The Dreaded Writing Assignment

The Dreaded Writing Assignment

By Heather David

"I should have known better!"

The Author clenched her fist and sighed as she stomped up the stairs to her bedroom. She had wanted nothing more than to go out for coffee with friends. But as usual, her parents put down the homework first rule. She had tried every excuse in the book, but her mother would not hear it.

"It's a school night, therefore homework first, then TV," said her mother as she pointed to the stairs.

"Daddy?...." She tried weakly.

Her dad did not look up as he said, "Homework first. Now go."

With a huff, she did as she was told.

"I should have known they would do that!" She muttered as she rummaged through her book bag. "No point in prolonging the inevitable." The Author looked at the clock. "Maybe if I hurry I'll still have time."

After tackling her math, and studying for a test, it was time for creative writing. Her stress level shot sky high. She was trying to write a short story, but her characters were doing anything but cooperating. The Beautiful Princess was flirting with the Evil Wizard. The Handsome Prince could not stop stuffing his face with tacos. While the Prince's horse was making friends with a skunk.

"Come on, guys, I'm on a time crunch here!" said the Author. She turned to the Princess. "You're not supposed to like him! He's the bad guy."

The Princess smiled at the Evil Wizard. Instead of looking like a black haired Gandalf, he looked like he could pass for the Prince's twin brother (and had a strong resemblance to the boy she was crushing on at school).

"Why not? He's cute, and he is good at magic." She gestured at the Prince. "He looks so boring."

The Author rolled her eyes. The way the Prince wolfed down taco after taco reminded her of her big brother on Taco Tuesday.

"He's not boring! He's just waiting for you guys to get started, so I can finish my homework. Am I right?"

The Prince looked up but could not speak around his taco. The Author took her pencil and erased it.

"Hey! I was eating that!" protested the Prince.

"You are supposed to be saving the Princess from the Evil Wizard!" said the Author. "And you," she turned to the Wizard, "you're supposed to kidnap her!"

The Evil Wizard smiled back at the Princess and kissed her hand. "Already got her, so story's over."

"I like how this story is going," said the Princess as she cupped the Wizard's cheek. "Where is the books' end?"

"Princess!" cried the Author. "He doesn't really like you! He's only marrying you so he can steal your kingdom's fortune!"

The Princess turned on her new love interest and gasped. "Is that true?!"

The Wizard's smile was both flirtatious and evil. "Well I am the villain." He ran a hand through his magical hair. "But that's what you love about me, isn't it, Baby?"

The Princess' lip quivered as she backed away and began to cry. "But you said you like my burritos!"

The Wizard clutched his stomach, stuck out his tongue and gagged. "You mean those disgusting bricks you filled with your bean goop!? Gross!"

The Princess cried, while the Prince came over and handed her a handkerchief.

"There, there, my darling. I don't care whether you are royalty or not. I love you!"

The Princess blushed as she smiled at him. "You really mean that?"

The Handsome Prince got on bent knee and took her hand. "Baby, my heart has burned for you from the first time I got heartburn from your delicious burritos!"

The Princess beamed with joy. "I love you too! And I am a big fan of tacos as well."

The Prince stood up. "Don't forget Mexican lasagna."

"Oh! And taquitos," said the Princess. "They're cute and delicious."

"Mexican pizza is the bomb!" declared the Prince. "And you can't forget good old churros."

The Princess fanned herself. "You are definitely the man for me!"

"What!?" cried the Evil Wizard. "I thought you loved me!"

The Princess glared at him. "With your own lips, you confessed you just wanted my father's fortune, and that you hate my burritos! We are so through!"

The Author rolled her eyes. "Glad to hear it. Are we ready to get started, people?"

The characters all raised their fists and cried, "Yes!"

Thus the Author wrote the story of how the Evil Wizard kidnapped the Beautiful Princess (hoping to win her back after shoving his foot in his mouth medium rare). How the Handsome Prince, Taco in hand, mounted his horse and raced off to save her. How when he arrived, he and the Wizard fought fiercely for the Princess' freedom. Then how the Prince triumphed with a surprise helper. The skunk, whom his horse had befriended, turned out to be a skunk fairy. It sprayed the Evil Wizard with a smell so horrible, all his minions plugged their noses and ran off. He tried to attack the Prince with a fireball, but found that even his magic had been skunked away. Thus he ran off, hoping someone could give him a bath in tomato juice.

The story then ended with the Prince carrying the Princess back to his kingdom. Where, to the characters delight, the Author had them open the biggest Mexican restaurant in the kingdom, and enjoyed tacos ever after.

When the Author finally threw down her pencil, she sighed and ran her hand through her hair.

"My teacher should have known better then to give me so much homework. But I admit it was fun, now that I've reached the end that is." She looked at the clock. "Looks like there will be time for coffee with friends after all." With a spring in her step, the Author grabbed her purse, and ran downstairs. The story did end happily too. For not only did she get a coffee outing with friends, the Author's teacher gave her an A+.

THE END