An Uncle's Eulogy

“Well I’m serious, fuck this guy. Honestly, I didn’t even like this guy and I’m crying. He sucked and was a racist piece of shit” Megan said. “I spent the last ten years of my life actively avoiding him but now I have to write his eulogy?”

“I mean, you can just tell her no.” said Harry as he glanced at his watch.

“Oh no, I’m not going to be the one that gets talked about at Christmas for the next ten years because my Aunt can no longer face the Priest because no one wanted to show up for her or her asshole husband and say a few nice words at his funeral.”

Harry shifted side to side and tapped his hands against the side of his leg. “Well, then I’m really sorry you’re crying over someone in your life you never liked. I think the world would be a kinder place if we all could be so lucky at the end of our lives. To have people mourn even if we don’t deserve it. Imagine it.” Harry stood still for a moment reflecting on his choice of words. He took a deep breath and wiped his hands down his face and then leaned down to get his backpack and laptop from the bed.

“Look, I love you babes but I have to go, I’m going to be late.”

“Go - you’re being too much of a Gemini for me to handle right now.”

He bent over and kissed the top of her head. “It’s why you love me. I’ll text you when I wrap up my class.”

Alone in her room she took a few deep breaths and stared at her ceiling. A few minutes passed and she turned over to her bedside table and grabbed her phone to check the time. 7:00PM.

“The sooner I do this, the sooner I can get back to my show.” She said to no one. She stood up and wrapped her blanket around head and walked to her kitchen to make some tea.

Why did his life matter? Why does life matter? She stared at the bubbles in her electric kettle as they started to move and rise to the top.

Maybe, start with something a little less existential. Why am I doing this? Really? She rubbed her finger over the chip in the handle of her cup. It hurt a little.

She decided it’s for her dad and uncle. If she can say some nice things that help them through the day, that’s as good a reason as any. They might have not gotten along for some time but living with people bonds you, it’s stupid but it just does. But why she felt the need to resolve that for them, she didn’t know.

She sat down back on her bed and pulled out a notebook and reached for her cat who was snuggled in the pillows. She did what all writers before her did and tried her best to articulate what she was feeling. And the first question was based in all human notions, what his life meant to her? The answer was stupid and it was everything. It was how her life came to be. It was because this man, that she didn’t even like, in a time when she wasn’t even here, was hot. Some call it the butterfly effect, she'd call it the sweaty man effect.

One summer day, Hugh couldn’t take the heat anymore in the city so he drove south. He was overwhelmed with the heat of the summer and the weight of a wife who was dying so he took a drive.

And because he took a drive, it changed everything. He found a home where he could take his ailing wife and soon followed his younger brother. They lived five minutes away from one another and never spoke but the trajectory it sent her life on was out of her control.

She grew up in a family she never chose, in a home she never chose, in a town she never chose but she made her own decisions that shaped her life. She decided how to value education, who were her friends and more importantly who were her boyfriends. She chose where and what she wanted to study. She chose how she wanted to live and treat her neighbors. She chose how she wanted to show up in the world in the face of racists.

She chose all of it and she chose none of it and simply in the wake of living we find the value of it.

Hugh Walsh was a man who ….

Hugh Walsh was a Walsh through and through. He came off confident and the life of the party, and arguably very suspicious at times but was a sensitive person without many ways to express it. The first time he met my nephew it was just us in the room and I saw him tear up and looked at me and said, “It’s been a long time since I’ve held one of these.” With that, I knew he understood the power children bring to the dynamics of families.

He cared for my Aunt for many years while she was sick and he cared for her mother for many more years after that. He changed my life forever. He moved to a town to care for Diana, and we soon followed to that town where my life unfolded into what it is. And without his choice I wouldn’t be where I am today and I can say that on behalf of my siblings as well. He was a tough person but one I’m grateful for. He’s a reminder that there’s value in all our lives and just by just being. He’s both a reminder to be better, to love one another, and to just do.

Megan checked her phone again - 8:43PM. She wiped the last tear from her now soddened face. She ran her fingers through her hair. “Seriously, fuck this guy!”