Ghost Q&A session

“Aaaand we are back with another live.” A barely visible boy with blue eyes, brown curly hair and freckles waves. “Welcome back to my channel and for the first-timers - hi, I’m Karl, your ghost friend on the Internet. Since you all insisted, today I will show you around the place and answer some questions. So go ahead and start asking.”

Karl shifts the image to a desktop setup in front of a medieval tapestry of hunting scenes and fire breathing dragons. These videos always brought a smile to his face. They are in fact one of the few ways he can make contact with humans nowadays since many people can’t hear or see ghosts. He simply needs a special camera filter and a mic. Out of nowhere a massive wooden door with iron fittings opens on its own.

“I’ve already shown you my bedroom and bathroom so I’ll just move on. If you are interested I’ll add a link when I upload the video. I’m really close to the grand library so let’s go there first.” Karl crosses a small corridor covered in wood from all four sides. Old portraits decorate the walls. At the end of the corridor a massive wooden door with flower cravings opens.

Five meter shelves filled with books form three of the walls around the room. A lather is conveniently placed on rails that disturb the pattern of the wooden flooring. Massive windows can illuminate the room but during night time, like right now, flames encased in rounded crystal flasks do it instead. There is a glass cabin for reading and a few more shorter shelves evenly spaced in the room.

“So the first questions are from sourdough_lover and BeTaBot and they’re asking if I shower or use the bathroom. I don’t need to but once a month I’m doing some energetic water cleansings in my bathtub. My buddies recommended it after I felt extremely tired for a long time. I don’t really get it but it feels really nice to be honest. Next is Shane The Great. Yes, dude, I live in a castle. It’s fire, I agree with you.” Karl answers as he moves around the bookshelves to show the audience a better view. Even today the comments about how cool it is to live in a castle keep piling up. They are just part of everyday life now and can’t make Karl feel special anymore.

“Sorry Jane Bradson but I don’t know who painted the portraits. Most of them depict nobles who used to live in the castle but that’s all I know. Giovanni Trivillacci wants to know if I have read all the books here. Sadly I can barely read anything from this library. The books are written in some archaic old form and I can’t even read the titles. BloodyMerry asks why I keep opening the doors and wonders if I can go through them. Well yes I can. But my camera can’t. I don’t see more questions for now so I guess we can move on to the next room.”

A wooden door with the same design as the previous one opens. A red oriental style carpet with moth holes spreads over a long hallway. On the left a renaissance tapestry of cats dancing around fire is anchored on the wall and on the right the open space of the previous floor is visible. A vintage wooden guardrail with floral carvings and lion head shaped finials keeps guests and inhabitants from falling. It can’t stop me or the other ghosts, Karl thinks to himself. But will it be able to stop the dancing cats? He disliked the art style of the tapestry and would gladly throw it away.

“Mimmi asks if all ghosts can move stuff and open doors like me. I’m not an expert but I’ve been dead for almost eight years now so I’ve had time to practice. I guess it depends on the ghost and how much practice they get. Yeah, SunEater3000, I look young because I died kinda young. I was seventeen, almost eighteen. And that’s the most confusing part for me because I have no idea whether I’m seventeen, twenty-four or simply seven at the moment. Mimmi asks about my training. Well, it’s similar to how you train your muscles but it’s your focus and mind. That’s why I meditate and don’t get much screen time daily. I also started small. Moving only a piece of paper and slowly continuing with bigger objects.”

Karl opens the door ahead, a wooden door with beautiful spiral motives. Laughter echoes and Karl whispers because he doesn’t want to receive an extra chore.

“This is the old hag I’m serving. She’s having guests over for midnight brunch and potions. BeTaBot, I don’t quite know what they are doing. Some witchy stuff I guess. I’ve greeted guests but I never attend her gatherings. I thought they were knitting and exchanging recipes because most of them are soooo old, but an armor once told me they summon hot men and test love spells on them. I didn’t stay for the details and still don’t want to know. Now this is the small gallery.”

Suddenly a black cat is meowing intensely while shivering and twitching paws and ears.

“Sorry Sabrina, I didn’t see you.” Karl felt sorry for the cat and wanted to help calm her down with pets but this would only make it worse.

From the nearby room the witch lets out a grunt with her chalky voice of an old alcoholic.

“Those damn boys! I swear if I catch who passed through Sabrina I will lock his spirit in a tiny bottle for a week!”

Karl falls into deep panic. He dashes into the room as quickly as he can and shuts the door louder than he intended.

“Gotta run guys. We are in the small gallery right now but I’ll give you a tour next time.”

Karl’s camera captures shaky images of the beige wallpapers and jumps across a few dozen portraits and landscapes. The ghost boy opens a barely visible door that sits perfectly hidden like a chameleon and descends a spiral staircase. Amidst the stone brick walls torches illuminate the way and a few banners break the monotonous pattern which can cause dizziness, something that Karl can’t concern himself with currently.

“That was close you guys. Yeah SunEater3000 it feels like I’m living with my grandma. No worries, the witch is slower than a sloth. Although she gets pretty fast when she’s chasing someone. Don’t worry, Lailahbear the cat is fine. I just went straight through her. Cats are just more sensitive when it comes to the paranormal and have a stronger reaction. How does it feel when you pass through someone? Mimmi, it’s kinda like pressing on jelly. It’s not that hard to go through but you feel the resistance. And what do the others feel? It’s like a very bad shiver as far as I am told. It’s not my personal experience so I can’t say for sure. Yeah Sussy Pears, a ghost might’ve passed through you last week.”

Karl suddenly stops and a barely visible stone door with round knocker opens.

“Ok, you’ll see the grand hall for guests and grand festivals in just a minute.”

Karl is in a dark room with stone tiles as flooring, dry ashy walls, simple cupboards with tablecloths, silverware, cups and other utensils. Semi-transparent people in ancient peasant clothes are sitting around a moldy table while vigorously cleaning spoons, knives, forks and plates.

“Hi guys, isn’t the silverware clean enough?” They glare at Karl. “I’m just joking.” Seeing these ghosts makes Karl uneasy every time. He swiftly moves across the area and enters an enormous room with a ten meter long table covered with embroidered white tablecloth. Massive chandeliers hang from the ceiling, weapons of all shapes and sizes decorate the walls, an ornamented fireplace is positioned in the corner and some minor decorations just hang around without any particular purpose.

“Tada! This is the grand hall. And I should check your questions cuz I’m falling behind. So many of you were confused by the people in the previous room. They are servants from the time when nobles lived here. I’m sure that they don’t approve of me just roaming around without doing anything. I guess it’s some slavery mentality from a long time ago. I don’t know why they keep doing all this useless work when there is no one to serve. I wouldn’t be surprised if they died while working.” Karl zooms in on some decorations like silver mirror, colorful matryoshka, porcelain jewelry boxes.

“I see sourdough_lover wonders why the interior is a mixture of different styles and periods. As far as I know this castle has always been haunted so every new generation had fights with the previous. The old spirits even redesigned at night or destroyed a piece of furniture they didn’t like. But then the witch took over and now the place is even a bigger mess. Rooms and furniture sometimes randomly switch places.” This is what Karl’s friend Henry says. Henry’s been here for more than five hundred years and is the only old ghost who can speak modern English. Karl notes that he can use Henry’s knowledge in another video. “Giovanni Trivillacci, I don’t really eat. I can’t anymore but I do miss it. I can inhale in a sense the flavors. I stuff my face in potato chips all the time.”

A buzzing sound echoes in the room. “The washing machine is ready. So next you’ll see the laundry room. It’s fairly modern so I’m sure it will add to the confusion.” Karl moves towards a painting of chubby man with tights and high heels. The painting opens like a door and a tiny tunnel appears. After a few seconds a round beam of light illuminates the tunnel and voices greet Karl.

“Yo, Karl! Come play summon your mom!”

“Nah. I’m filming and I have laundry to fold. I’ll come by later.”

“We’ll wait for you. Nobody’s getting away this time.”

Karl laughs at the memory of the last game and continues on his way. He first enters a roman bath, then a kitchen, a teatime room and finally the laundry room.

“It will be boring for a while, but I don’t want to get the old hag angry.” Three laundry machines open and the clothes fly out of them. The clothes fold themselves in the air, then one by one they obediently lay on top of each other.

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep on answering questions. Mimmi asks who these people were and SunEater3000 wants to know how we play summon your mom. These are my friends I met in the castle. You could say we all work for the witch. And for the game we summon our mothers while they sleep and we tell them something we did but hid from them. Whoever makes their mom most mad wins. Yeah BeTaBot, I’m working. It’s not so bad to be honest. I just do chores, just like back at home. No Lailahbear, I don’t think it’s child slavery. When the witch summoned me here a new law was accepted and kids between fourteen and eighteen no longer work for more than four hours a day. Apparently, witches exploited child ghost labor too much in the past. Wow Mona Lisa’s mustache. I don’t think I’m depressed. Maybe you would be but I’m not. Mona Lisa’s mustache, I’m not a prisoner. I work four hours a day and then I’m free.” Annoyance is present in Karl's voice. He refuses to accept that the comments might hold some truth to them even though he can't shake a memory, a feeling deeply nested at the back of his mind that makes him unsettled. “Yeah Lailahbear, I do miss home but this kind of lifestyle is not as empty as you think. If I could go back home, I’d hug my dog. She’s old now but it doesn’t matter. She is the sweetest dog ever. I wanted a retriever so badly and my dad finally got me a puppy for my seventeenth birthday. I didn’t get to spend a lot of time with her. Or him. He was always travelling.”

The laundry folding visibly slows down. If Karl had a stomach it would sink. Memories he labels as lost flood his consciousness one by one, but he tries to shake them of.

“I’m just fine. You guys worry too much. No Mona Lisa’s mustache, I don’t need to do that SOS thing with my hand.”

“Kaaaaaarl!” The old witches’ voice made the castle tremble.

“Oh shoot. I hope it’s not because of Sabrina or some other trouble I might be in. Guess I'll have to end the live here. Anyways see you next time where I’ll be exploring the secret passages of the castle so stay tuned.”