Prison's Television

“The breeze may not gust upon me, it makes me wonder. When you are with meー when I am with you, the candescent sun seems to rise just to glimpse the existence more dazzling than the brightest star...”

“Stop! Stop!” The world I created for myself broke as the deafening voice echoed through the four sides of the hall.

“Your emotions... I can't see your emotions! There's only a week left until our performance. Are you saying this is all you've got? Lamentable!” Again. This is the tenth time this happened. I saw the exhausted looks of my colleagues. They are wearing a smiling mask, fearing that they would be next.

There will be a moment in every person's life. A moment you will meet an individual more fiercer than a raging bull, towards you; albeit you not wearing red. In this case, the President's abhorrence dawn from envy.

An imploring gaze landed on me. It was hers. I cocked my head to meet the cold floor. I am her friend. Iー we know her capabilities. She's the best actress among us here, even a dog with little intelligence could tell. Her lines that seemed to be written for her to mutter; her expression that awakens your urge to protect her. It's a pity that the president does not know several words such as 'fairness'.

Upon giving back a response to her gaze, I saw her smile. If I would see a smile of a saint, it might be comparable to hers. No hatred nor resentment could be seen. It was an apologetic smile, awkward even.

“No, I'm very sorry. I will do my best this time...” She gave each of us a look and apologized. I always thought that admitting your mistake then apologizing is a noble act. However, conceding that you are wrong even though you are not is just plain stupidity, a vulnerability.

“Everyone ready. With perfection this time, wait for your dialogues!” As everyone nodded their heads, I caught a sinister grin beside me. It is the play's protagonist, Nise.

“What a marvelous day it is! Don't you agree, Lara? The trees are especially exquisite today. Perhaps taking walk here would become my entertainment from now on.” Nise's grin are nowhere, perhaps it only existed in my imagination? Her smile is completely different. I have seen a beam parallel to that of a saint. Maybe this is my lucky day? Upon seeing Nise's smile, I saw a succubus.

“You are completely right, Flora...” The dialogues between the two continued. Nise as the leading character named Flora, and my friend as Laraー a pitiful companion of Flora who reeks of insecurity. The two of them makes me believe that I have no part in this play.

Comes a scene where Lara have to monologue again. Her moon-shaped eyes that gazed upon Flora is gone. She is doing very well, as usual.

“I feel like I exist in this world just to chase after you. Only to be your shadow. A servant. The gust of wind, the dazzling sun and even the skies! It's all yours... just give me back myself.” A drop of water traveled through her cheeks. Before dropping at the floor, it was hit by the lights that give it myriads of colorsー similar to a rainbow. It was such a majestic moment that I felt pain.

Her acting is beyond words. Albeit acting only a supporting role, this stage... is hers. Not Nise's, not the president and most of all, not mine.

One cannot stop time, that's not true. Memories are a reflection of a stopped time. It is stucked there forever, never going forward. Just like how my past months of practice is still in my headー I am ready for the performance. Months of practice and now, I can stand for a very long time. Now, I would be a perfect tree.

“Is everybody ready?” The yell of our president is louder than usual. It contains anxiousness, yet a tinge of excitement.

“YES!” We all answered.

“I never thought you hold those feelings for me, Lara. I...”

Nise's voice cracked. She seems to be having a hard time speaking, what a great actress!

“Do not speak much more, Flora! I am afraid I am exhausted. Not just from you, but from this world! Everything revolves around you, are you the sun? Even the bird sings just for you, have you not notice? This world is yours! I want mine, I want my world too. I am sick of this invisible shackles.” The great abomination is not missed, it is clear from her voice. The clenching of her teeth makes everyone uncomfortable. Lara finally drawn a knife from her side.

The crowd's reactione was full of anticipation. Likewise, I am standing at the edge of the stage with great expectation. No matter how many times I watch them practice this last scence, I cannot help but feel amaze every single time.

“Are you trying to... Lara! I do not need anything. Our friendship is enough for me...”

“Being friends is being equal. I never, not even once did I felt that we are the same. I am always one step behind. This is the only thing I can do to make sure I become the best in the whole world! I will take your life, Flora.”

***

“Your career starts from a play called 'The Sun', is that right?” A bright smile entered the television, it hasn't changed at all.

“Woah, is that a goddess?”

“She's so beautiful...”

I chuckled and brag, “I was with her in that play.”

“We all know that! You brag about it whenever she makes an appearance.” I smiled and shrugged. Ah, good old days.

What happened after the play? Countless of offers came to her. She was like an unknown flower with a sweet scent and absolute appearance having her first blooming. The bees and butteflies were flocking around her. As for me, I have none. I was only a tree after all. Who would praise me for standing at the stage for hours? No one. Trivial thing such as standing does not deserve any compliment.

After the play, I cried a river. At first, I thought it was because of her great performance. I was wrong. I knew the reason why the rain did not stop that day, my tears. It was because I am like Laraー I am Lara...

I thought I conviced myself for sure. But no, I did not. Deep inside, I am Lara. I wished to kill the protagonist of my life. Her.

I did. I killed her. She. Her. My friend, tasted death with my hands.

“Yes, I am the protagonist of that play named Flora.”