A Plan Gone So Wrong (So Right)

I never planned to fall in love with him. I only planned to make him miserable. How did it backfire? Our story began in high school. Billy was my main tormentor, the worst of the worst. I remember him being the basketball star, he was obnoxiously tall for his age. I was short compared to that giant, only five-foot-four. But it was bad, I had to move schools because of him. It was just too hard to be there when I couldn’t function. Little did I know our paths would cross again, and this time, I would make him pay. But yet, why did I fall in love with him?

It happened about a year into my job, I had the typical office job. Desks, back breaking chairs that everyone hated but could do nothing about, and of course, a cubicle. I decorated my cubicle with little thought into it. I don’t even remember what compelled me to put a hot pink poster board with utter nonsense there. It was random stuff on it, for instance, a photo here, okay that’s normal. What isn’t normal was the Mardi Gras beads hung up just to make it look gaudy. I had wrote in purple glitter glue, “Leave me alone, I’m just weird.” That’s not really normal. Right? But back to the story. I had spent most of my time there tormenting him as he laughed it off, pretending it didn’t bother him at all. Don’t worry, I did my work too. I became the bully. I’d put vinegar in his coffee when he wasn’t looking, go and mix up his papers while he was away. Just things that I thought would get under his skin without really thinking too much of it. One day, a year into this, I was passing his cubicle on my way to the ladies room and he grabbed my hand. He had finally had enough. He looked me in the eye and said, “I know it was you doing all this to me, and I know why you are doing this. I did worse to you in high school. I know I hurt you, and I am so sorry, Britney. Please give me a chance to make it up to you.”

I looked at him and without thinking, I whispered, “Okay Cody, come to my house after work, I have to show you something. Something I kept hidden all this time. It’s time you knew.” He looked at me puzzled, but agreed. I wrote down my address with shaking hands, making it almost unreadable, and gave it to him. My hands were sweating with nerves as I thought how I would show him my darkest secret. Would he run for the hills like so many before? Would he laugh at me? I couldn’t say for certain.

I went straight home after work to prepare myself mentally. The car ride wasn’t long, but it was draining. I had to show him just what his relentless and cruel remarks did to me. After I got home, I passed the time by pacing. After what felt like hours, but was only 30 minutes, I heard a knock on the door. I answered it, tears already in my eyes. I wasn’t ready, but I invited him inside anyway. As I struggled to undress, just enough to show him my darkest secret, he looked away politely but clearly this was making him nervous. I was tempted to tease him over it, but though better of it. Though, I’m glad he could be a gentleman too. I wanted to show him my self-inflicted scars all over my chest, my arms, and wrists. I always hid it with a long sleeved blouse at work. It was something I was ashamed of. When I told him to turn around, he was reluctant, not knowing what I was doing. But when he finally saw them, he gasped and cried, hugging me and kissing my cheek. He whispered in my ear words of remorse and comfort. I didn’t know what I was expecting to happen, but it wasn’t this. He left after a while, but little did I know he would be back with dinner.

He ended up getting me a beautiful bouquet of pink lilies and take out from my favorite restaurant. I don’t know how he knew those two were my favorites, but he did, I decided to take it. It was expensive too. He even knew my favorite entree. It was pork cutlets, served with a baked sweet potato, steamed broccoli, and to top it all off, garlic parm green beans. He is full of wonders. I only knew later that he found out by my usual lunch choices coming back from the weekend. He must have saw the take out box, the cover clear, with the restaurant logo on the box, in the fridge every Monday. Not to mention the note I left with my name, it’s no wonder he knew. As for the lilies, I still don’t know. We ate until our bellies were full, and he brought out dessert, cookie dough ice cream just for me. I declared I was not sharing, not even for him. He feigned hurt before bringing out ice cream for himself. It was chocolate fudge. It seemed like his go to, I would have to remember that. We didn’t bother with bowls, just ate straight out of the container with spoons. We ended up talking for a long time and before long, he had to go. Before he left, he asked me something rather surprising, “Will you go out with me?” I said yes, though I don’t know why, but I did.

After that night, he was the complete opposite of how he was in high school. He was sweet, charming, and he was still a big goof ball. That never changed at least. He must have done a lot of growing up in the time we were apart. We often pulled harmless pranks on each other at the office. Once even doing it to another couple. Before long, we had a prank war going between us and them. It was fun but when the pink glitter bomb went off in my desk drawer, we had to put an end to it. It got everywhere so the boss had to put down his foot. They were rather big feet too. No more pranks. Instead we went on lunch dates, sometimes just the two of us, and others, a double date. Things were always fun and lively.

Two years have passed since then and we are now engaged. He bought me a simple gold band, no jewels inlaid, just how I like it. Some might say he is cheap for doing that, or he doesn’t love me. But he knows I like it simple and that’s why he chose it. I don’t care what others think about it, I adore it. We are still working on how we feel about the past, the emotional damage done to me, and how he feels about doing that to me. There have been many heartaches and lots of stress, especially when I trigger. He still struggles seeing the scars, but not in the way you might think. He struggles with them because it shows the pain he caused me. I have long since forgiven him. We are making this work and will continue to for as long as possible. I never planned to fall in love with him. Him, of all people. Especially since every guy who saw these ugly scars went running. But he was different, he ran straight to me. I can finally accept myself and my past, and it’s all thanks to him.