Well Said

Why? A question holding James like a straitjacket in solitude on the front porch of his parent’s home out in the country. It was a beautiful home on a hill overlooking the most amazing scenery. A large fishing pond surrounded by lush green grass up against a backdrop of the tallest oak trees. Spring flowers all the way to edge of the forest. Today, however, none if it was beautiful. None of it mattered. With the passing of James’s father unexpectedly the beauty of the world seemed to fade out of existence.

James stared at a hole he spotted in one of the boards in the porch. Darkness. There was nothing to be seen through that hole. Just a dark hole. As he stared at the hole it was like he was looking into a mirror that reflected the void of his heart that use to be filled with such joy.

He thought about his last moments with his father the night before. They were sitting around the table having dinner. Meatloaf, mash potatoes, and green beans with your choice of water, juice, or Dr. Pepper. His dad loved his Dr. Peppers and James loved his mother’s meatloaf.

There was talk of the farm, family, and going off to school mostly between James and his dad. James’ mother would always come alive to the conversation whenever there was talk of love. She was always quiet and reserved. The only time she seemed to be interested in the table discussions was when James’ father would question him about girlfriends. “Have you met any nice college girls?” he would say.

James would always turn a little blush at that question. Being home for spring break was nice but there was no avoiding this question. He got it every time he came home. Like clockwork and before he could answer his mother would say, “Yes, tell us, is there anyone that’s groan sweet on you? There must be someone by now,” she would say with a large smile.

James swallowed a bite of meatloaf and chased it down with some Dr. Pepper only to buy a moment of time to think of something new to say. Except it was the same thing he always said, “You know I only want to focus on school right now. I am sure there are a lot of nice girls out there, but I want to be successful first, so I can provide a nice life for the lucky girl when she comes along.” James always offered a little wink there at the end of his reply.

James’s father chimed in, “Boy. Let me tell you something. Being rich or poor or having all the experiences there are to be had in this world are meaningless unless they are shared in love. And that’s all your mom and I want for you.” James would smile and reply, “Well said Pop. Well said.”

As James sat on the front porch of his family’s home there was a deep loneliness in the depth of his soul. His father, his mentor, and his friend, gone. How could he ever come back from the pain and the hurt he was experiencing. He was drowning in a sea of emotion.

His eyes swollen from tears held back. A lump in his throat gave cause for him to reach for his cold Dr. Pepper on a small table next to his chair. The air was humid, and the heat of the day was unbearable even under the shade of the front porch. There was not even the slightest of breeze. It was so hot he thought for a moment that even his Dr. Pepper was sweating.

Turning up the bottle to take a drink he saw the wind chimes his father got for Christmas several years ago. Even they were morning the loss of their owner. They had not sung their song since the moment it all happened. Motionless.

James thought about how him and his dad would sit out on the porch every summer weekend and kick back a nice cold Dr. Pepper together. The wind used to blow so often and the wind chimes use to sing the most beautiful songs. The grass would wave, and the trees would applaud as the leaves shook on the limbs.

There wouldn’t be much said between the two of them as they sat together. Just being in each other’s company was enough. Just two guys sharing a soda on the front porch enjoying God’s glorious creation. The songs of the chimes would run continuously like one of life’s great ballets.

After a bit of time would pass, James’ dad would say, “Son, there is nothing like an ice-cold Dr. Pepper on a hot day to the soundtrack of chimes!” James would then raise his bottle high in the air and say, “Well said Pop, well said!”

Today the chimes were not singing, and it was hotter than James could ever remember. His Dr. Pepper seemed a little flat and sweat was now starting to run down his back. He wanted to go back inside with the rest of the family in the air condition, but James just sat there on the porch like he was still trying to hold on to something.

The sweat from his brow began to drop down into his eyes adding to the sting that was already there. The grass and the trees were as still as statues. He felt as if they were staring rudely at him.

“Why Pop? Why? Why did you leave me! How could you! I can’t take this pain anymore! My heart hurts Pop! It hurts! What am I going to do?” James shouted into the hot thick air. Tears unrestrained began to flow down the side of his cheeks. He picked up his Dr. Pepper and threw it into the yard. The soda poured out on the ground.

“Why did you have to leave me? You were my best friend. You were all I had. The only one who understood me.” He grabbed the lower part of his shirt with both hands bringing it up to cup his face and dry his tears.

“I wished I would have brought home Jennifer so you could have met her. She is a friend of mine that works in the library. You would have liked her. She would have made you proud. I just didn’t have the courage. Why couldn’t I be more like you. You always had courage.” James hunched over his knees and ran both of his hands through his hair. His hair was oily from the humidity in the air and sweat from his scalp.

James’ heart was pounding at this point and the lump in his throat was tighter now. “I love you Pop. I love you. I will always love you. I will always remember you and everything you taught me – everything you said. I will. I wish I could hear your voice just one more time.”

James stood to his feet staring at the clouds. “Dad?” He paused for a moment and as James turned to go back inside the chimes resurrected a powerful song! The grass began to way and the leaves on the trees began to applaud! A huge gust of wind arose hitting him square in the back bringing a moment of relief from all the heat. James looked back over his shoulder at the clouds that seemed to be moving forward, “Well said Pop, well said.”