Hansel and Gretel

Part 1: Should you return again

"Well, well, well,” croaked that old and unholy voice. "Look at what the cat dragged in."

Gretel was enveloped in darkness, light suddenly assaulting her as the pumpkin she hid herself in was torn open. The Cat-Sith, who went by Rags, dropped the blade he held and pulled Gretel onto the sugar stained floorboard.

"Why do you persist?" The Witch asked, stirring a cauldron that bubbled like sulfur. "Your brother is being well taken care of. Why do you want him to struggle like you? Out in the woods, hungry and cold. No life for a child, you know."

"Neither is being eaten,” Gretel replied, standing up. "Give me Hansel. Now."

A cackle that made the hair on Gretel's neck stand up echoed from The Witch.

"You're in no position to make demands. Rags, see our uninvited guest out.”

"Yes, Misses,” Rags said, grabbing Gretel's wrist and proceeding for the door.

"Oh, and Gretel," The Witch said. "Should you return again, my mercy may find itself coming to an unfortunate end. Rags."

Rags opened the door, kicking Gretel onto the dirt, a light covering of autumn leaves cushioning her fall somewhat (though not by much).

"Bye, misses," Rags said before shutting the door.

Gretel sighed.

"Shucks."

***

"Well,” said Happy the Dwarf, pacing back and forth on a log. "This doesn't mean you've failed; it just means this particular method failed. Keep your head up, young Missy."

Gretel groaned on a bed of leaves beside Happy.

"No...you don't understand. I keep failing. One after the other. If I fail again, that's it. No do over."

"Hm,” Happy pronounced, putting his hand to his chin. "Then all that means is next time you can't fail. And you won't."

Gretel groaned again, standing to her feet.

"Easy for you to say, Happy. You're not the one at risk of getting killed, or having your brother eaten."

"Hm...yes, that is true. Still, I have faith that you won't fail again."

Happy jumped off the log, falling to a pile of leaves. He approached Gretel, beckoning for her to lean down. He placed his palm on her shoulder.

"Still, though, all the faith of others doesn't matter if you don't have any in yourself. Do you believe you can succeed the next go around, Missy?"

Gretel pondered a moment, before-

"Yes. I believe I can succeed the next go around."

Happy patted Gretel's shoulder.

"Attagirl, now for the next part: crafting an impervious plan."

Part 2: An Impervious Plan

"So, what do we have?"

Gretel stood next to Happy, observing the items that lay on the forest floor.

"An axe my father left us when he abandoned us, along with his pocket watch. A half-eaten jar of honey and a small sack of dried meat that is now mostly gone. Some sap, a fern, six feet of rope, and a blade that Hansel found in a stream."

"Hm,” Happy murmured, observing the display. "With some work put in, I think this may be perfect."

Gretel turned to Happy, a brow raised.

"Perfect? How? I can't just walk in and kill The Witch with an axe, Rags would tear me asunder before I even reach the living room."

"Perfect in that we can use it to get the materials for the only thing that can harm a witch."

Happy looked up at Gretel with a devilish grin plastered on his ruddy face.

"Magic."

***

"-almost there,” Happy groaned. "Just a push more."

Gretel, balanced precariously on a large rock, hoisted Happy up, his tippy toes wobbling on her shoulders.

"D-do you see it?" Gretel said, strained. "You're far heavier than your stature implies."

"Rude, and yes, I do have it. Bring me down."

Gretel descended the stone, setting Happy down on the ground. He put up his hand to her, a feather pinched between his fingers.

"The feather of an Eurasian blue tit."

"How did you pluck that without awakening it?"

"Dwarf secret,” Happy responded. "Now, we have to find a sliver of gold."

"Sliver of gold? How? Where?"

"The stream, of course."

The walk to the stream was cold, a chilly breeze going since morning, but now having picked up, a prismatic twirl of orange, brown, and yellow leaves assaulting Gretel in the face.

"How do you know so much about this? Magic, I mean."

"Once upon a time, I had to deal with a witch myself. Nasty creatures they are."

After several more minutes of walking, the duo arrived at the stream, Happy hoisting up his trousers.

"Alrighty then,” Happy said, proceeding into the rushing water.

"Do you want me to help?" Gretel asked without much enthusiasm.

"Oh no no no,” Happy said, observing the stream floor. "Dwarves are better insulated than humans, wouldn't want you catching your death."

Happy continued up and down the stream, muttering to himself all the while. This went on for some time, so long that the sun had begun to dip, the sun soon for bed and the woods cast in gold. Happy suddenly released a squeal, striking his arm down. He walked back for the ground, unrolling his fist to Gretel. In it-

"Gold,” Happy said in almost awe. "Now, there's just one last step."

***

The bonfire that Happy had made, along with the strange words he muttered to himself as he stirred all the ingredients in a pot, made Gretel feel like she herself was a witch.

"Um...Happy,” Gretel said, Happy breaking from his gibberish powered trance.

"Yes?"

"Is this...is what we're doing okay?"

Happy observed Gretel, nodding his head before he walked over to her.

"Ah, yes, The Witch. She's made you scared of the otherworldly. The strange."

Happy looked back at the fire, and the pot that sat atop it.

"Elvish tongue. That's what you hear me speaking. Long ago, in times so forgotten that any remembrance of them is now considered myth or folklore, they walked in the woods of man. They told of secrets, and powers that all living creatures possess. Most-nearly all, have forgotten-"

Happy walked back for the pot, resuming his stir.

"-but not all."

Happy resumed his muttering, Gretel watching. Several minutes later, Happy removed the pot from the fire and set it on a stone. He lowered a goblet into it, and when he lifted it out, steam rose from the cup.

"Let this cool,” Happy said, setting the goblet beside Gretel. "Then drink it."

"What?" a startled Gretel exclaimed. "Why?"

Happy looked back at Gretel, the light from the fire casting a devil's gaze across his face.

"For the final phase of the plan."

Part 3: Bird v Cat v Witch

"All right, the journey will be relatively short, especially with the speed you'll be going at. When you get there, just blend in with the rest. We know the witch will be gone for at least fifteen minutes, so that'll be your time to strike. Be stealthy, be fast, but most importantly, be smart."

"Okay,” Gretel said, nodding her now small, raven head. "I will."

Gretel flew from the forest floor, the sun just waking from its slumber. Across the horizon, other ravens flew with the rising sun, all en route to the witch's house. A gentle snowfall had started overnight, and a chill was in the air.

***

"Okay,” Rags said, pacing back and forth in front of the row of ravens. "Business is the same as usual: numbers one through five, you'll be in charge of supervising the northern sector. Six through ten, the southern. Eleven through twenty, you'll be in charge of scouting all the required herbs and spices for the witches' daily brew, twenty-one through twenty-five, surveillance on possible fairy activity in the east. Good luck, and may the Daemon Schrat watch over you."

The ravens for the north flew out, then the south, then the herb collectors, then finally the fairy watchers, which Gretel was grouped in.

"I haven't seen you before,” said one of the ravens, his voice harsh and raspy. "They ship you in from that mountain warlock?"

"Um...yes."

"Hm. You know-"

But when the raven turned his head back, Gretel was gone.

***

The cabin was empty, save for Rags, who rustled somewhere in the attic. Gretel flew in through the chimney, as she had only been a raven for a couple of hours, not being able to control her flight and crashing into a pile of ash. Afterwards, shaking herself off, she descended into the basement where Hansel sat captive.

"Hansel?” Gretel whispered. "Hansel?"

Gretel reached the basement, the room dark and murky, with a pungent, odd odor.

"...Gretel?" a soft voice replied in the dark.

Across the basement, a small cage, Hansel inside.

"Hansel,” Gretel yelled, running for the cage. "My God, what has she done to you?"

"Every bad thing,” Hansel replied.

Gretel's wing snuck through the bar gaps, brushing Hansel's dirty cheeks.

"Hansel..."

"Gretel,” Hansel responded.

Gretel began toying with the lock as best she could with her new appendages.

"Hold on, Hansel-,” Gretel began, before getting cut off by Rags.

"No, you hold on, little girl,” Rag said, descending down dark stairs on all fours, eyes yellow. "I warned you, now you know what I'm going to do to you? I'm gonna-"

Rags leapt down the staircase with fevered fury and strength, nearly cracking the stone when he landed on the basement floor. He ran for Gretel, throwing her into a pile of boxes and construction.

"I'm gonna rip the brows from your-"

Rags was interrupted by a sudden explosion of ashen smoke in the pile of boxes and construction where Gretel lay.

"Rags,” Gretel's voice said from the smoke. A moment later, the smoke began to dissipate, and Gretel crouched in human form with a bow and arrow in her arms.

"I've always hated you, in particular. Maybe more so than the godforsaken witch."

Rags began to open his jaws, but was met with an arrow that greeted the back of his throat. Gretel ran for Hansel's cage, unlocking it with a bent piece of metal. Hansel fell out and into Gretel's arms.

"Gretel...I'm sorry-"

"Don't apologize."

Hansel sniffed, pulling snot back into his nose as he looked at Gretel.

"Boy, you're a sight for sore eyes."

"Same here, but cmon, we have to move quickly."

Gretel hoisted Hansel up, and the siblings ascended the stairs, when they reached the living room-

"There,” the raven that Gretel spoke to earlier said, pointing an accusatory wing at her. "That's the one."

"Hm,” said The Witch, who Gretel thought was a shadow before it moved from the corner of the room and across the floor. "I warned you what would happen should you return. Unfortunate."

Suddenly, a stampede of footsteps thundered; a moment later, Rags arrived at the top of the staircase, his hand to his bleeding mouth.

"T-that filthy, wretched cretin almost killed me-"

Gretel raised her arrow, shooting Rags in the mouth again. He gagged and tumbled back down the steps.

"Hm,” The Witch replied, monotone. "Rags always was a bit of a bother, so consider this no extra wrath incurred."

"I don't care,” Gretel replied. A smile came across the Witches' lips.

"Feisty little thing. I like you, but as a woman of my word, I'm going to kill you now. Then I'm going to feast upon your timid and cowardly brother."

"My mom says I just have a gentle constitution,” Hansel meekly replied.

"Well,” The Witch began. "She obviously isn't an honest woman, unlike me."

The Witch removed a wand from her belt, the tip igniting in flame.

"Oh, how I love the smell of burning meat."

Gretel snatched a pipe from her satchel, blowing into it. The Witches' brows furrowed.

"What is that?"

"Oh,” Gretel responded. "How I love the scared faces of old and wretched hags soon to die."

An omnipresent buzz began to reverberate, outside the window, a cloud of black was closing in. As the cloud grew closer, the mass revealed itself to be a gathering of fairy soldiers.

"What the-" The Witch began, but her sentence was cut short by the sound of shattering glass.

"Light her up, boys!" shouted a fairy soldier, a bow and arrow in his arms. They shot forth arrows the size of matchsticks, each igniting midair. The Witch was soon engulfed in flames, hollering as she ran in wild circles, the living room itself catching fire.

"At ease!" the fairy general shouted. He flew to Gretel.

"Greetings, misses. The Witch is dead, and this concludes the fairy people's debt to the woodland dwarves. Should you contact us again, there will be legal repercussions. Good day."

And with that, the fairy people departed, leaving only a quickly burning cabin and a scorched corpse.

***

"Thank you!" Gretel exclaimed, hugging Happy so tight she hoisted him into the air.

"Alright, Missy, your thanks are appreciated. Feel free to put me down now."

Gretel sat Happy down, giving him one more squeeze before releasing him. Happy looked at Hansel, who shuddered under a blanket.

"Glad to see you free, lad."

Hansel gave a nod.

"Thank you."

Happy observed Gretel and Hansel with a smile.

"Off I am, then."

Happy turned around, walking away before Gretel shouted.

"W-wait! Where are you going? W...what should we do now?"

Happy turned around.

"For your first inquiry, perhaps back to my kinfolk. I've been gone for quite a while. For your second, I don't know, but-"

Happy stood on his tippy toes, closing his eyes and inhaling the cold, winter air.

"-It's cold, but there's something warm in the east. I'd reckon you go there."

And so Happy departed into the thick of the woods, his footsteps soon covered by snow.

"Alright then,” Gretel said, turning to Hansel. "I guess we go east."

They descended into the forest.

It was so terribly cold. Snow was falling, and it was almost dark.