Welcome home

“Just landed，didn’t take much time at the customs today since I was drown in the crowd there last time. Anyways，waiting for my Grab now，miss the heat so much！” Jadex walks into the heatwave through Gate 4 of Arrival Hall in Suvarnabuhumi Airport，standing right next to the giant “Grab” neon sign and typing this text to Peatchi. It’s been a year，since Jadex visited Thailand last March，pulling himself out of a mess with a week long escape，Bangkok got three days，and a small island near Phuket got the rest. It was a rough trip，enough for a break though. That was what he thought until they met in Bangkok and spent three days together.

“Not a single sign was given back the same time last year you visited that I would type ‘miss you so much’ right now to someone whom I just only spent three days with.” Jadex smiles at the screen of his phone，then slides to Grab to check the plate，keeping his eyes on waiting line.

“Raining whole day here，still freezing，they held a farewell dinner for we interns in a family restaurant，my supervisor turned quite talkative after couple of drinks，and much amicable, but she’s a nice lady after all，just need to showcase properly. Anyways，I just have packed，thinking about weather taking a nap，it’s tricky that the wine I took earlier makes me exciting，but I’m happy，and expecting，a bit nervous honestly，and unreal that now I’m sitting in my dormitory 10000 miles away，waiting for my flight back to Bangkok after six hours，I still have no idea how things lead us here in a year，but I’m happy. ”

Another text delivered，in the car flow towards to the city of Bangkok，Jadex reading in the back of his Grab taxi，thinking of those days last year with Peatchi，“It’s embarrassing to say that I’m a bit overwhelmed now. I’ve lived a dull life for thirty years in that small town，the sky was always grey，bright sunlight was as rare as the sex gay men could have there. I tried to break the deadlock by screwing up everything time to time which turned out only made my life messy out of dullness，the trip to Thailand last year was like something before I throw up the sponge. But now I’m here on my way to your studio，to take the life I have never had，all just because you lent me 200 baht at that street stand，like a teen drama though LOL ”

Jadex clicks “send”，looking out of window along the car exits elevated road，flourishing scenes of the city popping up，somehow makes Jadex beam on with a slight groan，this is the life he wants，living in somewhere summer never ends，to get away from the small town where is always cold and grey，to get away the life he’s been drowning in thirty years. And now，the summer has Peatchi involved.

“I thought it was some prank，I was like ‘what kind of person would eat at a street stand at 1 a.m. with no cash’，luckily you looked decent，and attractive hahahaha，well now look what my 200 baht pays me back —— a sequel of that teen drama 😎”

“I think I might be too excited，no way for nap anyway，I‘m going to take a shower and get ready to the airport. Oh by the way，just show your passport to the concierge of the building to enregister，I’ve inform them in advance，it’s all set，and you know the password entering my studio，actually you know all the password of every part of me. And，welcome home 💗”

The smile is not able to fade away from Jadex’s face once he reading Peatchi’s texts. The neighbourhood of Peatchi’s studio is like a trigger，all the memories they had here burst into his head as the car driving into the block. Jadex stayed two nights at Peatchi‘s place. Peatchi took him exploring the city during the day，then spent the whole night at home，they talked，had sex，ordered delivery，revealed the deepest wounds，played their favourite music，they laughed、sobbed、looking at each other silently and kissed，it was like they have taken the other’s whole life in two nights，unreal and fulfilled.

“Just got in，lying on the couch，tired but with the same excitement as you are，thinking of holding your hands in less than 24 hours. Every single day in the past year，this is a solid goal for me，like an anchor that keep me hold and pull myself together，but the unrealness coming up now as I‘m sitting here，it’s really happening，like the night a year ago，we talked about everything，it never came to my mind that there‘s someone would like to sit in front of me and listen to the dullness I told，take a visit to my life，which sparkling the grey days when I as back at home，sometimes，well it’s a bit embarrassed，sometimes it tuned to fear from the happiness of those nights，‘isn’t it just an illusion’、‘did I get it wrong’ or ‘is it too good to be true，is there something bad afterwards’，thoughts like that popping up time to time，Gees I sound like a teenager… alright，I’m going for a shower as well，do you take shuttle bus or taxi to the airport？” As said so though in the text，Jadex has no will to get up，just huddling himself and falling asleep in the couch.

“Got two huge suitcases，plus it’s too cold to walk almost a mile and wait 20 minutes outdoor at the shuttle bus stop，got my Uber already. You know I’m an atheist but I have to say there must be something out there setting up things at the night we met，then with everything coming up afterwards —— two strangers got along unexpectedly well，how odd，we just met and I enjoyed being with you. Perhaps things that cannot be figured out with any logical reasons all attribute to magic I guess.”

The screen of Jadex’s phone is lighten up by Peatchi‘s text，then goes off after a few seconds. Jadex hasn’t had a sleep comfy and relaxed for quite some time.

“I’m about to boarding soon，hope you suit yourself well there，snacks、drinks and stuff are in the kitchen ,I bought several months ago before I left，or you know where to eat around my block，restaurants and bars we’ve been to are still there，haven’t changed much. Ah boarding now，I’ll take some melatonin after I settled in my seat，hope it helps for me to sleep along till Bangkok. Finally，we are going to take the life like we imagined a year ago，none of us would believe at that time but here we are. You’re sleeping，aren’t you？Wish you take a good rest out of jet lag cuz we have quite a while to spend in bed after my arrival 😈 See you at home.”

Jadex just got awake，takes some time to come around，to make sure it’s not a dream at present. He finds some water in the fridge，drinking next to it. Jadex sits back to the couch，thinking of something，then flush and smile raising on his face simultaneously. “Well I remember we had much more fun in the couch by then，did we？I fell asleep，for hours I guess，you are probably fly over Middle East now if departure on time. Found some water in your fridge，I’ll do some cleaning later，then get some food around. I’ll get myself decent and attractive，waiting in the arrival hall. It’s a long way for me to get here，I want to make it solid，I want you to have me here once you arrived. Welcome home，love.”

For all the time along Jadex never felt the sense of belonging to that small town he was born and grew up，now he settled himself 10000 thousand miles away. Take out shoes、clothes、toothbrush、books from suitcase，put them in the closet、bathroom、bookshelf，organizing everything in Peatchi‘s apartment，he feels tranquil，for the first time there’s somewhere he feels belonging to，like a final destination which he’s seeking for so long，and now he have an opportunity to build a solid life as he wants，with someone.