Potions For You

(this is super silly and exaggerated, but I had so much fun writing it :')

~

Bitter winds howled and leaves rustled, floating away in the air. It was so cold, you could literally freeze into the frozen people from the Znarnia. But that didn't bother anyone. The weather had been just brilliant and suitable.

Regardless of the horrible weather, people went to work and life went on. It was a custom that every weekend, they'd gather at midnight, circle around the bonfire and exchange stories passed down from their ancestors. Old women would unearth the long forgotten tales of the shamans and devils and narrate them with such emotion and eloquence, that even the young, inexperienced folks with skeptical ideas of existence of such things, struggled getting back home.

Lastly, the special section of the society comprised the sorcerers, witches and those alike. There had never been any feud between these two different societies. They lived together and respected each other, never saw any difference in one another and that about sums it up!

Amidst the busy streets, lied a small shop at the end of the lane. It was nothing much; the occupants of the shop were huge fans of frog showpieces, so they made sure to keep them out on their porch. Anyone who touched them would never have their hands intact. 

Eh, just joking!

The occupants aka the witches of the town were solicitous about the welfare of their people.

"Hurry up, Muriel!" Loset shouted from the washroom.

"Shut up! Don't call me that, Loser." Yubi called out. She hated being called Muriel since she was a wicked witch from the ancient times. People despised her and had burnt her alive after her heinous crimes were exposed. On the other hand, Yubi would call Loset, Loser. She was a big fight to the delinquents at school and thus, to put her off, Loser was the name.

The door to the washroom slammed open and out emerged Loset, her hair dripping with water and a Bello Mitty towel wrapped around her torso. 

"You're still idling around, aren't you?!" She rested her hands on her hips and glared at Yubi who was busy ogling a model in a magazine. "Wait till Noriko comes in and whoops your butt!"

Yubi would've just sat there and ignored Loset's words, but Noriko didn't let her. She knocked on the door with a pattern only the shop's residents recognized and dropped a heavy grocery bag on the ground.

"You halfwits! You know we're gonna have clients coming in any second, don't you?" Noriko yelled with her eyes closed as if she was immersed in shouting and enjoyed it.

Yubi got up immediately and headed toward the centre table followed by Loset who still had her towel on, but now a pair of dull-coloured trousers hung on her shoulder. Everybody knew Loset's poor taste in fashion. She was far too lazy to put time into dressing up properly even if she were at home. An off-white oversized t-shirt (probably picked up from the road and most likely peed on by dogs) and a pair of ill-fitting pants would work just fine for her.

Noriko took the grocery bag to the kitchen and ambled back to the table. She stirred at the huge cauldron which bubbled dark purple. Adding in some twigs and secret ingredients, she stirred some more and picked up a few bottles from the racks, each bottle labelled differently. The ones she had picked were labelled as potions for love~~ 

Outside, the neon blue Halem Potions sign board flickered every now and then. And right in front of the house, stood the billboards advertising the shop with the worst edits one could have ever laid eyes on. Noriko's poorly photoshopped body stood in front of Meiffel Tower and right next to her was the Megalodon from the movie, Beg. 

Ah yes, the Halem Witches sold off potions, especially love potions. Clients would swarm in for potions to make their secret loved ones fall in love with them. And they were quite popular too and therefore, they had a million billboards sprawled across the town. People loved them as they were all from different cultures, had the best personalities and moreover, were the kindest. 

Noriko, the oldest, was the leader of the Halem Witches and one of a…. weird kind. 

Loset was the biggest delinquent at school. She enjoyed getting into fights and would come home with bruises on her face and arms. Noriko who could heal people would always be after her, drag her to the washroom and thrust ointments at her. All done in frustration.

And, Yubi. Yubi could be Loset's true soulmate after Loset's boyfriend who was kind and charming and flashed 100-watt smiles at everyone and made them go blind. She was more of a real goon; had won fights you couldn't even count on your fingers. She was called The Artery Buster.

"Loset darling, mind bringing me the pink bottle, please?" Yubi said.

Loset got down from her high stool and stalked over to the racks, pulling out a cute, little bottle and handed it over to Yubi.

The bell to the entrance of the shop chimed and as they thought a client would hop in, somebody else came in instead with a chinchilla in their hand.

It was Virgo. She had just come home from school, but with a baby chinchilla cradled in her arms. Soon after, another person appeared from behind her: Liv. Liv looked spooky, for her eyeliner had smeared across her face and that gave an impression that she had huge, unsettling dark circles around her eyes. She adored gothic outfits and currently had a warrior-like dress on underneath her black cape and a pair of high, pump boots. Noriko had always picked on her for wearing such daunting and offbeat clothes.

"Where in the name of Baba Yaga were you girls?" Noriko yelled and fastened at her kimono belt. "We were just going to start calling in the clients WITHOUT YOU NUTTERS."

Virgo and Liv quickly set off, ignoring Noriko's death glare. Virgo emerged from the living room with tomboyish clothes on; a pair of baggy pants and a magenta Madidas t-shirt, while Liv had the same clothes on. 

"I got two guys' phone numbers on me, already." Virgo said and winked at the four watching her. It was highly unusual of her to talk to people let alone get their phone numbers. Perhaps she might have been improving in her social skills. She was the extremely shy and quiet type who had strangely started loving to talk to people.

"I've told you guys about my best friend, right? I think of confessing my love to him." Liv said, and paused to capture her chaps' reactions. She grinned and lifted her black-rimmed glasses when all of them showed her a thumbs-up.

~

The night ended with the Witches hatching a plan for Halloween. Their boss was away to resolve some feud between a few wizards in the adjoining town and they were pumped up for the thing they had always wanted to do; conjure up (basically kidnap) that actor Yubi had always eyed in the Rogue magazine. It was her idea and the others had sworn if it didn't turn out according to their expectations, Loset would burn down all the magazines Yubi had stored (actually, hidden) away and spread the word at school that Yubi was a scaredy cat. With the plan all ready, they decided to meet up on Halloween night and test their luck.

~

Noriko clicked her fingers. Soon, a huge Snickers bar appeared in the air and dropped onto her palm. Next, she swirled her forefinger at Liv's oval pendant hanging around her neck and the hollow cavity in it filled up with Noriko's favourite chocolate, Truffles Extraordinaire which happened to be the most expensive chocolate in the world. Liv squealed with joy and fiddled with her upgraded chocolate pendant. 

"Darlings, c'mon, c'mon! Let's start with kidnapping the actor, already! I'm too curious about how it's going to turn out." Yubi said.

"A-are you guys sure about this?" Virgo quietly said and looked at Yubi. "We haven't mastered this technique yet and our boss has even made it illegal for us. And you Yubi, you can find other celebrities here as well. But for the timing, why don't you just satisfy yourself with gawking at the models in the magazines, eh?" 

Yubi balled her hand into a fist and rubbed at her knuckles with the other, showing it to Virgo. Everybody chuckled at Yubi's extra-ness.

"Bruh, NO, we don’t need your Gret Lee moves here." Noriko said in between suppressed chuckles. "Anyway, let's begin."

The five of them circled around a picture of Pouis Lartridge placed in a cauldron. Noriko stepped forward and dropped in a pair of iguana eyeballs which were responsible for perfect conjuring of Pouis's eyes. Yubi and Loset stirred the yellow liquid (a babushka's puke) in the cauldron with some dried twigs and then put the twigs into the fire. Virgo placed in a bundle of gray hair responsible for Pouis's luscious and silky hair. Last but not the least, Liv dropped in some frog showpieces from the porch for extra awesomeness. They stepped back and held hands as the yellow liquid started turning purple. Their eyes shone bright as the cauldron illuminated, but they dulled just as instantly as the light in the pot diminished.

"Ehh?" Loset said, a disgusted look distorting her face. "This was supposed to WORK!"

"The thing is, there shouldn't be any living thing anywhere near the hut." Virgo said and scratched at her chin, confused herself. " Any presence will interrupt the conju-"

A knock interrupted Virgo as a tall man stepped into the shop, a certain kind of vibe surrounding him. 

"This idiot. Duh!" Noriko mumbled.

"Well-behaved women seldom make history." Liv started all of a sudden. Palms upturned, face toward the ceiling and eyes closed, she iterated the motivational quote. She loved poems and quotes of any kind. Noriko side-glared at her.

"Darling, we're closed." Yubi said and wiggled her eyebrows, pointing at the "close" sign which was actually turned toward the interior and not outside. "Sign, sign?"

The man ignored her and moved toward Noriko who had her head in her hands for some unknown reason. 

"Umm, hi! I need the Instant Love potion, Miss." 

Noriko just stared at him, taking in all his features which were…. breathtaking. She scrutinized him some more before moving to the Instant Rack, her eyebrows furrowed. She turned back to look at him grinning at her with his crooked yet, bunny teeth. She sighed and wondered if it were a curse Baba Yaga had thrown upon them. They were all conjuring up Pouis and nowhere was this guy as handsome as him. Compared to him, he was an ogre. But a little better looking than Brek. She was furious at the fact that he had interrupted their little ritual.

Noriko came back and handed over the bottle to the man. 

"Jammy. Jammy is the name." The man said to Noriko who slightly nodded her head, puzzled and wondered if anyone had asked for his name.

"Pfft!" Yubi cackled and slapped her mouth with her palm. 

As Noriko was busy entering the prices of the stuff Jim-Jam had bought on the monitor, the three except Virgo huddled together and gossiped about the man with the appealingly unappealing name. Virgo sat on her stool in the corner and typed away at the screen, probably texting the two strangers.

"My, my, look at his hair." Loset pointed at the man's hair. It had been pulled back and greased too excessively. They pondered if he had used up all the vegetable oil too which was really stupid. 

Jammy had a little nose, a mole just in between the nostrils: his nose hair was too visible, a few strands hung out his nostrils and flirted away each time he took in deep breaths and exhaled. Specks of gray scattered in his gorgeous hazel eyes.

"Do you want me to kick the shit out of him? It'll be my pleasure." Yubi said.

"No, not yet," Liv said and fixed her eyes on Jammy.

"Ew, don't tell me you like cucumber Jam." Yubi exclaimed and pinched her nose bridge. 

Silence greeted Yubi. She stuck her tongue out at Liv who showed her the whites of her eyes in return.

Going back to Noriko, she had been blabbering about jacking up the potion prices to Jammy who seemed to be engrossed in her words, batting his eyelids, leaning against the table and tilting his head, resting it on his palm as if trying to get a better look of her features. Noriko blushed as their eyes met, it was like one of the flattering moments from Tride And Trejudice. She thought they would make a weird, yet interesting couple. She coughed at how far her thoughts had proceeded. 

Jammy was about to leave when a slipper came flying at him. It slapped him right in the face and left an impression of the grip of the sole on his cheek. 

"You will go nowhere before you tell me who that instant potion is for." Virgo said, sort of challenging him to see what kind of "loved one" he had much better than her. And technically, she wanted his phone number.

Rosy hue flushed Jammy's cheeks and he scratched at his nape. "Uh… it's, emm-"

"Pickle! I mean, Jammy, hurrry!." Liv said. 

"Ugh, whatever! It's Noriko." 

The shop filled with shouts of different frequencies. Virgo sat at the corner, her lips contorted into a pout. Liv was enjoying the chaos that prevailed in the room, but was actually cringing a little; Yubi was at the verge of pouncing on Jammy and Loset's hands were an inch away from snatching away at her hair. Meanwhile, Noriko's jaws dropped open as she stared at Jammy, astonished. 

"Are you out of your mind?! You okay, right?" Loset bawled to which Jammy nodded his head a little.

"Ah, I'll just collect the receipts." 

Before Jammy could even take a step forward, a body came plunging at him all of a sudden causing him to practically fly across the room and drop against a table decorated with an assortment of potions.

It was Yubi. She'd had enough of madcap Jam.

 A bottle tumbled over and dropped beside Jammy's feet. A gray coloured gas floated out of it. It was so fragrant, Jammy had to sniff at it. He scrunched his nose and slowly, it wiggled, starting to take the form of an entirely different shape. A big, fat nose popped out; his eyes shifted closer to each other and most importantly, his dark skin sagged and wrinkles lined his face. His height that would have been ideal for other men began to shorten and his back hunched. His legs shook like weak and thin branches that swayed in the wind. 

"What in the world?" Noriko uttered and stared at Jammy.

Yubi and Loset were dumbfounded, but couldn't control their outbursts. Virgo was about to shed tears and Liv was enjoying herself ever since Jammy had stepped foot into the shop. Liv walked over to Jammy and looked at the bottle, Reversia. 

Jammy looked at the witches and opened his toothless mouth. "Hello, ladies!"

The Halem Witches' night ended with kicking old hag Jammy out of the shop.