'Till Death

God, if you are real and help me get out of here alive, I swear I’ll stop watching those sexy clown videos when I’m supposed to be working. I sent my silent prayer to the sky and crossed myself for good measure. Then I hoisted myself up and over through the broken window of a mud room that was connected to the main living quarters of the cult I had narrowly escaped from a month earlier.

Kim had already forged ahead after graciously breaking the window with a large rock and was crouched by the door of the mud room waiting for me. I crept up behind her as silently as I could and whispered her name, but either she didn’t hear me or was ignoring me because she made no attempt to respond.

Did she see something?

Did we come in the wrong way?

“Okay,” she took a steadying breath, “this is it. This is the last thing I got to do then I’m done,” she glanced towards my direction, “I promise.”

“Are you sure about this?” I whispered, trying my best to sound brave, but my voice was wavering. “I mean, we don’t have to be here,” I moved back towards the window, “what are you trying to—”

Kim was hunched by the threshold of the utility room door, a war of emotions playing out across her features and her eyes shifted between being on the edge of tears to fierce conviction. I froze, not knowing how to respond. I considered trying to convince her to leave her grandmothers necklace behind, realistically it had probably already been sold or repurposed already. But before I could utter a word there was a cheering from the next room that pierced our veil of silence.

In the kitchen the mess detail had just finished cleaning the dishes for the night and apparently had taken a bit longer to complete their tasks. I paused at the doorway peering around to see four acolytes huddled around one side of the room staring at the ground, all their attention focused on the ivory dice that had just left the hand of the shortest one among them.

“All we need to do is—”

Suddenly, a wave of nausea rushed through my body and it took everything I had to keep the sick from projecting from my body. The cocktail that the coyote used to knock us out so before he smuggled us into the compound had apparently still not worn off and I could feel it weighing my body down. I was about to turn to check on Kim and see if she was feeling the same why but noticed she was no longer in the utility room.

Frantically I searched for her worried that she had been discovered only to find her walking purposely for the mess hall door. She never was one to wait for opportunity and always chose to do things her way. But she was obviously feeling some way because she was shivering as she finally made it to the mess hall. I braced myself for anything and followed after her.

***

Sunlight gilded the entire amusement park before me, and I lost sight of my date for just a moment when the light reflected of the side of the nearest roller coaster. As the sun spots in my vision faded I found her. She was already halfway towards the funnel cake stand oblivious to the fact she had left me behind.

Man she’s fast, I thought and broke into a grin running to try to catch up to her. It had been like this all day though; the moment I got comfortable in one part of the park she was already off to the next attraction. My friends said it was “classic Gemini aura” and that I was being such a “Pisces about it.” Still, I couldn’t help but feel like I was the wheel that needed to be greased to keep up with the rest.

“You sure you want to eat that before we get on the Rattler?” I asked finally reaching her spot in line. I tried to subtly raise my arms above my head to open up my airwaves, note to self: start working out, and quietly caught my breath to avoid looking like the pudgy middle-aged man I was. This was only our third date and I couldn’t help but notice, even though we were the same age, my wild choices as a young rolling stone were definitely catching up to me in the worst way.

“Scared your gonna chuck it up?” Kim laughed. It was the most beautiful sound in the world. Her laugh sounded like when a DJ created the perfect mix between two of your favorite songs and caused you to feel a surge of happiness when they dropped it. That laugh could convince me to jump off the edge of the world if she wanted to. I was done for.

“I’m just making sure you will be ok,” I responded and held up two fingers for the vendor, “we’ll take two.” With a nod a few deft movements we had two plates of fried dough drenched in white powder weighing down flimsy disks of Styrofoam in our hands.

We began our stroll towards the worlds oldest wooden roller coaster talking about past lives and lovers. Her parents were products of the Free love movement of the 70’s and mine were stiff Reaganites. She grew up free and happy while I was taught to know all of the exits in every room I entered, a habit I still carried today, but somehow we meshed.

As we neared closer and closer towards the Rattler my anxiety began to rise with each step. My throat would tighten a little bit more with each step I took towards the coaster and my heart began pumping more blood out. I tried to regulate my breathing without letting on that I was nervous but Kim caught on immediately. She reached out and laced her fingers between mine. I looked towards her and noticed the mischievous glint in the corner of her eye just before she pulled me away towards the entrance.

***

Thankfully we made it through the kitchen and the mess hall without being noticed and we were now approaching the central hub of the compound that served as entry way to all the points of the building. This was were our little mission would succeed or fail.

Kim stood in the center of the rotunda seemingly awestruck.

“Decision time love,” I slipped my hand into hers and tried to lace our fingers together when she jerked way violently.

“The hell,” she looked at me confused her other hand clutching the one I had tried to grab, “freaking hell,” she said once more as she shook her head a couple of times and turned back towards the hallways leading from the rotunda still trying to get her bearings.

“I got this,” she said alarmingly angry, “I just need to remember which one leads to the ascendant living quarters, that’s all,” she began to chew the cuticles of her nails trying to decide which way to go.

“You didn’t even get to spend one night with the other ascendants,” I said baffled, “why do we need to go down there?” It was insane to even come back to this compound at all but now we are just being stupid. I moved in front of her and pointed down the hallway to my left, “this is were the acolyte side of the place is,” I pointed to a different hallway, “that’s the ascendants side, let’s do what we came to do and get out before we end up on the news again”

Kim scoffed and cursed the ceiling, “why did you make it all so complicated Ray?”

“What did I do?” I threw my hands up in exasperation, if anything she should be kissing my ass. I was the one who got us out of this shit hole in the first place. I was the one who came forward so the DA could bring charges against on our “fearless leader”. I was the one risking more than death if we got caught, these assholes would torture me slowly for revenge than kill me.

The room was eierliey quiet as Kim seemed to have an epiphany. With a soft smile on her face that contrasted against vacant eyes she cooed “Don’t worry love, I will fix everything,” and she took off once again without waiting for me.

***

“I never want to drink again,” I groaned as I leaned once again over the bowl of the toilet in Kim’s apartment. This was the culmination of a long night fueled by cheap whiskey and, surprisingly high quality, karaoke. Unfortunately, in my attempt to serenade my date, and apparently half of the bar as well. I was now puking up my intestines praying to a God that I didn’t even believe existed.

“That’s your fault, but don’t you worry love, I’ll fix everything” Kim giggled as she sashayed into the bathroom and kneeled to rub my back while I tried to catch my breath, “But it was also kind of cute, especially when you tried to sing all the parts of that Boyz II Men song by yourself.”

“I pulled it off though,” I began to reprise my performance, “I’ll be there for—”

Embarrassment racked my body as the sick unexpectedly expelled itself from my body and sent a squealing Kim out of the bathroom.

“You’re cleaning that up.” She giggled and I heard her lay down on the bed and switch on the TV. “Alexa, play Ancient Aliens.” After a second I heard the introduction music for the documentary and knew I was alone in cleaning up my mess.

After thoroughly scrubbing every inch of porcelain, brushing my teeth before and after a shower, and taking the mentioned shower crept back into the room. The lights were out and the room was dim save for only the natural sunlight that filtered in from the eastern facing window. The morning light danced on top of her curly amber hair and continued to highlight the beautiful outline of her angelic sleeping face.

I smiled and slipped back under the covers making sure to disturb the sleeping beauty as little as possible for fear of waking her. After I successfully positioned myself back in the bed I resumed a big spoon position and pretended to be asleep as well.

“I better not smell any throw up when I go shower in a moment.” Kim said without opening her eyes still facing away from me.

“What are you talking about?” I asked with mock offense, “I haven’t even got out be yet, much less been awake long enough to do anything but love on you.” Kim didn’t respond, so convinced my plan had worked, I closed my eyes to really try and get some more sleep.

THWACK!

A pillow slapped the side of my face startling me from my pre-sleep state and before I knew it Kim was facing towards me.

“Open,” she said. I opened my mouth.

Kim took a few quick sniffs and, satisfied I had properly cleaned myself, kissed me passionately before breaking apart and getting up from the bed. She put on a silk robe and grabbed a towel from the back of the chair by her desk and seductively walked to the bathroom.

In awe, the only thing I could do was watch her close the door as I realized, I’m going to marry that woman.

***

Kim had already made it halfway down the hallway towards the Ascendents living quarters by the time I had caught up with her. She stopped suddenly in front of a non descript door and slowly opened it peering her head inside.

“Kim,” I hissed, “Kim, stop that, where do you think you’re going?” I charged towards her, “you shouldn’t go in there that’s—”

Then it hit me.

Realization hit me at the same time the simple wooden door should have hit me.

Kim ran to our fearless leader and gave him a passionate kiss and the two embraced only as lovers do after overcoming heaven and earth to be with each other. My heart tore into two, and it felt as if all happiness was crushed from my soul. It was never going to be me, she wanted to be here, I didn’t save her, I kidnapped her.

“The poison worked just the way you said it would,” Kim sighed and put her head in his chest, “Raymond went to sleep and just never woke up.”

“It was for the best. His soul was not ready for the salvation of the supreme one,” our leader grabbed Kim’s hand and stared into her eyes, “he doesn’t matter anymore, it’s just us now.”

The funny thing about being dead is that you never really notice that you are until it’s pointed out to you. The funnier thing is that when you’re a ghost your unfinished business is determined by your subconscious and isn’t always rational. What isn’t funny is the fact I have to spend the rest of my afterlife watching these two.