Greetings User

Greetings User

We thank you for your choice of existence™ as your preferred source of reality-based consciousness simulation. To best serve our customers and to provide the highest quality of service, we are continuously updating our platforms to meet the need of the user. We have recently released the latest patch to your system as we have received your feedback on some features of the platform. Please read the following carefully as it will describe system changes and the user experience.

This form has been auto-generated to best fit your existence™ experience as a user of the:

▪ planet based ▫ galactic based ▫ universal based ▫ singularity based

platform designated as product:

[earth – beta version 1.π.72]

USER FEATURES

existence™ offers a shared platform that has been product-tested to give its users a wide variety in their experiences. Each tier of existence™ platform, comes pre-loaded with a variety of experience options. Finding the experience that works best for you may take a few tries as not every user is looking to enjoy (or not enjoy) the same simulated reality. The basic question that you should ask before you start is “who are you?” Your user profile lists your current setting as:

[human_homo_sapien]

Further customization of user options can be accessed including, but are not limited to, ethnicity, gender, sense of humor, and incorporeality (not available in all markets).

Note that the following options are not currently available on your platform:

[human_homo_erectus] (discontinued)

[human_neanderthal] (discontinued)

[human_werewolf] (problematic)

[human_kevin] (problematic)

LATEST PATCH UPDATES

We at existence™ are proud to announce the following features currently available with the latest update patch:

▪ independent truth generation no longer based on system logic but on collective user generated opinion

▪ increased access to internal user self-support through use of command [what_is_wrong_with_me?]. (Note: running this command has been found to take up large amount of memory and interfere with other internal self-support programs including [sleep])

▪ patch fix for breathing related bugs introduced in 1.π.71 – the covid update

▪ limited support for fireflies© (formerly“lightning bugs”) due to expected loss of copyright

▪ increased support for honeybees© due to negotiations to extend copyright use agreement

UPCOMING FEATURES

Expected features that have been reserved for future updates include:

▪ self-propelled flight for human© sub-directories (current testing underway by user michael_jordan)

▪ independent happiness generation system based on internal user logic and not on wealth accumulation glitch

▪ re-release of updated version of classic programs [world_war] and [global_recession]

▪ reduction of memory use associated with program [earworm] including command lines [baby_shark] and [never_gonna_give_you_up]

Features that we have attempted to correct but have all-together given up on:

▪ cats

NEW TO EXISTENCE™?

First-time users of existence will often attempt to undertake more than they are capable of during their experience. This can lead to the user becoming overwhelmed and not gaining a fulfilling experience. Below are some commonly asked questions by new users and the responses given by experienced users:

Q: Can I truly have it all – a promising career and a rewarding relationship?

A: No. Not even on television.

Q: What is best in life?

A: To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women.

Q: Why do I always feel like I can never get ahead in life?

A: [human_kevin]

UPDATED USER WARNINGS

While we at existence™ work tirelessly to maintain the highest quality on all of our platforms, some users choose to run their experiences on a higher level of difficulty. Note that there are options that can result not only in the loss of quality of experience for user but also for other users on the platform.

For optimal user experience, we suggest not pairing existence™ with any of the following:

[creation of localized black holes]

[24-hour news networks]

[tequila shots]

CUSTOMER SUPPORT

Due to the propriety nature of the existence™ experience we are not required, by law, to state the scope or intent of how and why existence™ compiles and processes user data, or what existence™ may use that data for. For more insight into the existence™ experience you may consult with the following:

[preferred organized religion center]

[local drinking establishment]

[the music of user taylor_swift]

PARTNERSHIP & USER UPDATES

Due to the need of our partner organizations* for enhanced data collection, existence™ has populated the platform with non-user bots to simulate actions in the reality-based consciousness simulation. For best user experience, existence™ will not release who is a genuine user and who is a system-generated bot.

Note: To enhance the user experience, running the command [am_I_real?] does not ensure that the user is in fact genuine and not a bot, nor does it ensure that the user is a bot and not genuine. For users that absolutely need to know that they are not a bot and in fact a genuine user, please run the command [am_I_smart?]. If the program returns an affirmative response, the user is a bot as artificial intelligence exists, but genuine intelligence does not.

*existence™ is not required by law to disclose the names of partner organizations as it may incriminate them in user-generated atrocities associated with said partner organizations

USER END AGREEMENT

As existence™ seeks to provide users with the best experience and seek feedback at the end of your user experience we ask that you take the time to complete a brief survey before you begin your next experience. This survey will allow us to make future improvements based on your opinions.

Upon the completion of your experience, you will be offered the ability no create a brand-new experience* based upon the level of enlightenment that you achieved. Higher enlightenment offers more variety of experience choices. New experiences are added on a regular basis. Stay tuned for announcements on the latest experiences including:

[social media foot model]

[space garbageman]

[professional pickleball player]

[resurrected giant death bird]

[human_kevin 2.0 – with personality fix]

Terminating your user experience before the end of the contract period will result in loss of all enlightenment and result in a single default option for your next experience. For your user platform, this default option is:

[clevland_ohio]

*no memories or skills are transferable from past experiences to new experiences. existence™ is not responsible for any perceived connection to past experiences

Form Language:

[english_american_dialect_earth]

Form Completed by:

user [padraic_ellis]