Consumption

I lean over my laptop and press the record button, starting my livestream.

“Hi everyone, thanks for joining. Let’s just wait for a few more people… Okay, we can start, I guess. Thanks for tuning in guys, and welcome to another episode of Eat with Eden. Today I’m going to be eating this huge bowl of cold skin noodles and shrimp dumplings. So whether you’re eating along with me or just here for the company, let’s get started.”

I pick up a dumpling and show it to the camera before putting it in my mouth. As I’m chewing, my eyes are laser focused on the livestream’s view count. Two hundred and seventy viewers? Is that it? I shift my gaze to the chatbox. There are only a handful of commenters, my regular viewers who watch all of my streams no matter what.

fencingtiger: looks good

milkyway7: hi eden

kaylalovescake: where’s the food from?

“The food is actually homemade,” I say brightly, twirling a long strand of noodle around my chopsticks. “Andrew made it last night.”

kaylalovescake: wow, you’re so lucky your husband actually cooks!

milkyway7: we love andrew

milkyway7: my husband can barely boil water

volcanooboe: this channel is so boring now…

I stare at the screen in horror, chopsticks frozen halfway to my mouth. Boring? When you’re an online figure, you have to get used to criticism, most of it unconstructive. I’ve been called fat, ugly, stupid, talentless... But BORING???

I remember that I’m still live and quickly compose myself, starting a conversation about a new Netflix show that I haven’t actually seen, but that I know enough about to pretend I’ve seen. The chat moves on, discussing the show, and the offensive message disappears. But as I eat, the word plays over and over in my head - boringboringboringboring.

***

“What are you doing?” Andrew asks, appearing behind me and peering over my shoulder.

“Looking at my analytics,” I reply, scrolling through the page of graphs and figures.

“And?” He prompts.

“And I’m screwed,” I snap, closing my laptop. “My views are down eighty percent. I haven’t had a sponsor in months. At this rate, I’ll have to go back to work.”

When I first started doing mukbangs, Andrew was supportive, even though he didn’t really get it (“People watch you eat online?”). But ever since I quit my job and started doing it full-time, we’ve drifted apart somewhat. I know he thinks I just “eat online”, but it takes more effort than that. I have to plan the videos. I livestream. I edit the livestreams down into shorter videos for my channel. I interact with my viewers. It’s as much work as a ‘real’ job.

“Isn’t it normal for views to fluctuate?” Andrew asks now.

“Not this much,” I say quietly.

“Hey, it’ll be okay. Come and have dinner. I made lasagne.”

“Can you leave me some leftovers? I’ll eat it on live later.”

Andrew looks at me, an expression I can’t place on his face. He sighs. “Okay. No worries.”

***

My usual streams just aren’t getting the traction they used to anymore. I need to try something different.

People want to see something unique, and that’s exactly what I’m going to give them.

“Hi guys! Thanks again for joining me. I wanted to announce a shift in direction for this channel today. I love making these videos, but I think it’s time for something new. So, I’m going to be trying more unique foods rather than just eating my usual dinners on stream. If you have any suggestions for weird foods you want me to try, please let me know! Today, I’m going to be trying weird snacks from around the world.”

milkyway7: we love you eden

kaylalovescake: looking forward to this!

volcanooboe: still boring

I click away at my mouse, deleting the last comment. It’s just a troll. No point in getting worked up about it.

“Okay, so, first snack… I have these dry-roasted crickets, these are from Mexico. Have any of you ever tried crickets? I’m kind of nervous. But they are sweet chili flavoured, so they shouldn’t taste too bad…”

The insect crunches against my teeth, tasting vaguely like grass, but the seasoning makes it more palatable. It’s really not that bad, and I suppose eating insects isn’t that different to eating certain types of seafood. The stream goes relatively well. I move on from crickets to wasabi flavoured KitKats imported from Japan, and finish up with some weird chocolate-covered bacon I found in an American candy store. I get more views than usual, and I see a minor increase in subscribers. But it's not enough. I need to do something bold. Something no-one else is doing.

***

For the first time in months, looking at my analytics page brings me joy rather than despair. I scroll through the current view counts on my most recent videos:

WORLD’S SPICIEST PEPPER MUKBANG (1,003,573 views)

TRYING WEIRD MEATS: KANGAROO, OSTRICH + ZEBRA (2,288,446 views)

ORGAN MUKBANG??? EATING OFFAL FOR THE FIRST TIME (3,182,920)

People loved the video of me eating organs, for some reason. I guess it’s a morbid curiosity. I’d choked down a portion of lamb kidneys, followed by a generous helping of tripe. Apparently offal is really nutritious, but I can’t say I enjoyed it. After turning off the stream, I’d rinsed my mouth out what felt like a hundred times, but I still went to bed with a weird taste in my mouth.

I’ve had an influx of new subscribers and engagement on my videos is high. Most of the comments are positive, and I’m militant about monitoring each video for the negative ones.

Andrew appears in the doorway of my home office, looking like a lost puppy.

“I’ve just put the kettle on,” he says softly. “Do you want a cup of tea?”

“I’m fine, thanks.” I tell him.

“Okay. Do you want to come and watch TV or something?”

“Not right now. I want to do some more research.”

Andrew doesn’t respond, he just nods and leaves the room, closing the door behind him.

I know I’ve been sort of neglecting him lately, but my channel is just so time-consuming. It’s important that I stay on top of trends. Even though my engagement is up, I’m starting to run out of ideas for what to do next.

My phone buzzes, a message from Andrew appearing on the screen. He’s sent me a link to a film, suggesting we go and see it at the weekend. God, I really don’t have time for this right now. His neediness is starting to irritate me.

***

Susan, my mother-in-law, calls just before I start streaming. We get on okay, but she’s a worrier, and privately I’ve always thought she babies Andrew too much.

It took me ages to get her off the phone - she was fretting about not hearing from Andrew all week. I told her he was away with work for a while, which eventually seemed to calm her down. I’m not sure what I’ll tell her next time she calls and still hasn’t heard from him, but I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.

“Hi everyone! Welcome back to Eat with Eden. Something different for you guys today - I’m going to be eating fugu sushi, which is pufferfish. Kind of risky, but I wanted to try something unique!”

It wasn’t easy getting a hold of the fugu. I’d tracked down a specialist fishmonger in East London, who had eyed me suspiciously when I asked if he could source what I was looking for. I think he thought I wanted to use it to kill someone. But once I’d paid up, he provided me with the pufferfish, which I took home and wrapped in rice and nori. My homemade sushi was a little sloppy looking, but my viewers weren’t watching for my food presentation. It tastes fine - in fact, it’s surprisingly bland for a fish that can kill you.

apricottea: omg

catlady12: wtf is this

slytherinprefect: isn’t that poisonous??

kaylalovescake: eden is this safe?

ameliemarie143: is this even legal?

joew7439: love this

My invisible audience watches me consume each sushi roll, wondering if the next piece will be poisonous. It sounds messed up, but it’s not so strange when you really think about it. Is it any different than the people who watch Formula 1, eagerly anticipating a crash? Or the people who get excited when they witness a fight in a bar, entertained by the prospect of a stranger getting their teeth knocked out?

milkyway7: eden, this is getting scary! We love your normal videos, you don’t need to do this crazy stuff!

slytherinprefect: what do we do if she dies on stream?

neptune458: just saw this on the front page, going to subscribe!

More and more comments pour in, filling me with warmth. Some of them are complimentary, some of them concerned, but there’s one in particular that stands out to me as it appears in the chat.

iknowasecret: saw on my local FB group. isn’t this ur husband?

I click on the link they’ve included with the comment, which takes me to a Facebook page. Charlotte Miller. Andrew’s sister. I quickly skim through the post, my heart dropping as words like ‘missing’ and ‘police’ catch my eye.

“Sorry guys, I’m going to have to drop off for a while. I’m having problems with my Wi-Fi.”

I exit the stream and return to Charlotte’s Facebook page. She’s posted a photo of Andrew on the beach during our honeymoon, followed by a paragraph of text.

HAS ANYONE SEEN ANDREW?

I’m posting this as a last resort before we call the police and report Andrew missing. My mother and I have been trying to get in touch with him for a while with no luck. His wife told us that he’s on a work trip, but when we called his office, they said he hasn’t been in since last week. We are really concerned that something is wrong. If anyone has seen or heard from Andrew, PLEASE contact me immediately.

This is the last thing I need right now. I block the user who posted the link, hoping no-one saw the comment before I deleted it.I grab my keys and head for my car. I have a big stream planned for tomorrow, and I don’t want this to get in my way.

***

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY MUKBANG ♥ is the title of today’s stream. I took the meat out of the freezer to defrost last night, the packages neatly labelled with the date and the initials ‘AM’. They took up the entire first two shelves of the freezer. Smaller cuts of meat, marked ‘CM’, fill the bottom shelf.

I gnaw away hungrily, wincing when a piece of gristle makes contact with my teeth. The live chat is flashing rapidly, the messages popping up too quickly for me to read properly. I know I should be talking to my audience, but I’m too engrossed in eating.

starwarsfan21: why isn’t she saying anything?

kaylalovescake: hello??

camelkitten: this is weird

patrickbateman: who spends their wedding anniversary like this?

milkyway7: where’s andrew?

There is a knock at the door. No, not a knock - a heavy banging, like someone is trying to break in. I ignore it, grease dripping down my chin and over my fingers. My view count continues to rise each second, giving me a thrill.

The sound of splintering wood fills my apartment. Then, uniformed men are surrounding me, pulling me up from the floor. I don’t resist. I am still holding a piece of meat in my hand, the flesh chewed all the way down to the bone. A man wrestles it out of my grip and another handcuffs me. As they drag me away, I take one last glance at my monitor, the little red light on my webcam still blinking. Over ten million people are currently watching the stream. The men lead me downstairs and push me into the back of a car. I lean back against the seat and smile to myself. It was all worth it in the end. At least I’ll never be accused of being boring again.

maryandmax: what is going on?

eastcoaster: this is fake, right?

joew7439: it’s probably AI

beachlife95:WTF!!

This livestream has been removed for breaking terms of service.

Trending Topics:

#EatWithEden

#EdenMiller

#AndrewMillerMissing

#mukbang