verity and petra

“You’re calling for a dog that’s never gonna come back, Verity,” Petra sighed, laying with her eyes on my ceiling, the blue stars dimly lit.

“How do you know?” I asked, turning to face her.

“It’s just never going to work out, truly. I mean, I want you to be happy and right now you seem really happy and I love that, but it’s just not going to work out.” she said, frowning. My eyelids sagged and I was struggling to keep my eyes open, and Petra wasn’t helping me stay awake.

“But, Petra, I want this to work so bad. So, so bad. I’ve never wanted something more, I… I want you,” I said softly, turning to her. I swiped a strand of her honey-streaked hair off of her forehead, and her emerald eyes sparkled.

“Look, Verity, this is what’s best for me, for you, and for him.” Petra’s voice cracked, and I could see tears starting to form. My own throat burned with the threat of tears. She sighed and then sat up, wiping under her eyes. She looked down at me and then smiled a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. My head started to pound, and I rocked back and forth a little.

“I’m going to go get dinner started, okay?” she murmured, yawning as she outstretched her arms, showing off her vast wingspan. Petra was tall. She had to look down to talk to me, and I had to stand on my tiptoes if I wanted to touch her face. My vision started to go a little black around the edges.

“Okay,” I whispered, sniffling. I grabbed a tissue and then blew my nose. Blood.

I sighed and then walked out of my room into the bathroom, where I studied myself in the mirror. My cheeks sparkled with the highlight I had applied this morning, and a mark of Petra’s apple red lipstick was planted on the side of my face from when she had kissed me earlier today. Before it all happened.

And now I’m calling for a dog that’s never gonna come back.

Even if I really, really want it to come back.

Blood started to drip down my nose and onto my mouth and chin, leaving a deep red mark wherever it trailed. I grabbed a sheet of toilet paper to stop the bleeding, tilting my head back.

Suddenly, the world around me began to spin. My eyes blurred, then went black. Blood dripped out of my eyes, and I fell back. My head hit the shower door and I screamed.

Petra came running in, hair pulled into a messy bun.

“Oh my god, Verity!” she yelled, tears immediately falling down her face. She was in almost as much pain as I was. My head pounded and I could feel the blood rushing out of me like a river.

Petra grabbed her phone and dialed some numbers, then she grabbed more sheets of toilet paper, and grabbed the blood-soaked sheet that was pressed to my nose. She wiped up my eyes and then pressed it to my nose.

I could feel her hands shaking and her eyes look wild, her pupils dilated like an animal’s.

“No, no, no, no,” she cried, pressing more and more sheets to my face, holding my head up. There was a bruise on her shoulder.

She dialed the numbers again, and then pressed more sheets onto my face as she spoke into the phone.

“Hi, yeah, um, I’m at 24 Longview Drive, and, and, I, my girlfriend is, is, on the floor, and, and, she’s bleeding, she’s bleeding so much, so much blood, please come,” she pleaded, crying hysterically.

I felt like I was high, and my lips spread into a smile.

“I’m okay, Petra Petra, I’m a-okay,” I muttered. Petra sobbed even harder.

“How fast can you come? Okay, okay, yes, I’m trying to be calm, okay, uh, what can I do? I, I d-don’t want her to, to die!” Petra wailed into the phone.

Petra faded into a blur as tears of blood fell out of my eyes.

“I’m okay, P-Petra Petra, I’m… I’m okay,” my sentence fell off, and I started to laugh.

That just made Petra shake and sob even more.

“I’m not going to d-die, P-Petra… Petra… I’m okay,” my voice wasn’t mine anymore.

Petra was practically applying the whole fresh roll of toilet paper on my face, and snot was running down her nose and her mascara was coming off in clumps.

“Don’t… don’t cry, Petra P-Petra, I’m-I’m not gonna die,” I said again, the back of my neck trembling as I tried to sit up. Petra pushed me back down, and then laid next to me, cradling me in her arms as the phone whispered something into her ears.

“What, what should I do? Please, just help me,” she begged with the phone.

It was silly to beg with something that’s not gonna listen, right? Nobody’s on the phone, after all! Silly Petra Petra! Petra Petra was my nickname for her. I liked saying words twice. And giving people nicknames. So, Petra Petra!

I laughed, and then repeated her name.

“Petra Petra! Petra Petra!”

“What, Verity?” she sobbed, her image slowly blurring, then coming into focus, then blurring again.

“Petra Petra, don’t cry, Petra Petra, I… I…”

Petra’s sobs echoed in the bathroom, coming off of the bathroom tile with a ting. Red and blue lights filled up the window and then Petra gasped in relief. Her whole body shook as big people entered the room, their eyes dull and calm. Petra’s eyes were wide and like a dog’s.

Was she the dog that’s never gonna come back?

No, no, silly Petra! Silly me! Petra Petra’s not a dog, Petra Petra is a person!

The big people lifted me and then Petra clung onto me like a crab clings onto a shell for a home. She kept whispering some things in between her crying.

“Don’t die, don’t die, I love you, I love you. I love you, Verity, I love you, Verity,”

I smiled, and then laughed. But it hurt to laugh, so I stopped.

“I… I love love you too, Petra Petra!” I said fervently. She grabbed harder onto my hand and for a moment I remember what we were just talking about.

She wanted to leave, I wanted to stay.

There’s no in-between.

There were sirens blaring all in my ears, and I reached up to touch Petra’s face with my bony little fingers.

“C-C can you tell them to…to… turn the music down, Petra Petra? I’m not… I’m not allowed to go to… to parties,”

Petra’s eyes went wide and then she almost mustered a smile, but it crumbled just like she did a while ago and then she put her lips to my ear.

“I love you very, Verity, I love you very.”

Big people surrounded me and then when they were mostly done Petra kissed my face, leaving behind apple-red lip stains.

…

All I could hear was Petra.

All I could see was Petra. Petra Petra.

…

“You’re imagining things, Petra Petra,”

“What am I imagining?”

“That I’m gonna die.”

“Verity…”

“I’m not even sick, Petra-a,”

“Okay, you can think that-”

“But it’s true! Am I sick, Petra?”

“Well… yeah, you are sick.”

“Am I beautiful?”

“Yes, you’re very beautiful.”

“Tell me again, Petra Petra!”

“You’re very beautiful, Verity,”

“That’s nice.”

…

After a while, my vision came back and I stopped feeling like I couldn’t control what I was saying. Petra still stayed with me.

I can’t even remember why she wanted to leave in the first place.

There was a boy, right?

Who cares about boys, anyways.

“Hey, Petra Petra,” I said, my words less slurred than usual. Petra glanced up at me from her phone where she had been reading something, and she smiled. Her apple-red lipstick was on today.

“Hey, Verity,” she replied, placing her hand next to mine. I held it and then laced our fingers together, staring at them.

“Petra, I don’t ever want to die,” I said, looking into her shining emerald eyes.

Petra smiled, then started to take her hand from mine.

She slowly got out of her seat, turning to me. My eyes started to blur, and I felt a ting of copper in my nose and mouth.

“Petra?” I said, my voice going high. Her eyes looked dull now, they weren’t shining like they always did.

I swallowed and swallowed again, starting to taste the metallic taste of blood.

“Petra, what are you doing?” I asked with urgency.

She grabbed all my machines and unplugged them. Sweat started to form on my forehead as blood started to trickle down my face.

“I’m sorry, Verity. But you’re calling for a dog that’s never gonna come back. This is the best thing to do.”

She kissed my forehead, and I could feel the apple-red lip stain on my face.

Petra walked out, shoes clicking on the linoleum floor.

“Wait, Petra!” I called, trying to get out of bed. My head pounded, and I cried out in pain.

I could hear Petra murmur something from outside of the door.

“I love you very, Verity.”