Heavy Words

Words,

Such little things.

Yet worlds they bring.

Positive or negative, a gentle spark,

They carry light or cloak the dark.

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Negative Words.

Descend like rain,

They settle on my shoulders,

Cold and dense as winter’s stone,

Darkness comes; I am alone.

Lies are stuck within my chest,

Heavy words I can’t digest.

Here they linger, rough and loud,

Gravel words I choke and shroud.

Each word a weight upon my heart,

Pressing in, they pull apart

The pieces fragile, sharp, and stark,

Splintered edges in the dark.

I am glass—so quick to break,

Shattered by the words they make.

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Ugly—

I’m not pretty.

Wrong—

Why can’t I ever get it right?

Dramatic—

It doesn’t matter, out of sight.

Failure—

I’ll never win this fight.

A hollow place within my chest,

Where doubts and sorrows come to rest.

Here I am,

On a road I never planned to take,

Yet here I stand,

With every trembling step I make.

Useless—

Why can’t I do better, why can’t I try?

Lazy—

You never do enough, no reason why.

Coward—

Too cautious to ever dare,

Idiotic—

Not smart enough, gasping for air.

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Do Not Speak,

Not a Word.

None of it matters.

It’s all just words.

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Sticks and stones may break my bones,

But words can build the coldest thrones.

Around my spirit walls arise,

Invisible but strong as ties.

Bones may heal as time goes by,

But everyone knows, and so do I—

Words take root, begin to grow,

A binding force I can’t let go.

A parasite, these words to me,

Feeding on my misery.

Keep quiet now, do not speak,

Silence is the strength they seek.

“Silence is virtue,” they always say,

So, I lock my words and push away.

Keep quiet still, do not speak—

Let silence settle, cold and bleak.

O’ hear these words, their bitter ring,

Watch how their shadows swallow me.

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Do you even try at all?

You’re so stupid, doomed to fall.

What an idiot, they say—

Stay out of everyone’s way!

You’re so fake, annoying too,

Why must you do what you do?

Each cut, I try to ignore,

But the pain seeps to my core.

I pretend that I’m okay,

I wait in silence, hope, and pray.

Let me stay here, safe and low,

In this place I’ve come to know.

Scaredy-cat! Hypocrite!

You’re dramatic—always it.

What’s wrong with you? You can’t be tough.

You’ll never—never—be enough.

Here they come, they seek for me,

A drop of blood is all they need.

Don’t you worry, I’ll be fine—

I say this lie and draw the line.

Heavy words, a secret song,

They echo in my mind for so long.

They sing to me in shadowed night,

A chorus hidden from the light.

In the darkness, voices swell,

Do not speak—pretend, as well.

“It’ll be okay,” I say,

But soon the dark will claim the day.

Hate and disgust, spite and rage,

Emotions trapped within a cage.

I am here, and darkness grows,

Too much of me, the shadows know.

No more hope—my spirit cries,

This is where my body lies.

Death draws near on silent feet,

A final darkness, cold and sweet.​

Disappointment—my constant mask,

“You never do what I ask.”

Unworthy—love will not appear,

“Incompetent, you’re useless here.”

Look at you, so dumb, so small—

That’s how they see me, after all.

My mind retreats, it slips away,

To a secret place where doubts can’t stay.

A hiding place, a gentle shield,

Where wounds and worries slowly heal.

I am safe, but not for long,

Soon the lies will come on strong.

But still—

Kindness, love, and patience too,

Diligence in all I do,

Humility and grace arise,

Peace and joy before my eyes.

Comfort, hope, protection’s song,

Strength and mercy make me strong.

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​O’ my Lord, His gifts I see—

A warmth that dwells inside of me.

The stone is loosed, my soul can breathe,

Look now—new hope, new life beneath.

Alive, I shine with inner light,

No longer lost within the night.

“You are wonderfully made, My own,

Beautiful, loved, and never alone.

Perfectly formed, your spirit soared,

I am your protector, your loving Lord.

You are chosen, redeemed and strong,

You have a purpose; here you belong.

Restored, beloved, My precious child,

Held in My arms, safe and reconciled.”

My Lord, He sings a song to me,

Words of light and mystery.

Here in His arms, I rest secure,

His love is perfect, steadfast, pure.

He is my light, my hope, my guide,

Within His presence I abide.

He is mine, and I am His—

A bond no darkness can dismiss.

What a wonder—can’t you see?

His perfect love has rescued me.

He is my light that will not leave,

In Him forever I believe.

Hate and disgust, misery, rage—

A storm within I can’t delegate

The darkness comes, its shadow falls,

O’ Lord, please hear my desperate calls.

Do not let it capture me—

Set me free, let darkness flee.

Envy, guilt, and pride reside,

Laziness I cannot hide.

The devil tempts with poisoned cup,

Inviting me to drink it up.

Surely then, if I comply,

Death and darkness drawing high.

But let me flee, escape this night—

To my hiding place, out of sight.

My secret refuge, safe and still,

O’ Lord, protect me from all.

Let not the darkness swallow me whole—

Within Your arms, I long to be.​

The doubts and lies come rushing in,

Invading places deep within.

I try to hide, but find instead

They haunt the corners of my head.

My hiding place, no longer safe,

The darkness comes—my thoughts enslave.

It calls my name, it shouts at me,

A storm of shame I cannot flee.

“Hypocrite! Stupid! Ugly! Weak!

Dramatic! Needy!”—the words they speak.

“Unloved! Useless!”—all rings true,

Each bitter lie, I hold as new.

“Pushy! Annoying! Liar! Coward!

Fat and lazy, judged and soured!

Imperfect, dumb, unloved, alone—

The thorns are twisted, overgrown.”

They pierce my heart, I’m left to bleed,

Broken, scarred, by every deed.

“You are a burden! No one cares!

You will never be enough,” despair declares.

Will these voices ever cease?

They echo on, deny me peace.

Here and there, they come for me,

The pain resides, won’t set me free.

It settles deep within my chest,

No place to heal, no time to rest.

I’m lost and broken, cast aside,

With nowhere left for hope to hide.​

The doubts, they sing their haunting song,

From right and left, they press along.

Yet in the night, a voice breaks through:

“You are Mine. I cherish you.”

“You are loved, I’m always near,

Come to Me and rest, My dear.”

I will remember, through the storm,

My God whose love is true and warm.

He sings to me, He grants me peace,

His gentle touch bids fears to cease.

He defeats the lies with light,

He fills my heart with truth and might.

“You are forgiven—do not fear,

I give you strength; I’m always here.

I love you so, I won’t give up,

For you, I fill the blessing cup.

You have a purpose, you are known,

I call you Mine, you’re not alone.

Redeemed and cherished, by My side,

With Me forever you'll abide.

I will not leave, you’re never apart,

I am with you—keep Me in your heart.”

O’ Lord, let me drink from Your cup,

It shall not run dry, but fill me up.

Let doubts remain in shadowed night,

While I stand sheltered in Your light.

O’ Lord, let me eat of Your bread,

Be satisfied, be fully fed.

Let me receive Your perfect peace,

Your grace and love that never cease.

Your kindness, strength, and wisdom true,

Your hope and guidance shining through,

Your comfort, courage, mercy, good—

Your Spirit’s light, my daily food.

Let it fill my soul, I pray,

May my cup overflow each day.

I am not perfect, this I know,

But God has claimed me, told me so.

He says, “You are Mine”—His love enough,

To lift me up when times are tough.​

So here I stand, with armor bright,

Clothed in faith against the night.

I tell the darkness, “Flee from me!”

For now I know, I’m meant to be—

Not consumed by shadow’s blight,

But living in redeeming light.

The One who showed His love so true,

Who gave His Son—my life made new,

That I might never taste despair,

But find His love forever there.

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Goodbye, you words of weary weight,

I cast you off, seal the gate.

Anxiety weighs down the heart, but a kind word cheers it up.

Proverbs 12:25

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