Return to Sender

Return to Sender

LETTER 1

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 1, 14:23

Origin: New York, NY | June 15, 2047

Postage: 3 chronos

Dear Ms. Rollins,

I hope this letter finds you well. I'm writing regarding a copy of my book, Traveling the Timeline, which I understand you currently have in your possession. A mutual acquaintance mentioned you'd borrowed it to help with some travel planning.

I'm delighted it's proving useful!

However, I find myself in the awkward position of needing it back rather urgently. I have an old college friend who's requested to review it before publication, and I'm afraid I've rather stupidly lent out my only copy.

Would you be able to return it at your earliest convenience? I'd be happy to arrange a meeting that best fits your schedule.

With appreciation,

J.R. Smith

LETTER 3

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 3, 09:47

Origin: Chicago, IL | March 8, 1984

Postage: 3 chronos

Dear J.R. Smith,

Thank you for your letter! I'm so sorry about the inconvenience. Your book has been absolutely wonderful. The chapter on Renaissance Venice alone has convinced me to add it to our honeymoon itinerary.

I completely understand you need it back, but I'm afraid the timing is terrible. I'm getting married in three weeks and I'm currently drowning in seating charts, vendor contracts, and a mother-in-law who has OPINIONS about centerpieces. Could I possibly hang onto it for another couple of months? I promise I'll return it right after the honeymoon.

Best regards,

Jenna Rollins

LETTER 4

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 8, 16:55

Origin: New York, NY | June 15, 2047

Postage: 3 chronos + 0.5 chrono rush fee

Dear Ms. Rollins,

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding! How exciting.

I hate to press, but the situation has become somewhat more urgent. My colleague is leaving for an extended research trip and really does need to see the book before she goes.

Perhaps we could arrange a meeting? I could collect it from you personally. Postemporal Services offers excellent coordination for this sort of thing. You simply tell me when and where you'll be, and I can arrange to be there.

Again, my apologies for the inconvenience during such a busy time.

Regards,

J.R. Smith

LETTER 5

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 11, 20:33

Origin: Las Vegas, NV | March 20, 1997

Postage: 3 chronos

J.R.,

Fine. Yes. Let's do that. I can meet you at the Starbucks on Michigan Avenue, April 2nd at 2:00 PM. I'll be the frazzled woman with fabric swatches and probably some frosting in her hair.

This actually works out. I have a dress fitting at 3:30 nearby.

See you then,

Jenna

LETTER 6

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 15, 11:42

Origin: Las Vegas, NV | April 2, 1997

Postage: 3 chronos + 1.5 chrono emergency routing fee

Ms. Rollins,

I arrived at the Starbucks on Michigan Avenue at precisely 2:00 PM on April 2nd as instructed.

The problem, however, is there is no Michigan Avenue in Las Vegas in 1997. I attempted to find you at the bridal shop but, there are approximately forty-seven bridal shops within a five-mile radius of the Strip, and I spent three hours checking every single one I could find.

I have come to the conclusion that you meant another location and possibly even another date.

Ms. Rollins, when arranging meetings across time, LOCATION includes both PLACE and WHEN. If you'd read to chapter 17 of the book you're borrowing, you'd know this is literally the first rule of temporal coordination.

Please provide complete coordinates for our next attempt: City, specific address, date, AND year.

With diminishing patience,

J.R. Smith

LETTER 7

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 18, 08:15

Origin: Rome, Italy | April 5, 1475

Postage: 3 chronos

J.R.,

Oh my God. I am SO sorry.

I forgot I was writing from the bachelorette party, which took place in Vegas.

I already did the fitting three days ago and the dress is perfect, in case you were wondering. My fiancé Tom cried when he saw the Polaroid my sister showed him (which he wasn't supposed to see, but that's a whole other thing).

Look, I really am sorry about the mix-up. Can we try this again? I'll be much clearer this time.

How about we meet at Stonehenge in Wiltshire. October 1, 2001 (see, I'm learning!), 10:00 AM.

I cannot stay long as I have to attend the rehearsal dinner.

Sincerely apologetic,

Jenna Rollins

(Well, Jenna Rollins-Smith by then, actually. Tom wants to hyphenate!)

LETTER 8

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 24, 14:07

Origin: Stonehenge, Wiltshire | October 1, 2001 AD

Postage: 3 chronos + 2 chrono historical period surcharge

JENNA.

I ARRIVED AT STONEHENGE AT APPROXIMATELY 10:00 AM AND YOU WERE NOWHERE TO BE FOUND.

I CIRCLED THE STONES SEVERAL TIMES AND WAS EVENTUALLY ESCORTED OFF THE PROPERTY FOR “SUSPICIOUS BEHAVIOR.” APPARENTLY WANDERING AROUND ANCIENT MONUMENTS MUTTERING TO YOURSELF RAISES SECURITY CONCERNS DURING THAT SPECIFIC TIME.

IT WAS ALSO RAINING AND I GOT MY BRAND NEW SHOES MUDDY.

IF YOU ARE GOING TO ARRANGE A PLACE TO MEET, PLEASE BE PUNCTUAL.

J.R. Smith

LETTER 9

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 27, 19:23

Origin: Paris, France | April 15, 1895

Postage: 3 chronos

J.R.,

2002 BC! I meant 2002 BC!

Why on earth would I want to visit Stonehenge in 2002 AD? It's just a tourist attraction with ropes and gift shops. I wanted to see it when it actually MEANT something. When people were still using it and it was all so new!

I promise I was at that location before I had to leave for our honeymoon.

I really feel terrible about all this. Tom and I had a wonderful time in Renaissance Italy (your book was right about everything, by the way), but I'm starting to feel terrible about how much trouble this has been for you.

Where would you like to meet? You pick the place and time this round. I'll make it work, I swear.

Still apologetic,

Jenna Rollins-Smith

LETTER 10

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 31, 10:05

Origin: New York, NY | June 15, 2047

Postage: 3 chronos

Mrs. Rollins-Smith,

I appreciate the apology, but I must stress: when you write a date the default assumption is AD, as most of human civilization has taken place in AD.

This is especially critical when coordinating across the BC/AD/PTT divide. Postemporal Services defaults to AD for any ambiguous dating. It's in their terms of service. Which you'd know if you'd read chapter 17.

I'm beginning to think this book is never coming back to me.

Let's try something different. I don't think we're ever going to successfully coordinate a meeting, so let me propose this instead:

Leave the book at Riverside Park in Chicago. The bench near the old oak tree by the south entrance.

Three hours after you and Tom had your first kiss there.

I'll arrange to pick it up.

J.R. Smith

LETTER 11

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 35, 14:52

Origin: Chicago, IL | May 28, 2028

Postage: 3 chronos

J.R.,

How do you know about the kiss? We never told anyone about the kiss at the park. I'd just taken an enormous bite of a Chicago-style hot dog and had mustard on my lips when Tom leaned in. He came back with yellow on his face. I was mortified. I made him promise that we would take that humiliation to our graves.

Wait.

Wait, wait, wait.

The book. Traveling the Timeline by J.R. Smith.

Oh my God.

J.R. Smith. Jenna Rollins-Smith.

You're ME.

I'm writing to myself. I've been arguing with my future self about returning MY OWN BOOK for over a month and I didn't even realize—

This is… I don't even—

Okay. Okay, I'm going to stop panicking now.

I'll leave the book exactly where you said, exactly when you said. June 15, 1984, 5:47 PM, at our bench. It will be in a brown paper bag.

And I'm sorry. For all the mix-ups and the confusion and apparently for not reading chapter 17 even though I literally WROTE IT.

Also, I'm going to be a published author? I'm going to write this book? That's... that's incredible. I've been journaling about the wedding and the time travel planning, but I never thought—

Thank you. For telling me. Even if you didn't mean to.

I'll get you your book back. I promise.

Jenna Rollins-Smith

P.S. - Does the chapter on Renaissance Venice get better? I'm still only on 15.

LETTER 12

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 38, 09:17

Origin: New York, NY | June 16, 2047

Postage: 3 chronos

Dear Jenna,

Thank you. The book was exactly where you said it would be, right on time. My colleague was thrilled to finally receive it.

Although, I have to admit something embarrassing. After you left it there, I had a realization that made me feel incredibly stupid: I could have just traveled back to the very beginning of this whole mess and given the book to my colleague back then.

It would have avoided this entire month-long debacle.

I'm drafting a letter right now to send to you back at the beginning of all this, telling you to ignore my request entirely. That you can return the book whenever is convenient, after your honeymoon, no rush at all.

I also realized something else. Since I could go back to any point in this timeline, I was able to do something I never thought I'd get to do again.

Jenna, I went to our wedding.

I stood in the back of the church on April 20, 1984, and watched the whole thing. You were absolutely radiant. That dress was perfect, and seeing it without the panic and stress of actually being the bride was such a gift. I got to watch Tom's face when you walked down the aisle. He absolutely fell apart. Happy tears streaming down his face, his brother having to steady him.

Your mother-in-law's centerpieces were actually lovely. The pink roses with baby's breath worked beautifully. And Aunt Carol's reading during the ceremony? She nailed it, despite her nervousness.

It was the most beautiful day, Jenna. Even more beautiful than I remembered.

Yes, chapter 17 gets better. So does chapter 20. And 23. Keep going—you'll get there.

Keep writing. Keep those journals. You'll need them.

With affection across time,

J.R. Smith

LETTER 2

Postemporal Services Delivery Confirmation

RETURNED TO SENDER

Sender Temporal Stamp: Day 39, 11:33

Attempted Origin: Chicago, IL | March 1, 1984

Postage: 3 chronos + 5 chrono paradox violation fee (NON-REFUNDABLE)

POSTEMPORAL SERVICES NOTICE OF DELIVERY FAILURE

Violation Code: PTV-847 (Causality Interference)

This correspondence has been returned to sender due to violation of Postemporal Services Regulation 17.3.4(b): "Prohibition Against Timeline Alteration Via Retrospective Communication."

Your attempted delivery would have prevented the following established temporal events from occurring:

- Exchange of eleven (11) letters between J.R. Smith and Jenna Rollins/Rollins-Smith

- Temporal coordination mishaps in Las Vegas, NV (1997), Stonehenge (2002 AD), and Chicago, IL (1022 BC)

- Self-identification revelation event (Day 35)

- Secondary temporal visitation to wedding ceremony (April 20, 1984)

As these events have already occurred within the established timeline and contributed to causal chain outcomes, this communication cannot be delivered without creating a paradox loop.

Your original message has been preserved below for your records:

Dear Ms. Rollins,

Please disregard my previous letter requesting the urgent return of Traveling the Timeline. I've realized I can simply retrieve it at a more convenient time.

Take all the time you need with the book. Enjoy your wedding planning, and congratulations again.

Return it whenever works best for you.

My apologies for the unnecessary urgency.

Best regards,

J.R. Smith

For questions regarding this violation, please reference case file PTV-847-JS-JRS and contact Postemporal Services Customer Support.

Postemporal Services: "When you absolutely need it yesterday."

THE END