Recalibration: Failed

The Eternal Observer tasked me with a new body. The instructions were simple - get her through the next few days. I was honored for the opportunity. Usually, only the most experienced of us did these assignments. Earth beings were unpredictable, contradictory...fascinating.

A doorway opens and I step through. A long tunnel where time does not exist, and I am behind her eyes. I open them and look around.

These first few moments are always jarring before I can access their memory banks. I look around, assessing the situation.

I am lying in a sparsely decorated room. There are empty bedside tables, and the room smells musty, yet familiar to this body. A room that has no character.

I listen carefully, and I am alone. I feel my body; all systems are functional, despite some aches and dry eyes.

My mouth is parched, and I want to hydrate. I can wait a few moments to get a drink. I didn’t want to encounter any humans until the memories kicked in.

A voice enters my head. It’s #17 - There is something wrong with the memory transfer. Integration might take longer than expected. Just hang in there while I recalibrate the system.

The voice is gone and I am alone again.

Sometimes I enjoyed this situation, the thrill of the mystery; trying to piece things together. I notice in the full-length mirror that I am a woman, maybe in her 30s. The hair was messy, eyes dull and hollow.

Cautiously I listen at the door, nothing to note. It feels empty on the other side. There is pressure on the bladder. I must leave this room for basic functions.

The door creaks open, and I peek outside. There is a hallway and I look up and down, the left leading to a living area, to the right is a toilet. I go inside. It feels great to get the urine out.

Before flushing I note the dark orange colour. Too concentrated.

I move down the hallway, entering a living room containing worn furniture. It smells musty here, like a thousand tobaccos have been smoked in this room. This body does not crave any. Another being perhaps?

The next room holds a large dining table. Letters and junk mail sit in the middle. The kitchen is to the left and I enter looking for the hydration station.

I open four cupboards before finding a coffee mug. I watch the H2O fill the mug from the faucet. Once the water hits this mouth, I drink and drink until it’s gone. I refill it and look at the letters on the dining table.

There are three official looking letters and a classic motorcycle magazine; all addressed to Eric Davidson. He must be the houses caretaker.

I see a women's handbag casually hung on one of the dining chairs. Maybe this is mine? I open the bag and find a purse. I check the license. The photo looks like the woman I am inhabiting. The name underneath is Kate Davidson.

Ok, so my name is Kate and I am related to the house caretaker. The address on my license does not match the address on the letters.

A framed photo on the sideboard that has an older man, two young men and a bride. They are dressed formally. It takes a moment until I realise the bride is Kate, me. I look at my hands, no wedding ring, but an indent of where it could have been.

She looks so happy and beautiful compared to what I saw in the mirror.

The man next to me must be my husband. The older man could be my father, and the other young man has very similar facial features to this body, so I figure he is my brother or cousin.

I go back to the handbag and find a phone. Bingo! I attempt to turn it on, but the screen just shows a red battery symbol.

I look around for a charger and find one in the dining room. There is already a phone plugged in. I take it out and the display picture is of a motorcycle. My fingerprint can't unlock it. This is likely Erics. I plug my phone in to charge.

The house is quiet and tidy. Is Eric the groom in the picture, my husband? Probabilistically not. My address on the license should mirror the letters address. He must be my potential brother/cousin or father.

I look out the window, all I see are trees. It seems so peaceful. I see a small red shed, a short walk from the house. I weird feeling emerges from this body. Hot and tight. This body wants to go there but also...doesn’t.

As if my observation is a catalyst - howling emerges from the shed. It sounds so mournful. Eric must have a dog. My ears cannot stand the noise, and I have to investigate. The door is padlocked. I call out to the sad creature. “Don’t worry, I'll be back!” I head back to the house.

I need to find the key. Standing in the front entry, I don’t know where to start. This body might know...I close my eyes and let myself move instinctively. I must know this house intimately because I move efficiently, despite blindness. I feel a cool handle and pull and rummage. I open my eyes and there is a set of keys in my hands.

Amazing! I thank the Eternal Oberserver.

The creature in the shed sounds tired now. The third key I try successfully turns the padlock. Swinging the heavy wooden door, a foul smell hits my nose holes. Eyes look up. Dog immediately sits up from the ground mattress, tensing and growling in my direction. I approach it carefully, hands up, making reassuring noises at it. “Good boy, its ok, good boy”

A flicker of recognition in its eyes, and it calms down. It thumps its tail on the mattress twice and lays down again, looking directly into me. I can understand why humans loved wolves. Their eyes were so similar to earth beings.

I give Dog a pat and it thumps its tail even harder. It looks so old. Poor thing had knocked its water receptacle over. “Oh dear, I'll get you some more”

In the kitchen, I fill my empty mug, considering the creature could need sustenance too.

There is raw bovine flesh on a plate inside the refrigerator.

I’m not sure if this is appropriate, but it feels right.

I enquire to #17 about the ETA on recalibration.

#17- Recalibration has failed. We are currently running it in duplicate. If unsuccessful, I might have to reboot the system. I will be offline for a while if it comes to that

Dog looks at me while I refill its water. It sits up with some effort and drinks greedily. I place the meat on the ground near the mattress. I pat his head and mutter “Gooood boooy” elongating the words until he closes his eyes, breathing steadily. I exit the shed, not sure if I should lock the door. I close it over until I can understand the situation.

Earth had revolved 16 degrees. Starlight has shifted in the sky.

I take a long draw of the atmosphere into my air holes.

I check the phone, mostly charged now. I crouch down and my fingerprint ID works!

I go to the messages. I see Eric’s name - third down - and open it.

Sent by Kate 56 days ago -

Heya dad, on my way! See you soon xx

So, Eric is Kate’s father…

He had responded

Let yourself in love, I’ll be back around 3 after band practice.

I must have been here for that long. I think my coupling with the groom had failed. Maybe that is why Kate is staying in this house?

I check outside looking for my mode of transportation. There is a large grey SUV parked to the side and a blue Hatchback in a car port.

Both look like they drive. The Hatchback is unlocked. Inside, the now familiar musty cigarette smell wafts out; this must be Eric’s. It’s clean otherwise. I try the SUV but it is locked.

I settle on the couch with Kate's phone.

There is a knock on the front door and I freeze, hoping they will go away.

But it’s too late, I see a small blonde lady peeking through the window.

She waves and calls out “Katie!”

I open the front door. An older woman embraces me in a hug.

“I wasn’t sure if you were going to be home.”

I return her smile and ask, “How are you?”

“Oh, you know, same old, same old.” She is holding a wicker basket with long green photosynthesis food.

“I am just bringing some cucumbers from the garden.” She hands them to me and I thank her. My stomachs clenches and my mouth waters. I bite directly into one. It’s bitter and wet. She laughs and I make eye contact; grateful for the sustenance.

She seems satisfied. We stand there awkwardly until I invite her inside.

“Where’s Eric darling?”

I don’t know what to say. I don't think he is at band practice, and his vehicle and communication device are here.

I consider my answer and keep it as real as possible.

“I don’t know, I just woke up and haven't seen him.” I take a risk - “Maybe gone for a walk?”

The corners of her mouth go down slightly and her eyes widen

“On his own?”

I can’t think of anything else, so I move my shoulders upward. This somehow satisfies her. I offer her water and she agrees. She accepts it generously but seems displeased with the mug receptacle.

She looks at me with kindness and touches my arm gently “And how are you doing Katie?”

I have no idea what she is looking for in an answer so I stick to what I know this time.

“My shoulders are a bit sore, but otherwise all systems stable.”

She cocks her head.

“Is everything going ok with Seb?”

I don’t know who Seb is. I avoid eye contact.

She continues “It must be so hard... when I broke up with my ex-husband it took me years to feel like myself again.”

Ah-ha! Seb must be my ex-groom.

“How long ago was that again?”

“Ohhh eons love! Trust me it'll get easier.”

She pats my arm and I smile at her.

She swallows her water “Well better get going. Come up the road for a cuppa, anytime!”

She grabs her basket and I say goodbye. I watch her as she walks down the driveway.

She must be a neighbour.

Where could Eric be? The neighbour doesn't think he went for a walk.

His car and phone are here. I reach out to #17 Any luck?

No answer. They must be rebooting the system.

I look through my phone again, concentrating on messages with Seb.

Recent ones are emotionless and a matter of fact.

A shrill noise comes from a phone in the dining room; obtrusive and loud. It’s white and wired.

I pick up the receiver, thankfully stopping the offensive noise.

A faint voice reverberates out.

I listen - “Hello... Katie, Katie - you there?”

I nod.

“Hello?! Is that you Eric?”

Oh, they can’t see me “No, it's Kate?”

“Oh thank god it’s you Kate. What’s going on? I just checked your voicemail.”

I reply “Sorry; I can’t hear properly? Who is this?”

“Kate. It’s Seb. Are you ok? I’m worried about you.”

My body relaxes.

Words escape my wind hole before I can filter them “No" I gasp "Things are hard”

That was strange, but I am tired. This is the longest I have ever gone before integration.

“Sit tight, I’ll be there soon.”

“When?” I ask, desperately hoping I will get her memories beforehand.

“Leaving now”

A click and he is gone.

I called him last night and worried him. Maybe she wanted to reconcile, maybe she wasn’t coping.

#17 come in! Please more human interaction upcoming.

I am met with static.

I am starting to panic. This interaction is going to take more skill than the neighbour.

I frantically go through Kate's phone. It seems she had ended the relationship. It is unclear why. His responses are long at the beginning and then shorter and more clinical closer to the current date. I am brought out of my intense concentration by the crunch of tires on the gravel driveway; Seb must be here.

Outside I greet him, resigned to improvisation. A man exits the car, rounder than the groom in the wedding picture, drawn eyes down and shoulders up. “Hey” he says softly.

Before I can answer, Dog whimpers from the shed. Seb looks up sharply “What’s that?” He doesn’t wait for a response, turning towards the shed. I hope he knows what to do with this pitiful wolf descendent.

He opens the heavy door and freezes in the entryway. He comes back to me; his face is white.

“What's going on Katie?” His voice controlled, yet his eyes intense and almost wild.

I lost control of my voice. Words tumble out of my mouth. I tell him everything that I am not supposed to – that #17 is busy, the recalibration didn’t work. The system reboot is in progress. That I have come from the center of this universe.

I try to shut this off, but this body doesn’t stop. I am going against protocol, unable to take charge. My body is reacting to Sebs presence. No wonder elites usually handle these assignments. My confession has frozen him, I think he has gone offline.

Salty water runs down my face. Seb finally restarts. He wraps me in his arms. I sob with such intensity now, my legs give out, and we move to the ground, rocking back and forth. An ocean of exhaustion envelops me, and I lose consciousness.

Bright lights and a large van. A burley paramedic gently leads me to a stretcher, and I am placed in the back of an ambulance. I comply, too exhausted. One of the paramedics pricks my arm. Fragments of a one-sided conversation from outside “Does she have a history of..”. Seb looks like he wants to cry “...did the right thing...”.

A coldness moves up my arm. My body immediately relaxes and I feel so light, like I am floating. Another noisy stretcher slides in next to me with Dog there, lying on the white hard mattress. It stares into my eyes, and my body takes comfort in that.

In the corner of my vision his head slowly morphs, snout receding. Back legs elongating, front paws turning into hands. Pink skin replacing the dark fur.

An old man stares at me from the stretcher. He looks like the older man in the wedding picture, Eric - Kate’s father, but he is leaner, more wrinkled and greyer.

Infinite memories hit me all at once. Finally! The relief that I am integrating is invigorating. Now I can handle this. Thank you #17!

I open the peskiest memory; it is flashing red and needs immediate attention.

****

I served Dad his pumpkin soup. He smiled “Thanks Suzy.” That was my mother's name.

I had given up correcting him weeks ago. It was too painful, seeing him contort with grief when he learned that he wouldn’t see her again.

He looked at his spoon curiously. I helped him eat. “You look so tired Suze. I wish you would quit the hospital. We will get through dear; we don’t need the money.” My mother used to work as a nurse.

I felt so helpless, exhausted. The smoke alarm had gone off at 3 this morning. Dad was trying to cook but got distracted by the TV. I wished he could look after me, and not the other way around. I accidentally cried.

He looked at me with concern, and something shifts. “Katie. “ I looked up, finally he is back. Lucid. Increasingly rare.

He looked frightened and sad. A conviction came over him “If I were a dog, I would be put out of my misery...” I knew what he was asking. I shuddered.

A memory of old dog, Joey, from when I was a kid. I had found him, amongst the trees, prone and panting. He had been bitten by a snake, and the venom was destroying him from the inside.

Dad, rifle in hand, told us to wait inside. We huddled in a room, torturously anticipating the loud bang. We all cried together in that dark room. I knew I could never do that, to him, to anyone.

“No Dad.” I said gently, this was too much. My tears intensified. “I can’t...”

He looked disappointed. His voice gentle “You need some sleep love. Please put me into the shed for tonight, there's a padlock on the sideboard. Use that. I'll be fine, you don’t have to worry about me” Nope. I shook my head, pleading with my eyes.

He gave me a hard stare, growling “Do it! I will not be disobeyed!”. I startled, my body automatically moving towards the sideboard.

I complied, making it as comfortable as possible for him on the old mattress. I closed the door. The click of the padlock echoing through the night air. The memory stops there, and I shoot back to the present.

****

The white roof of the ambulance comes in and out of focus. The siren almost lyrical now. Dad is lying on the stretcher next to me.

“I’m sorry” I whisper over and over. Dad’s frail hand reaches mine. Warm and dry. The pressure on my fingers loosens and tightens.

I blink but now the stretcher is empty. Or maybe it always was?

I close my eyes before I can decide.