Cute stop from the cold

"Probably you have a pet in this cozy place?"- I then asked while looking over at the snow falling softly from the sky. It was a sunny day in the Cotswolds, but definitely cold. I was glad we had a break from it inside the café. I looked back at Staniliya and she smiled at me fondly. I could wonder. Or was it ,,hope" the better word I was searching for.

" I do. I have a brown cat. Her name is Lily."

" Oh. I have to see her. For sure!" - I was so enthusiastic but I was pushing my luck. Demanding a second..date? Too risky if I might say.

" You can. The invite for a coffee at my place still stays. And then we can use the energy for a little travel trip with me showing you my favourite places around. Thinking about it, how much time are you gonna spend here?"

" Oh, well, with my friends we are thinking about spending Christmas and even New Years Eve here, apparently at one of your hotels."- I winked at her. It was still unbelievable for me that I got to meet her yet again in my life, and it was such pure luck that our lives connected like that- my close friend Linda booking a simple cozy, definitely festive place for us to stay, and it suddenly being Staniliya's workplace and a property. I gotta thank the universe for this. But I will have more time later when I am back in my hotel room that I met the love of my life again, I had the extraordinary chance to meet her again after thinking it was long lost chance, thinking it was only one time and I had spent it and lost it all because the party that we met on was because another friend of mine invited me to her Christmas company's party and I had to leave the love of my life because my friend Esme wasn't feeling well.

Now I was looking with my own blue eyes into her brown ones. I wasn't gonna let her go, that I knew. I didn't know a lot of things, a lot of questions swirled inside my brain but I had a chance again and I wasn't gonna leave anything to be ,,What if?", no, I was gonna try. Maybe even be her friend, maybe that would be enough.

"You definitely go places inside your precious brain." - Staniliya was smiling at me but she shouldn't. Not when I know what I feel, what I've been feeling the last two weeks day and night. It was wrong. God, we are in 2025, the end of it, but it was still wrong inside many people's heads.

"I, I'm deeply sorry. It's not on purpose nor you have a fault. It's just, I don't know if you could call it precious, but my brain is definitely creative. It wanders and wanders to infinite places and ideas. The thoughts, they don't stop. "

" I would love to be somehow a part of this intrusion of thoughts as you would call it then. "

" Oh, you are, I mean, gosh, I mean I just told you there was invasion of thoughts that left you alone for who knows how long until you called me back."- I laughed. Was that a good save? The snow somehow had started falling faster, more prominent, I could barely see the view outside anymore.

" Drink your coffee, love, it's gonna get cold and we don't want that, do we?"

Uhm, love? Am I blushing? I am, right? Gosh, I am such an embarassment or a mistake. Why is my brain such a whirl of negative thoughts when outside is so cozy and pretty all in fluffy snow, and here with all of the candles with some musk in their scent and the dimmed lights and all the Christmas lights literally put everywhere- it was beautiful, but never inside my brain.

" How is the coffee or do I need to beat Lyle's ass up if it's not sweet enough?"

" No, no, the coffee tastes incredible. You are already winning me with this place. I could only wonder what else you could show me."

" A lot, love." - is all she responded with. What did she mean? What that meant? Or is it my imagination? My ugly imagination turning simple answers into something ..well.. ugly. I would let her show me everything and anything. My poor heart swelled in warmth inside my chest and it wasn't the warmth of the coffee, it was what I was feeling towards this woman. As another woman who feels the whole universe inside her chest while looking at another woman. That is how I could explain what I feel. The whole of the Earth, all the other balls of cosmic energy and dust, and just the whole milky way and even beyond that- all of this inside my small chest. All while looking at her.

" What was your first impression of me?" - I suddenly wondered and already asked. If I could turn back my question I would. I was too afraid. Always, always too afraid to act out on anything at all.

" Good question. Well. That you are the opposite of me. You are gentle and pretty, and I am sure even stronger than me even though you look like a fairy out of a fairytale."

" I am absolutely sure you are stronger than me physically too and you are damn pretty too. Or you don't think so?"

I could ponder. What on this Earth? She was gorgeous, yes not like in a feminine way for a woman. But she had such intensive eyes, which can turn any human to a melted ice cream. She was build strong and she had this strong aura that she could protect anyone. She could protect me. Not like I needed protection but I wouldn't mind being loved and taken care of by her. And gosh, her smile, I could write poems and poems about it.

" No, I mean.. well.. not as pretty as you, far from it."

" Sh. Don't talk silly. Don't compare. We are just pretty in our own way."

" I bet all men are hitting on you constantly."

How do I tell her I don't need that? Never needed that. I've never felt what I feel towards her. How do I tell her that a man's attention scares me? How do I tell her that I am a woman who feels for another one? Back to the question...

" Well, I am not sure how I can answer that, or speak on it. It's just no one has ever interested me.. that is before.. I mean yeah.. not interested. "

" You mean to tell me what exactly?"

What was that look on her face? A disgust? Pure horror of who apparently I am? That I was a woman insterested in a woman. That was important. Just one and only woman. Nothing else. No one else ever. Did it seem like that by my answer? That I am not interested in men? Did I want that revelation out in our just evolving relationship? We were barely friends. But I knew I couldn't simply live like that. What I feel can't be onesided. Please, God, let it not be onesided. Let it be mutual.

" I mean... I haven't been even kissed?" - it came more as a question. But it was a fact. Her hands dropped on the table with a sound and laughter escaped her throat.

" Well... it's not funny?"

" Yes, yes, I am just an idiot. Forgive me. "- she didn't need to know that all was forgiven way before anything has happened. - " I just can't grasp the concept of no one being able to kiss you. Like what? I mean it's kind of understandable knowing men nowadays. What is your favourite fruit?"

" What is that now?"- I laughed out loud. That was so random. But kind of I needed it because the thoughts I was getting of her kissing me were getting out of hand.

" You are just all red in the cheeks, your cheeks look like two cherries. "- she smiled at me all calmly. Like my appearance didn't even affect her. Like she didn't say I am a pretty woman. Okay. We will test out the waters.

" I love melons and blackberries, and especially jam made of blackberries, it's so yummy it's like I still feel it on my lips. "- I licked my plump lips, no more feeling a gloss on them, and followed her gaze, which YES landed exactly there. It means only one thing right, especially when it stays locked there for more than a second. Yep, definitely means something or I just wish for us both to be wrong, both of us to be weird and not like the rest. Can't we?

" What about you?"

" Hm?"

Gosh, can she not be any more sexier? Someone gotta come and save me. No, I was joking. Better not anyone disrupt this peace I feel.

" Fruit? Your favourite fruit?"

" Ah, yes, you are kind of a distracting woman."

Do I say something? What? I, I? Gosh, I need to stop being afraid and go for it. Go deep in the ocean, deeper and deeper and find myself. Even though for finding myself I don't need anyone but myself but here we go I find meaning in her existence.

" I love kiwi, cherries"- she winked at me, I did not imagine this, but just in case I pinched my arm, oww, that hurt. - " and I do love melons even though it's winter and probably now you wanna eat them but you can't. "

She was thoughtful of my needs.

" Well I kind of need something more right now."

Oops, where did that come from?

" What in example?"

Do I play with fire? Do I?

Maybe not right now. Fear still consumes my being.

" I need love, I crave love, I breathe for love." - still the truth. Just not entirely. But close to it, so I was happy with my answer.

Suddenly looking outside it was like the snow had stopped for a bit. Just like the time here seemed like it was at least slowed down. It's like here nothing else existed but just us two. In a cozy small town café, staying inside while outside was getting colder and colder as the sun was going down the horizon.