughly grabbed and yanked from my bed. Lilly yowled and hissed from under the bed.

“Be gone familiar or you’ll be next!” One of the voices kicked the bed that Lilly was under. I heard her bolt out the window. At least she’s safe. I thought as I was dragged kicking and hollering out of my home being yanked along by rough hands. Once in the yard, I saw a large group of people gathered with torches in the still dark early morning. I started to yell more, but was smacked in the face for my trouble.

“Quiet! Witch!” The men holding me I could now see were Jacob’s cousins. I could see several of his kin and Mary Beth’s in the crowd along with others. Slowly a chant took up amongst the crowd, “Hang the witch! Hang the witch! Hang the witch!”

As the crowd got rowdier and louder, they dragged me further from my home. Suddenly a disturbance started up behind us. “Elspeth!!” I heard Johnathan cry out. As I craned my head around, I could just see two men grab him and another threw a heavy blow to his head. “Johnathan!” I cried as he crumpled to the ground. I’m still just long enough to see Eugenia come running. “What do you think you all are doing?! This isn’t right, by the Lord, and all a one of you know it!” She cried out as she bent to look at Johnathan. “Stay out of this old woman. You were her kin too. You should want this as much as we do.”

“I ain’t as dumb as all you. What you are doing is wrong. That girl ain’t no witch. You all are just looking for someone to blame for your pain.” Eugenia then cradled Johnathan’s head in her lap wiping blood from his face. She looked at me with such pain, and I knew nothing she said would stop what was coming. It’s okay, I mouth to her, Take care of him. She nodded once to me, and I knew she understood.

As the scuffle died down, the dragging began again, and now I could see the destination. The tree in the center of our small town that had been the sight of more than a few hangings. My fate was clear. The two men hauled me to my feet and a noose was placed around my neck. “Any last words, witch?” I hear from Jacob. Someone in the crowd cries out, “Don’t let her speak! She might curse all of us!” But Jacob makes a slashing motion in their direction and turns back to me. He inclined his head as if to say go on.

“I’ll not curse you.” I began. “Because I’m not a witch despite what you all may think of me. God may judge me for my actions in this life. But rest assured, the Devil will keep and judge you for yours.” I don’t cry, just stare stonily back at the crowd. Then I feel the noose tighten and my feet leave the ground. The last thing I ever feel again.