Magnetic Potential

“Claire, is that you?”

Eliza paused at the intersection as the sound of her twin sister’s name initiated the familiar static of hope that arced up her spine.

Spinning towards the man who had called to her, Eliza let the people behind her on the busy city street go around her. The late afternoon sun beat down on the crowded, narrow streets. An ambulance blocked one of the lanes, the rush hour traffic behind it beeping in frustration. Eliza glanced one more time at her phone and the unopened invitation to happy hour, then dropped her phone into her bag and wrapped her arms around her waist.

The well-dressed older man made his way through the crowded street, his suit’s formality glaring against the overflowing trashcan behind him. As he approached, his apologetic smile grew as he realized his mistake.

“Oh, I am sorry! I thought you were the young lady that used to serve me breakfast at Main Street Cafe.” He murmured, his voice nostalgic, but gritty, like sandpaper against her taut skin.

Embarrassed at his mistake, he turned quickly and followed the current of pedestrians across the street and disappeared as the signal changed to DON’T WALK.

“Wait!” Eliza cried after him, frozen on the crowded sidewalk, “Who are you?”

New pedestrians approached the intersection, staring curiously at her transfixed body. Goosebumps shivered along her arms and electricity buzzed through her body.

Eliza watched the disappearing man and then looked towards her lonely apartment. The subtle burn began deep in her stomach, the quiet warning that urged caution. Then, Eliza looked behind her.

“Main Street Cafe” hummed through her body.

Closing her eyes, Eliza felt the burn in her stomach turn into familiar pains of hope. After more than a decade of searching, Eliza’s desperation grew.

“Claire!” erupted out of her throat and propelled Eliza forward down the busy sidewalk.

The surprised pedestrians gathering at the crosswalk stepped out of her way as she pushed through them, mumbling and shaking their heads, “Who does she think she is?”

Eliza’s heartbeat pulsed in her ears as she ran down the street, her feet slapping against the hot summer pavement as she lengthened her stride. She raced past the double-parked ambulance, determined to reach her sister before she could once again slip through her fingertips.

Eliza ignored her burning lungs, focusing on her heartbeat as her feet slapped against the broken concrete. “Be there this time, Claire, please!” She begged.

Sirens ripped through the narrow streets as the ambulance streaked through the red light, as the frustrated pedestrians at the intersection watched the signals flash from WALK to DON’T WALK.

Eliza slid to a stop at the edge of the growing group of pedestrians. Bending over to catch her breath, she squeezed her eyes shut, “Please,” she prayed.

Finally, she pried open her eyes, her skin now an electrical fire. Her scalp itching, her body encased in a magnetic swirl, Eliza scanned the brick building across the street. Squinting in confusion at the giant smiling pictures of real estate agents where the sign once was, tears began to well in her eyes. The building was empty and the boarded doors were layered with graffiti.

Blindly, she pushed past the crowd and rushed into the street, ignoring the DON’T WALK signal. Angry drivers slammed on their brakes and one man screamed out of his window, “Are you for real, lady?”

Eliza paused halfway across the intersection, ignoring the angry drivers honking as they inched around her. Hope withered into predictable disappointment with a stabbing pain in her heart. “For Rent" signs spanned the darkened windows.

“You’re not here.” She whispered, oblivious to the cars skidding to a stop and hurling insults at her.

Eliza forced one foot in front of the other, her hand pressed against her knotted abdomen, elbowing past the people on the sidewalk waiting for the signal to change. Anger bubbled up before bursting out of her mouth as a sob, “You are never here!”

The pedestrians avoided her entirely. Oblivious to the disgusted stares and comments, Eliza tensely clutched her bag to her body and continued her approach to the empty cafe window, pulled towards her reflection like a magnet. Eliza stared at the unfamiliar woman inches away from her reflected in the vacant window.

As the long moments stretched, Eliza felt her heartbeat begin to slow and her feet start to ache. Shame slowly built-up Eliza’s neck as she registered the insults hurled at her during her dangerous dart across the street.

Finally, Eliza understood the truth.

No one would look for her if she disappeared.

Meeting her reflection’s gaze once more, Eliza whispered an apology to them both, “I can't keep chasing after you, sister, I am sorry.”

Standing up straighter, Eliza’s tears slowly began to dry as she looked back at the busy city street behind her. Wrapping her arms around her waist, embarrassment coloring her cheeks as she replayed her frantic dash in her head and realized that she had done it again.

Eliza returned her gaze to her reflection. Slowly, she raised her hand and placed it gently on her reflection’s tear-stained cheek. Her reflection stared silently back at her.

With a small smile, Eliza leaned against her reflection’s forehead. “Be happy, sister,” she whispered, pressing her cheek against the sun-warmed glass.

Eliza sighed deeply as she dropped her hand to her side. The window reflected the cars and pedestrians flowing smoothly through the intersection behind her.

Staring into her own reflected eyes, Eliza took a deep breath, and asked herself gently, “Who are you?”

The aching silence stretched between Eliza and her reflection until she felt her heartbeat relax and a slow, hopeful smile responded. After another deep breath, Eliza shook her head and laughed, embarrassed as she wiped off her tears with her shirt. Glancing around, she laughed gently at her relief that no one had paid any attention to her.

Spinning, Eliza reached for her phone as she rejoined the pedestrians crossing the street as the WALK sign flashed.