Working by Design

BUG-734: Preschooler countdown timer triggers action at 0.5 seconds remaining

Severity: High | Priority: P2

Steps to Reproduce

1. Issue reasonable request to Preschooler (put on shoes, pick up toys, come to table)

2. Preschooler ignores request

3. Parent initiates countdown: "I'm going to count to 5. One… Two…"

Expected Results: Preschooler begins task by count of 3.

Actual Results: Preschooler remains motionless through counts 1-4. Zero acknowledgment. At approximately 4.9 seconds, Preschooler springs into action, completing task as if it was her idea all along. In 17% of cases, Preschooler negotiates: "Wait! Just one more second!" effectively resetting the timer.

Notes

Occurs with 99.8% reliability regardless of task urgency or consequence severity. Counting faster doesn't work. Starting at 3 doesn't work. Immediate consequences result in tantrum about "not getting a chance."

Preschooler has internal timer calibrated to maximum allowable delay while avoiding consequences. Workaround unknown.

Status: Open | Pending approval to close as "Working by Design."

Related Issues:

- BUG-192: Morning routine attempts may result in total system failure

- BUG-050: Preschooler only responds "Maybe later" when prompted

BUG-999: [System Deadlock] Infinite Why Loop

Severity: Critical | Priority: P0

Steps to Reproduce

1. Talk to a Preschooler

Expected Results: Information is exchanged. Conversation concludes.

Actual Results: Stuck in infinite loop of Why questions regardless of response. 99.99% of the time, first why is followed by why that answer. Questions vary in value: "why do I have to hold your hand in the parking lot" versus "why are walls called walls." Both receive identical follow-up.

Notes

Answering only causes more questions. Attempting to distract leads to different questions. Attempting to distract with sugar resulted in Parent system deadlock being reached 37% faster.

No exit condition identified. Workaround unknown.

Status: Open | Pending approval to close as "Won't Fix." Preschooler package expected to upgrade in a few years and Parent system would need to be retrofitted regardless.

Related Issues:

- BUG-349: Preschooler has the attitude of a 16-year-old

- BUG-050: Preschooler only responds "Maybe later" when prompted

BUG-192: Attempts to streamline morning routine may result in total system failure

Severity: High | Priority: P1

Steps to Reproduce

1. Research time required to drive to destination

2. Work backwards to determine proper time allotment for breakfast, getting dressed, and getting out the door

3. Preselect outfit and meal for automated morning

4. Wake Preschooler at time necessary to reach objective

Expected Results: Preschooler wakes easily, eats breakfast without complaints, gets dressed in pre-chosen outfit, gets shoes on with minimal effort. Party reaches destination slightly early as scheduled.

Actual Results: Preschooler refuses pre-chosen outfit and insists on tank top and shorts despite cooler weather. Preschooler throws tantrum when forced to wear pants. Once outfit negotiation completes, Preschooler insists on putting it on herself while also demanding help without articulating what level of support is needed. Preschooler also insists on putting shoes on herself. Expected arrival now too late. Full system failure.

Notes

Happens 28% of the time. Sometimes outfit is acceptable. Sometimes shoe assistance is accomplished. Sometimes Parent is simply late and makes jokes about "you know, kids."

Preschooler appears to update independence parameters without change control or stakeholder sign off. Requirements unclear. Needs proper documentation.

Status: Open

Related Issues:

- BUG-336: Toddler can no longer leave the house without at least two toys

- BUG-123: After Infant onboarding, Toddler unable to handle independent play but insists she is a Big Girl who can Do Everything

BUG-965: Quantity mismatch during "one more book" bedtime subroutine

Severity: High | Priority: P2

Steps to Reproduce

1. Get Preschooler ready for bed

2. Read Preschooler a bedtime story

3. When Preschooler asks for "one more book," comply

Expected Results: After reading one final book, Preschooler gives goodnight kiss and goes to bed.

Actual Results: "One more book" becomes 5+ books. Original 5-minute estimate takes 55 minutes in reality.

Notes

Strict enforcement of "one book" was circumvented when Preschooler requested the same book read multiple times. Technically valid input which held up under review.

Preschooler has discovered she can control something about her own night. Workaround attempts have all failed.

Status: Open | Pending approval to close as "Working by Design" until requirements clarify what "one book" means.

Related Issues:

- BUG-802: Preschooler upgraded from Toddler package without proper change management

- BUG-902: Preschooler acting like 16-year-old since last version upgrade

BUG-2243: Collaborative task execution reduces efficiency by 340%

Severity: Medium | Priority: P3

Steps to Reproduce

1. Begin routine household task (sweeping, folding laundry, carrying groceries)

2. Preschooler observes task in progress

3. Preschooler requests to help

Expected Results: Task is completed in estimated time by Parent.

Actual Results: Preschooler takes one end of the laundry basket. Walks slowly. Stops to observe the dog. Stops to tell Parent something about a dream she had. Drops her end twice. Arrives at destination satisfied. Task took four times longer than necessary. Preschooler considers this a success.

Notes

Workaround available: complete task after Preschooler is occupied elsewhere.

Workaround is used less and less.

Unclear when this changed. Preschooler used to need to be carried everywhere. Then she walked but needed a hand. Now she carries her own end of things and just wants it to be alongside Parent.

The ask is different than it used to be. It is smaller and more specific. She is not asking to be taken care of. She is asking to be included.

Status: Open | Pending approval to close as “Working by design”.

Related Issues:

- BUG-276: Infant no longer remains where placed

- BUG-123: Toddler unable to handle independent play but insists she is a Big Girl

BUG-2271: Preschooler produces unprompted accurate assessment of Parent emotional state

Severity: Medium | Priority: P2

Steps to Reproduce

1. Have a hard day

2. Attempt to conceal this from Preschooler

3. Begin making dinner

Expected Results: Preschooler remains unaware. Evening proceeds normally.

Actual Results: Preschooler walks into kitchen. Looks at Parent. Says "are you sad?" Parent says no, just tired. Preschooler says "I think you're a little sad." Asks for a hug. Receives it. Returns to her toys.

Notes

No distress signals were active. Parent had not been crying. Parent was not speaking. Parent was stirring pasta.

Preschooler has been in operation for 4 years and 147 days. She came home unable to hold her own head up. She has since learned to walk, to argue, to negotiate, to put on her own shoes even when it takes ten minutes and they end up on the wrong feet. She learned to read Parent's face while Parent was still learning to read her own.

The hug lasted approximately 11 seconds. Her arms don't reach all the way around. It was sufficient.

Status: Open

Root cause under investigation. The countdown timer is optimization. The why loop is investigation. The outfit is jurisdiction. The one more book is autonomy, practiced in the only way available to her. The laundry basket is an invitation.

She is not harder to manage than she used to be. She is becoming harder to contain. There is a difference.

Suspected working by design.

Related Issues:

- BUG-001: Newborn requires continuous physical contact to maintain stable state

- BUG-289: Parent fails to keep up with her own changelogs