A Beast In A Goth Club

My back to him, I run my tongue over my upper right fang. I think I got kale stuck on it. People don't realize how embarrassing it is to be a vampire. Oh, sorry, "Vampyre" as we are forced to write it at weekly meetup...I mean "gathering".

I can eat whatever I want. It's just with a dead gastrointestinal system it's a hassle. So, most of us try to avoid it. Mine didn't work so great when I was alive. Still, I love food. Real human food...not...human as a food...I mean French-fries, burgers, a nice juicy kale salad. That kind of human food. Sure, humans as a food, or their blood rather, do give me a good boost. I get powerful AF. But, it's just not as tasty. Because I'm built to consume it, it has its appeal. A liquid diet for eternity is not what I was looking for.

So, here I am, an all mighty vampyre, trying nervously to get kale out my fang before I keep talking to him.

"Did you hear me?"

"Hmm?", back still turned to him. Damn it. Gotta get a finger in there, tongue is not enough.

"I said, 'Did you hear me?'"

Got it! Finally, kale free, I swivel to face him and nearly fall. Clumsiest vampyre in existence.

He catches me, of course. I can't help it, I'm swooning. Not a clue what he's saying, yet again. He seems to give up talking, smiles gently as he pulls me close to him. OMG. Are we going to kiss? Our first kiss? OMG he likes me?

"Taro! Raxu!"

No. Fucking. Way. Damn it. It's him. Grav. Most annoying vampyre alive...or undead. I wish I had a stake right now. I know that sounds harsh, hear me out. Everywhere I go, there's Grav. Not exaggerating I swear. Food shopping at night- Grav. Go hunting about to close in on my kill- there's Grav. Using the human facilities after way too much kale: Grav. Like get off my coffin man.

I expel a salad-y breath from my dead lungs as Grav squeezes me from behind into the hug I was trying to avoid by walking away. Damn his gangly arms with vampyre strength. He can use his strength on me, he knows what I am and I know what he is. Raxu however, is clueless and I'm trying to keep it that way. For now.

I mean, vampyre romance is complicated. You know how it goes. Fall in love and either watch them grow old and lose them, or turn them into a vampyre and force them to live for eternity. Feels very selfish to force someone to live for eternity just to love you. My heart burns as if it were alive when I think of never seeing him again though. I mean until just a few moments ago, I was unsure if he was even into me. But of course. Grav.

"How's my favorite gay goths?", Grav asks, putting a long arm over the back of Raxu's neck and the other over mine, keeping himself in the middle.

"You’d know if you answered our gay goth group text, with your pseudo goth gay fingers."

If I had a soul it would sing right now. Oh that melodious voice. I'm saved. Sweetest music to my dead ears. Aleiasin is here. Pronounced "Ahh-lye-ah-sin". Oddly enough, he did not choose his name. Which makes me question his parents. Aleiasin is my best friend in the whole dark world. He is gorgeous in a way I envy and if he wasn't my friend I would crave him. His beautiful dark skin and his long black hair kept in goddess locs cascading down his often naked back. Aleiasin introduced me to Raxu. He knows my type very well. Tattooed, pierced, tall, midnight skin, 4c hair and deeply goth. As for personality type? I'm a shallow bitch. Blame my maker, Leov. I mean, I think I have some depth if I'm interested in a life long commitment right? A life long commitment with me is different, it's eternity. That's got to count for some maturity I think. Who knows, maybe I've grown? With Raxu, yeah he fits the surface, but I feel so different around him. He calms me, makes me feel forever in short bursts.

Grav screeches as Aleiasin grabs him from the back of his shoulder length royal blue mohawk, "Mind your business bitch, time to go. Come on, catch me up on your Grav doings."

To my relief he leads Grav away, letting go only when they were deep into the crowd. Grav rubs his head, looks back, shrugs and waves at us before continuing to follow Aleiasin.

Raxu laughs and waves back. I don't wave. Get gone Grav, damn.

Raxu fixes his eyes back on me.

Did my heart just stop again? Being dead and in love is so confusing.

He smiles his beautiful smile down on me. I look up at him as my favorite Type-O-Negative song purrs across the speakers. Wolf Moon. Love me some retro.

"This is my favorite song," I lean in close to say to him.

To my surprise he snaps his head back and gives me a strange look, "Yeah?"

Oh. My. God. I want to die of embarrassment. I know, I'm undead but omg serve me up to the sun. Does he not like it? Does he think I'm weird for liking this song? That was such a big reaction, I hope I didn't just turn him off completely. Just kill me...again.

He cocks his head listening and lets out a laugh, "Bold. I like it."

Whew! I un-clench my undead butt-cheeks. I'm a vampyre, how can the thought of this mortal not liking me cause me to feel like death is not the worst of sensations.

Bodies gyrate around us. Black clouds in human form writhe in a dance I understand even more now that I am dead. What's more goth than being undead? I mean really.

Raxu gets closer to me as the lyrics "Beware" are whispered by Peter Steele. His voice fills the goth club. The immense music volume demanded in a club tickles my skin as the lyrics drip over my body with a decadence that makes me shiver.

"Where do you want to go?"

"Um..what do you mean?" Oh damn my undead life. I mean I can't be smooth just once? Come on. I bet Lestat never had moments like this. Why couldn't I be one of the cool vampyres?

Raxu looks perplexed. He pulls back a bit.

Damn it. I'm sure I am very very confusing to interact with. It's not my fault I'm a vampyre with social anxiety. You'd think dying would cure that. Not for me. Some vampyres blossom. I...I just quiver around. I'm surprised I can hunt at all. But that hunger, it will force you. French fries sure don't quench that, and they leave you groaning over a porcelain seat for longer than I want to admit. Anyway, back to Raxu, I have to fix this. I must push through my anxiety.

"Raxu, I.."

He looks at me, "Yes?"

Don't throw up, don't throw up Taro. It will most likely be mostly blood and it will freak him the fuck out. You'll have to spend time explaining why you DON'T need to go to the ER.

"Um...there's actually a walking trail behind the club. Not far anyway. It leads to a lake." Wooow way to sound like a serial killer. This will go great I'm sure.

Raxu bites his lip. Oh damn.

"Sounds good. Let's bounce, huh?"

We walk down toward the lake together. Exchanging a few awkward words. Soon the trail opens up to a view of the lake and wooden pier leading to its wetness. We comment on how beautiful it is as we start to cross over the planks together. Wood creaking under each of our footsteps. We reach the edge and sit down.

I stare out over the lake into the night. The moon is beautiful, cascades its light across the lake. Water mirroring space. It's mind blowing if you think of it a bit. I place my hands beside me onto the pier as I lean ever so slightly forward. Watching the distorted view of the full belly moon. That's what my mom used to call it. She said around every thirty days the moon became pregnant and when she was ready, on that final night, she would glow like only a pregnant woman could. I would ask moms what the moon would give birth to that night. Her eyes would light up and she would say, the moon was pregnant with wild. Moms said how people used to know how to dance with her and channel her energy. But they were forced to forget. Now, because they are so disconnected, they only cause chaos during her birthing time. I miss my mom so much. She was all the magic I ever knew.

"You're so quiet."

Oops! I did that thing where I think a lot in my brain and forget that it's not coming out of my mouth.

"Oh! Ha ha, sorry!"

"No, it wasn't a criticism. I admire that about you. Most people will just babble just to pass wind through their mouths. You…you're a thinker. I like that."

I don't think I can blush if I'm undead, but wow I would be blushing so hard if I could.

He lifts my chin to bring my eyes to his, "Hey, I like how you are."

Raxu starts to lean in towards me, his eyes slowly starting to close. It’s happening! Oh my god, don’t freak out, don’t freak out. I let my body move forward and start to close my eyes as well. Oh…oh no…no. Not now, omg!

“AHHHCHOOO!” I sneeze hard all over my would-be lover's face. If I could slither into the water without causing further alarm I would sit at the bottom until I had to get back to my coffin.

Raxu’s face is scrunched shut as he wipes my spit and apparently snot off his chiseled features. Wow, he looks hot even with my phlegm on him. 

“Ohh my god I am so sorry!” I lean forward to help him wipe. He shakes his head and softly pushes me back. I am mortified. I slump down, I can feel tears wanting to build in my eyes. Oh don’t you dare! Bloody tears is not what will make this better! Damnit Taro. 

After much wiping Raxu looks at me. I watch as the corners of his mouth begin to twitch. I squint at him, concerned. Raxu lets out a deep bellowing laugh, to my shock.

“You are one awkward mothafucka I’ll give you that!”

I chuckle a bit. His laugh is infectious and before long we are both holding our bellies from the ache of laughter. 

As the ache starts to subside, I grab Raxu by his jacket and press my lips against his. Look at meee I’m doing it!

I open my eyes to see his wide eyes soften as I feel his body melt beneath my hold. He grabs me from around my waist, squeezing me close as his lips and tongue meet mine. Our hands and fingers trace each other, gripping madly in a heated rush to know one another. He breaks away gasping for breath. Oh right, humans need that.

“I need to tell you something.”

Well, shit. That’s never good.

He slowly slides away from me to stand.

I’m getting worried, “What? What’s wrong?”

He looks nervous, scared even. What could have this tall man of muscle so on edge?

“Look, I asked you to come out tonight because I like you.”

I sigh, my whole body drops in relief, “I like you too,” I say through the biggest smile I’ve had since I found my mom’s radio in the attic.

His face lights up briefly as he echoes a smile. Quickly panic dominates his face again. I stand up, walk closer to him. 

“Raxu, what’s wrong? I’m here. It’s okay.” I go to touch him but he pulls back quickly. I’m confused, frustrated. “Raxu, what’s going on? What did I do?...I mean besides sneezing all over you, I guess that’s enough to…”

“You’re amazing, you’re perfect. It’s me, I have something I have to show you. It may freak you out. I haven’t shown anyone else. I’m…I’m terrified I might lose you before we’ve even started.”

His arms fall to his sides. He looks defeated.

“Raxu, I’ve been wanting to be with you for years. I’m not going anywhere. There’s nothing, I’m telling you nothing, that would change that for me.”

His eyes look sad. He looks down, “We’ll see.”

Raxu walks toward the pier. I follow behind him, my forehead furrowed. I don’t know what’s happening. 

He keeps walking until he reaches where we sat before. 

I’m halfway across the pier when he says, “Stay there.” 

I stop. What the capital F is going on?

He starts to undress. I pause, excitement catches me, I feel my fangs trying to drop again. I must control myself. 

I stammer, “What are you…I mean not that I mind…I just thought maybe we would wait a bit until…”

“No, it’s not what you think.” 

He continues to take his clothes off leaving them in puddles at his feet until he is fully naked, his back to me. He steps into the water, not dives, nothing so graceful, just a full on leg up and body forward motion.

“Oh my god Raxu!” I run to the edge and stupidly look at the lake. As if this is Jamaica or some other tropical water where I could see him. Why would he do that?

I’m panicking. I need to go in after him! But if I do, if he sees how long I can “hold” my unnecessary breath…what then?

Bubbles start to froth the water. A powerful stream of water shoots up as something catapults over my head and onto the dock behind me shaking the pier as it lands. 

I turn and fall back in terror almost falling into the lake.

Before me…is…could this be him? Is this what he wanted to tell…show me?

I watch as the lycanthrope stands at his full height, fur wet. 

Is this how I die?

His form turns to face me. He is massive. He is on all fours now. I am so very small in comparison. I have nowhere to back into as he moves towards me.

“R-Raxu? I-is that you? Are you in there?”

I will go into the lake if I have to. But… if this is Raxu… I swallow hard as his nose nearly touches mine.

“Raxu…” I whisper.

He lowers his head and nestles it against my chest.

“Raxu?”

He licks my face and sits on his haunches, a small whine comes out of him. Shaking, I gather my courage and crawl towards him. I sit in front of him.

He cocks his head. Just like he did in the club while listening to my favorite song! I guffaw in relief! I leap my body against his, my arms wrap around him tight. 

“Oh Raxu! This is wonderful!”

He wiggles out of my arms. His face starts to change, a bit back to his human face, but not fully.

“Do you mean that?”

“Ha ha yes!” 

“I don’t understand, Taro, aren’t you afraid? I’m a freaking werewolf! I’m happy but your reaction…I don’t understand how you can be so calm.”

I lower my head and begin to sob. I let it flow. I let myself happen.

“Hey! Are you alright? I’m here.” 

I feel his paw brush against my cheek.

“B-blood? Taro!” Raxu grabs my face.

My tears, my blood tears, are sliding down my face and onto his paws. I feel a bloody snot bubble surfacing.

“What’s going on?” Raxu says, looking down at his fur and my face.

I smile wide. I let my fangs fully drop. I lick my right fang. No kale. Good.

For a moment we are frozen there. One wolf. One child of the bat. 

I break the silence with, “I love you.” 

Raxu, my wolf, embraces me, releasing a deep guttural howl. I buried my face in his fur, his musk pressed against my tears. I cling to him and sob.

“I love you too, my little vampyre.”

We hold each other for eternity, or five minutes.

I then cringe as I watch him transform loudly, painfully, back to his human form. I hand him his clothes, with one hand covering my eyes.

He cackles, teasing me, “I’m dressed.” I look back. He is in fact not dressed. 

“Eep!” I quickly turn back around.

“Brotha…did you just..eep?”

“Just get dressed already.”

He laughs.

Fully dressed, we walked back to the club. He gingerly slips his hand in mine. I look up, make some weird face, look back down.

“You’re mine now. You don’t have nothin to fear anymore.” He squeezes my hand as he says this.

I feel my body relax. I believe him.

We enter the club different beings than when we left. Life looks beautiful now. Every bit of the club looks like it’s made of diamonds through my lovestruck eyes.

Neon lights are pulsing, a song is ending. 

Raxu whips his head back to look at me, puts forefinger to lips then rushes away swallowed by dancers. I see his head pop up, whispering to the DJ, handing him green papers.

A moment passes. It begins. I gasp.

I see his body emerge, head lowered, eyes set on me.

“The beast inside of me is gonna getcha…”

Lyrics swirl around us. 

“...To death…”

I’m not shy anymore. We pull each other close, moving slowly, tightly against each other. 

Two beasts in a goth club.