I Can't Lose You...

3 years ago

“Hey, it’s Mother’s Day,” my brother said, facing me.

“Okay…? So…?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to ride with me to her house.” He smashed his fingers together pleadingly, looking at my eyes. “Please, I’ll owe you. I know I just got a car but-”

I sighed. “Save it, Carlos. You can go yourself. I’m kind of busy.”

“Promise me you’ll FaceTime her tonight?”

“I promise, lil bro. Now go ahead. Tell her Happy Mother’s Day for me, alright?”

“Sure.” He nodded at me, tilting his navy blue cap. He grabbed his hoodie from a hook next to the front door and waved. The sun peeked when he opened the door.

“Bye, bro.”

“Cya, Kaylie.”

I really wanted to go with him, but that day was his birthday. I was knitting a gift for him. But what happened that day?

Exactly June 25th, at 10:29 PM…

He was gone.

I love staring at the same picture every day, the perfect picture of us three; Mom, Carlos, and me. Not Dad, though. He was the reason my mother was heartbroken and pale for months. He was the broken glass in the frame.

Sometimes I wish that when I touch his face in the picture, he would come alive. Then for the rest of the day, I wait for a knock on the door, not from the pizza delivery man, but from him. I want him to holler as loud as he can, saying, “I’m home!” I miss it. And on top of that, he died on his birthday. That just made it worse. I wanted to see the smile on his face when I knitted his hoodie and his scarf.

Then there was the news. Many say it was an accident, but some whisper it was a drunk driver. I believe it was an accident. The drunk driver was never shown in the pictures, so I don’t think he existed.

One day, I feel like I’ll lose everyone. My dad was crossed off the list several years ago, my brother long gone for three years. I’m afraid my mother would be next. Or maybe even me.

Either way, we were both still alive. I want to stay like that forever.

“Carlos,” I whimper out loud. “I…I-I still have the hoodie I was supposed to give you years ago for your birthday. I’d never forgotten it. I wish I can hand it to you now…”

I want to whisper “I love you,” but I don’t have the energy to. I don’t want to feel like crying.

Next Day

I mope around my bed with my legs crossing. I was going to watch a movie but was hung back by a call.

“Hello?” I say. On the other end, there was a cough.

“Uh, who’s this?” I ask. It sounds like someone was choking. I raise my eyebrow. “If this is a prank call, I will call the police.”

“H-hon (cough), this is your mom (cough cough). Can you buy some cough drops or lozenges in the market today and drop them off at my place? I (cough), I’m having a sore throat.” Her voice was ragged and dry.

My heart practically flips. “Yeah, I will…” I say anxiously. “Mom, will you be okay?”

“What? Of course (cough)! Just a little cough, nothing to worry. You can bring the medicine anytime today.”

“I-I...Okay, Mom. Stay safe.”

“You too, Kaylie!” She hangs up.

I think about staying here for another ten minutes to watch a little bit of my favorite show. But I think of Dad. Then Carlos. I decide I don’t want to risk anything. So I grab my keys, and run out of the door, not bothering to take my coat. It usually takes two minutes to lock my door because I still have trouble.

Once I got it all ready, I open the car, slam the door, and start to drive to the store.

Twenty minutes later

I open the door, making sure my wallet was secured in my bag. That’s when I saw a glimpse of a familiar face fifty feet away from me.

I think I almost passed out.

Same eyes, same hair color… My eyes were going wild. No! He died years ago! You just miss him. My eyes are playing around again.

I head to the store. My eyes kept looking back at that man. He was coming this way. I stop staring in alarm and focus them in front of me.

“K-Kaylie…? You haven’t moved..?”

I jump, frightened by the familiar noise that crept in me. Gosh, that was so familiar.

“Kaylie, hello? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

I slowly turn around one hundred eighty degrees. There he was. The same face, the same green eyes, the same brown hair (or chocolate peanut butter as he used to call it). But I don’t believe it was him. He died years ago! People don’t come back to life like that. Impossible.

“Who are you?” I croak.

He raises an eyebrow. “It’s been three years, sis.”

Sis?

“Hold up,” I stop him suddenly. “I’m not your sister. My brother died years ago. In a car accident. You’re mistaking me for someone else.”

“So that’s what they told you,” he mutters. Then he says, “Oh yeah? You want me to prove I’m your brother?”

“Go ahead.”

“Alright. We literally look the same. And remember I was in a car crash three years ago? I was about to visit Mom on Mother’s Day, and I didn’t know how to drive well so I crashed. You didn’t come with me, because you said ‘I’m busy.’ It was also my birthday.”

My eyes widen. “Impossible,” I mumble. “But they told me you died! It was on the news!”

“No, I never died. The doctors thought I did because my heart almost stopped. But miraculously, I survived. Barely any chance. But I survived.

“And when they recovered from the astonishing news I was alive, they left the room. When they came back, they informed me you guys moved with Grandma, so I lived alone. And I still do.”

“We came back…”

“Yeah. I could see that.”

“Why did you never call me?” I cry, “Did you know that Mom is sick? She sent me here to get some medicine. And what about you? You’re just here, probably running errands for your girlfriends. What about me? Family first, you know? You never contacted me, and I bet you never tried to!” I bit my lips so hard; they turned white as my burning knuckles.

“Hold up there, Kaylie. I got a new phone after the crash. It broke badly. I also hit my head so hard, I got a little amnesia. Can you understand? But I will admit this is my fault too. I honestly wanted to spend some time alone. I’m sick that I still live with Mom, even though I’m old enough to live alone. Even you have your own apartment.”

“That’s because your lazy ass won’t get up to find a job!”

“Can we please stop arguing? This is the middle of a street, and didn’t you say Mom was sick?”

Oh no. I had to run.

“And,” he continues. He makes a familiar gesture, pounding his hands together. “Can I come with you?”

I look at him in his sparkly eyes. He looks apologetic, miserable, and regretful. I’m still angry at him that he didn’t come to us. I was mistaken all along! To think he was dead. But he was family, and I never let down family.

“Fine. I’ll give you another chance.”

“Thanks, sis! But anyway, what were you going to give me for my birthday? If-if you remembered…”

“Bro, I don’t forget birthdays. I’ll show you when we’re home. Now let’s help Mom.” I guess he was surprised I still have his present to give him three years ago, but the look on my face must have told him we need to hurry. I didn’t want to lose Mom too.

Not after what I’ve gone through. I can't lose her too.