The Family Man

“I should have known better,” whispered Tom as he examined the ant infestation in his backyard. Tom had noticed that there were a few stray ants marching along in the kitchen over the weekend and he saw that they were walking in a line towards the open Nutella jar that was left on the counter. He never left Nutella out when his wife was home, but last time he left it out and then he cleaned it up and put it away, he hadn’t seen another ant for about a week or so. This time, it was a long line, from the backyard to the kitchen, but what could you do for ants other than remove the source of food? Which is what he did. Still, he wanted to create a space free from little critter infestations, where he could easily go about the business of creating a family.

This was its own problem, of course. Whether there were ants in the house or not, having a meaningful relationship with his wife and children was a problem of a different order. Gone were the days when he could say something cute and garner her attention or his kids’ reverence. He was certifiably stuck as a 37 year old man in a marriage that, like so many others, had problems, with two kids, a boy and a girl, who didn’t always listen or show him the kind of respect he thought he should be getting from them. Some days were OK, but other days this drove him slightly insane.

“No biggie,” said Tom as he examined the ant farm. He had plenty of pesticides in the garage that he could grab to route the ants a little bit. He knew he wouldn’t kill all of them. Ants were too resourceful. He knew what he was talking about here was a case of a stray line running into the kitchen. He was going to have to track that. He knew the ants needed to live somewhere. What struck him as the problem was the ants eating all the food in the kitchen and dirtying up the place.

He walked into the garage to look for his Raid ant spray, something he could use to get up in there and effect maximum impact, and as he did so, he happened to look over in the living room and saw his son, Henry, looking as though he was absorbed with something. Henry was four years old, so to see him absorbed with anything and quietly considering whatever it was he was playing with, was a rarity. “Good,” he thought, “maybe Henry will get piqued by something at a young age and not make the mistakes I made by winnowing away half of my life. I wish he would. I wish he would live a better life than me.”

He saw the spray on the counter in the garage. “This will really get them to a point where they are just confused and running amok and, eventually, they will come to their last.” He grabbed hold of the spray and walked back out to the backyard, uncertain now whether he intended to spray the ant farm in its entirety, or just spray the stray lines that looked as though they were making their way up to the kitchen. He passed back by the living room figuring he would say something to Henry about the importance of investing your mind in useful activities at a young age, but as he did so, he noticed Henry was no longer in the living room. So he stored the thought away, and made it back to the ant farm.  

He got down on his hands and knees with his gloves on and it occurred to him that he was being fastidious in this endeavor. After all, the ant infestation had more or less abated once he removed the jar of Nutella from the counter. Still, he considered his options looking at this mound of ant life and decided he would go ahead and spray the whole thing. He wanted the counters clean of insect life if he could help it.

He must have been getting after this task with the compunction of a possessed man, because halfway through the spraying he heard his wife’s voice. “Tom? What are you doing?” He paused where he crouched. “We’ve got an infestation.” He heard himself say. “Ah…okay.” His wife, Jennifer, did not seem to share his enthusiasm for the way in which he was getting after these ants. But this struck him as odd, given the fact that eliminating ants from the kitchen could only be considered a common good. Surely his wife didn’t want them trekking through the kitchen night and day? This was so typical of Jennifer to puncture his endeavors.

As evening began to settle itself over the eaves of the neighborhood, Tom was just finishing up his work on the ant farm and felt justifiably proud of himself. He had been thorough with his work and, while he fully expected to find more ants in the yard at some point, he believed he had made a dent in the ants’ ability to move around the kitchen unfettered. “Tom!” He heard his wife call his name. “Yes?” he called back. “Dinner is just about ready.” That struck Tom as odd. His wife never cooked. “Oh,” Tom replied, “Sounds good!” He had managed to hide his surprise. This was good. This was a good thing.

Tom moved through the kitchen heading towards the garage and as he did so he encountered a kitchen fully ablaze with activity. There was boiling water, roasting vegetables, and browned meat sizzling on the stove. All this was happening at once but his wife was nowhere to be found. Tom continued walking through the kitchen, into the hallway and round towards the garage when he ran into his daughter. “Daddy!” She cried. “Hi sweetie!” He replied without reflecting on the strangeness of his daughter’s unfettered love. Just last week she had a tantrum and said she was “done with him.” In that moment he thought she must have gotten over it, but he managed the wherewithal to deny her a hug, as he was covered in chemicals. When he told her as much, she ran giggling into the kitchen looking for mommy, relaying that daddy was covered in yucky stuff.

The night’s events progressed in a beautifully wonderful way for Tom. When he had laid the Raid on the counter in the garage, he returned to the kitchen to find his wife looking stunning in a dress just finishing up with dinner. He thought for a second that she had dressed up because there was some kind of party she was intending on attending after dinner, so he made it a point to ask about this over the conversation at the dinner table and she averred that she did not have any kind of party to attend, that she would be with him all night.

“Daddy is too lonely, I think.” Jennifer said. “Why are you so lonely, Daddy?” asked his daughter, Anne. “I’m not lonely,” he said, “I mean I have all three of you here with me, of course I’m not lonely.” “That’s right,” said Jennifer. “You have us forever and always.” He loved hearing this from here, even if, on some level, he couldn’t quite believe his good fortune. He had been so reticent lately, and isolated, and now it was like, that was a different man’s life, even though this was his wife and his kids. “Strange things happen,” he thought.  

Just last week he had had an unusually fraught encounter with Jennifer, in which she got after him for taking his eye off her parents’ precarious situation as they were nearing the age in which they might need to be placed in a home. “You have to stay on top of this, Tom.” She had said. “I know you are a vigilant guy, but I want you to be extra vigilant about this because one of them could take a fall or something and without anyone looking in on them, it was a risk.” They needed eyes on them at all times, and Tom had made the suggestion that they move into a home, and she did not want to hear that.     

“They want to die alone.” She said, “not in an old folks home. They want to be in their own house.” “OK,” said Tom, “then they will need some kind of life alert or something so we can check up on them.” “Maybe,” said Jennifer, “if we were around them more, and were actually present forces in their lives, we would know these things.” Tom quickly said he thought it was too risky for them and entreated her to consider a life alert, or a home, but she had turned off the conversation at that point.

After dinner, Tom helped Jennifer put away some of the dishes, but she was pretty much on top of most of it. The kids retreated into the living room to watch the movie “Minions” as Tom and Jennifer finished up cleaning and opened a bottle of wine. After the movie was over Tom put the kids to bed, and then he and Jennifer had sex. It was good sex. Like, incredible sex, Tom thought. Which was strange and didn’t happen all that often. He couldn’t believe his night. He sat in bed afterwards with Jennifer on his shoulder and reflected on the day and it was like it was a dream.

The next morning Tom awoke to an empty house. He walked into the kitchen to see where everyone was, but no one was anywhere to be found. He thought “they must be out somewhere doing something.” So he walked over to the coffee pot, made himself some coffee and as he sipped it he reflected that it was exactly hitting the spot and it was just the right temperature. Right at that moment, his wife walked in with her yoga clothes on. He hadn’t seen her in any kind of workout garb in a month and it turned him on.

“Hey.” She said, smiling at him. Even though they had had sex last night, he could quickly recall the fights and this disagreement about her parents’ living situation, so when she addressed him he almost spit out his coffee. “What have you got going on today?” She asked. “I was just thinking of working out and then I’ve got some errands I’ve got to do and a couple things around the house.” “Okay,” she said. “I wish you weren’t such a hard worker, every time I see you, you are working so hard.” She pouted a bit saying this and he just responded, “that’s me, hard at work.”

In all honesty he was practically falling over himself to leave the room because his wife hadn’t been this openly affectionate with him this way in what felt like months. I mean, they had had a good time last night, but he half expected it was the wine. At any rate he had things to do and couldn’t be bothered to think about it too much. He walked into the bedroom, got dressed and then picked up his car keys and walked into the garage to get in his car to head out for errands.

He drove down the road heading towards the bank, and he was thinking about his wife. How they had met in college. The intense chemistry and her beauty and his obvious attraction to her. He had hardly disguised it. He took what felt like a punch to the gut when he first met her and he knew that he was in love, but somehow, over the years, they had slowly drifted apart. With the exception of the occasional night of fooling around, they seemed to have grown more and more distant. And his responsibility to his family had largely shaped itself into his being a financial provider. But, of course, he loved his wife and kids and cared about them immensely. And nights like last night he knew, he was getting back on track with her.

After stopping by the bank, he thought he would get a quart of ice cream at Cold Stone Creamery, and so made a trip out of his way down Providence Ave to stop by the store. A little bit of ice cream shared between his kids and his wife and himself wouldn’t be so bad. His kids were growing up so fast. And they played outside all the time, they ate vegetables sometimes and kids don’t usually gain weight from a bit of ice cream. The point he was trying to make is that they were growing up healthy and a little treat wouldn’t be so bad. His wife was great about watching for any bad habits or unhealthy behavior. She was so vigilant.

When he got home, he had a smile on his face. As he parked the car and walked into the house, he could hear the kids scream. He wanted to tell them he got them some ice cream, but couldn’t get a word in. “No, you played with the scooter already, it’s my turn.” Shouted Henry. As he turned the corner he heard Anne yank the scooter away from Henry and he nearly panicked. “Kids,” he yelled, “play nice.” They must have had a row before he got here, that was typical of them.

“There you are,” said his wife, dressed now in her normal weekend clothes, and with a totally different vibe. “I wasn’t sure when you would be back.” “I just ran an errand, but am back now.” He said, smiling. He felt like the luckiest guy in the world. “And if you’re not too busy, I know how we can spend the afternoon.” he said, flirtatiously. She looked shocked. “Tom,” she said, hesitating. “Look, you’re a great guy, but…” he looked down and saw that she was dragging a suitcase behind her. “It’s not working out. I’m staying at my sister’s for a little bit. Ok?” Tom was dumbfounded. “What do you mean it’s not working out? I mean, we are happy, aren’t we? We just had this incredible night” He stopped for a second and tried to think back over last night, but could only remember the last few months.

“Tom,” said Jennifer, “what are you talking about?” “Last night,” he said, “it was incredible. I mean I know I’ve been withholding things from you, like, going through my own struggles, dealing with all my own thoughts and moods, but everyone does that.” He felt as though he were starting to see things. He couldn’t believe what was going on. “Tom,” said Jennifer, “I was away on a work trip last night. And it made me realize this marriage is not working out. The kids are at my sister’s, and we are gonna just take a little time OK? I just came back over to get my things.”

“But,” said Tom, dumbfounded. “I know this is hard for you,” said Jennifer, “But this marriage has been falling apart. We’ve been growing apart for years now and I know it’s not good to abandon a marriage with young kids but you’re just so insular. Look, I don’t know what’s going on with you. I think you’re just a selfish man. But I just can’t do it anymore. You’re never attentive when I need you to be and it’s like you’re so absorbed in your own world, well, guess what. I’ve had enough. I know you might be upset by this but what I really need to tell you is good bye.” “What…” started Tom. “That's right,” said Jennifer, “goodbye Tom.” And with that, Jennifer walked out the door.  

The slam of the door was loud. And now Tom stood in silence in the kitchen of his house, trying to think back over the last few weeks and even the last few months. Mostly, Tom was stunned by what had just happened. He saw Jennifer in the clothes he had come to expect her to wear. She looked totally shaken up by what she was saying, and how he was responding. And he knew she was gone. That the kids were gone. That it was just him alone in this house. And just at that moment Tom heard a voice. “Baby…” his wife was calling him from the bedroom. “Be right there!” Tom shouted back, and walked along the passage.