Dee-Dee Wakes Up Differently

Dee-Dee strode up to the building confidently, a real pep in the step. There were other Interests alongside, some carrying dossiers and notepads, others still with nothing at all. Amateurs, Dee-Dee thought, this is entirely too important to be so lax about. Dee-Dee tried for the program last year unsuccessfully. This year, all Interests were positively giddy for the promise of a new opportunity; the program was under new leadership, and several longstanding protocols had changed since then.

Yes, so much promise.

They all filed into the auditorium where banners of the new Director were stood on opposite ends of the stage. Every seat was full, each Interest excitedly chattering to the ones beside them. Dee-Dee didn’t want to draw any attention and sat as far back as possible alongside some Interests who looked like they were diligently recording their thoughts. Good, Dee-Dee thought, my kind of neighbor. The dossier Dee-Dee held opened and pamphlet fell out; it had the same photo as the banners on stage of the new program director, Stu, pointing out – his eyes following around the room at whomever was looking. Other Interests offered banter and color commentary about the banners on stage.

“Stu will take us forward,” and “it is so exciting to do away with the old fashion of things,” and “No more random selection” were some of the abrupt but shared sentiments yelled toward the stage of the auditorium.

Dee-Dee was excited to know other Interests felt the same but some of the original shine wore off when the interests who originally made Dee-Dee’s seat selection attractive were now passing notes from their open writing pads. Disappointing, Dee-Dee’s lips turned downward, they’re not so like minded after all. Dee-Dee thumbed through the visibly well-read pamphlet to find a favored quote from Stu. “In the past, Interests were sent off with no preparation – and NO say. With this new protocol, the interests of Interests will come first.”

Imagine, Dee-Dee’s bottom lip tucked behind front top teeth grinning in excitement, my interests taken seriously on such a delicate matter. Dee-Dee squeezed the pamphlet and let out a small squeal of excitement. “Someone’s eager,” the note-passing Interests mocked, “we are all in the same boat, tone it down a little.”

They don’t remember, but I do.

It had been over a century, but the moment was seared into Dee-Dee’s mind – the first time billions of Interests came into consciousness at once, all clamoring over one another through more than a dozen iterations of the program, charging forward in the hope of finding purpose, choice, opportunity. Dee-Dee bided time, wasn’t ready, needed a moment – reticent, cautious, meek. This new protocol had promise and Dee-Dee was finally ready to grasp all of it in full.

Stu stepped on stage and uproarious applause filled the room. The note-passers clapped slowly while rolling their eyes, feigning interest with a weakly pronounced “yay.” Dee-Dee was standing, whooping, and hollering excitedly, possessed and newly enthused. Stu waved his hand and stepped toward the microphone to speak. A hush fell over the crowd.

“Today is the day, dear Interests: the beginning of a new protocol – no, a new era – the hallmark of which is the omission of random selection. You have all waited patiently to know what will happen with this new protocol and now… I will tell you. Gone – gone are the days when administrators chose who would go forward. Now, every willing Interest in this room will receive an interview. That’s right – all of you could find exactly what you’ve been looking for TODAY!”

A murmur of disbelief floated through the auditorium, but Dee-Dee would not miss this chance.

“I’m ready!”

Dee-Dee leapt up and ran toward the stage.

“I’m ready. Right now.”

Stu looked down and smiled. “And so it begins!”

The Interests looked to one another and suddenly broke into a cheer. It was finally happening. Dreams were about to come true. A staff member ran off stage to grab Dee-Dee and they walked up the stairs together, behind the stage, to a back office. Dee-Dee took a glance back as Interests were organized in lines and smiled quietly. We are all going to make it. The staff member sat Dee-Dee down and merely said, “Stu will be with you shortly” before running off. Alone, Dee-Dee paused to take in the gravity of the moment and opened the dossier one more time. Every note and thought from the past 100 years, scrawled across pages and pages until finally, last year, Dee-Dee could name a purpose – a raison d’être.

“It takes a long time to know what you truly want,” Stu spoke up breaking the silence in the room. “Are you sure you’re ready?”

Dee-Dee didn’t flinch. “I’m ready.”

Stu sat opposite Dee-Dee behind a large wooden desk with a marble top. “Okay, lay it on me. What is it you want more than anything else?”

“I want to be a dancer.”

Stu slapped the desktop gently. “Done. Easy. What else?”

Dee-Dee hesitated. “Well, honestly, that’s all I’ve thought of for the last century. I think it was the first thought I ever had.”

“I see,” Stu leaned back in his chair, his fingers tapping the area just below his nose. “What about this profile?”

He held his hand up and a small sheet of paper appeared. He brought it down and held it up for Dee-Dee to see.

“Mmm, I am not certain about this part – I don’t want to be pushed in a scientific direction.”

“Yes, yes – but opposites can attract!” Stu pushed.

“You’re not wrong. Maybe we can try –”

“This?” Stu showed Dee-Dee a second profile.

“Oh,” Dee-Dee paused again. This was certainly different to the last protocol, but much more daunting. Dee-Dee felt ready in the auditorium. Now, with the choice laid out so plainly, it seemed… harder.

“Okay, I know you know what you want – you’ve said so. I’ve got one more profile that might fit the bill precisely for you.” Stu flourished his hand and a new paper appeared. This one seemed to shimmer in Dee-Dee’s eyes.

“Now, Dee-Dee, you should know before you go. This profile is –”

“Perfect.”

“Well, hold on, you should know –”

“It’s perfect. I’ll take it.”

“Okay, if you could just sign here, please. And then I will have you step into the next room.”

Dee-Dee scribbled “D.D.” across the ticket-like sheet and went to the next room. There was a small white bed and a pillow, a very simple set-up. Stu stood in the doorway.

“You’re going to lay there and close your eyes. I’m going to put your signed profile into this slot here. When you wake up, you will walk in your glorious purpose.”

Dee-Dee turned and, through teary eyes, whispered, “thank you.” It had been a long wait. The door closed and so did Dee-Dee’s eyes. It was dark and no time at all seemed to pass in Dee-Dee’s sleep. It had been a while since the last time Dee-Dee slept, snoozing away in the quiet. Dee-Dee dreamt through a fourth pirouette when a loud rushing wind and a heavy downpour roused Dee-Dee from sleep and the whole room was soaked to the bone. Dee-Dee stood up. There was a small pressure and, suddenly, the floor fell below and Dee-Dee began screaming. “Ah!” Dee-Dee yelled, eyes struggling to open. “OW!”

“Look at your beautiful baby boy,” a voice said.

“Wait, baby?!” Dee-Dee yelled. “This isn’t right! No! No!”

Someone wiped Dee-Dee’s face, and the sharp, abrupt poke of a few needles signaled vaccinations. Through a quick series of movements, Dee-Dee was moved around the room learning something every step of the way.

“Wow, 20 inches long – look at those legs!”

“Seven pounds and eight ounces, so a very healthy weight.”

“Aw, he’s got mom’s brown eyes.”

“No!” Dee-Dee yelled.

“And very strong lungs,” laughed the obstetrician, who pulled his mask off for the first time. “Perhaps you’ve got a singer on your hands.”

“We are big in the arts in our family,” the woman reached out to Dee-Dee. Her hands were warm, comforting. Dee-Dee stopped yelling. “Hopefully, he will dance like his father,” she said, in a low, hushed voice. “Won’t you, love?”

A nurse came over and in a quiet voice said, “I know he would be here with you if he could.”

The woman cried softly and leaned in, her nose touching the new baby’s. “Your father would have loved to see you dance.”

Dee-Dee sobbed. I would have loved to see it, too.

The woman held Dee-Dee close and suddenly things didn’t seem quite so bad. The obstetrician came around and looked over the woman’s shoulder.

“Thank you, Dr. Stuart, he’s perfect,” she breathed, as Dee-Dee closed his eyes to nurse.

“Oh, you’re quite welcome,” Stu smiled at baby Dee-Dee, “but you did all of the work.”