Rise & Fall

Stones skittered around as I ran, some tumbling into the river that lay only mere steps away. My breath came out in short, fast puffs. Despite how often I seemed to end up like this, I still panted like a dog.

Slowly, my gaze scanned the area around me. It was peaceful; the only sounds to be heard were the rush of the river over the rocks, as it was shallow here. Birds squawked loudly, squirrels skittering through the brush of the forest. My hand came up to cover my eyes as the sun beat down on me.

No signs of human life.

I sighed, turning to continue my search across the river. A bush shook behind me.

Whipping around, I squealed and fell backwards at the face that lay before me. The peace was broken, now overtaken by the splash of the water. Unfortunately, the sun could only do so much, and the freezing water seemed to seep into every crevice of my body.

The source of my fall was now laughing, the face I’d seen belonged to a young man. One I’d been tirelessly searching for.

“You suck.” He stuck his hand out to me in response, still shaking a bit from laughter.

After a bit of hesitation, I accepted it. It was a bit embarrassing how easily he was able to pull me up, causing me to stumble a bit into him. He steadied me while I pretended not to notice the way his gaze trailed over me.

Once he was sure I was fine, he turned and began to walk. When I was younger, I’d have asked where we were going, or even insisted upon drying off first. With a mere shake — maybe I was a dog — I trudged after him.

It was a short walk, thankfully, leading us to what had once been a wooden shack. Now, all that remained were splintered wooden walls, areas of rot further ruined by woodland creatures tearing it apart for their nests or even making the home that lay within theirs. The roof that threatened to fall with every gust of wind. Even the steps had long rotted through and fallen apart, leaving a short jump and climb to enter.

Squishing past him as we entered, I threw myself down onto the large bear rug that lay on the floor. Somehow, it was still intact — mostly. We ignored the holes littered throughout, at least.

Closing my eyes, I lay there on my back. Loud creaks sounded throughout until they stopped right next to my head. Peeking out, he stared down at me.

Our gazes locked, but no words were spoken. We didn’t need to, not really. Shifting over, I closed my eyes again as he flopped down next to me.

Licking my lips, I turned my head left to stare at him. “So, what do you wanna-” He cut me off, slapping his hand over my mouth. I pouted, prepared to bite him or something.

“I can’t sleep.”

He continued to stare up, not quite at the ceiling. Where he lay was a massive crack in the roof, bathing his face in golden sheets of light. For a moment, there was nothing.

“Like, at night?” I knew better.

He didn’t respond, instead choosing to stare directly at me. The light still reflected in his eyes, turning his brown eyes golden. It was always my favorite feature of his.

“...No.” My stomach turned, spiraling in a way that was foreign. I’d only felt something similar once, when my mother told us the news of my brother. Or when I’d had that spoiled honey.

Before I could take a breath, he’d continued. “Don’t ask me how, Su.” Whatever. “How?” He rolled his eyes, sitting up.

“Don’t ignore me, Mo. I’m about to freak out, okay?”

Pausing at that, Mo stared into the air for a moment. Twisting his lips, he sighed.

“There aren’t enough pods. Not for us.” I cleared my throat at that.

Now, a groan sounded out from him. Mo stood, absentmindedly offering me a hand. When standing, I grabbed his shoulders, so he was forced to meet my eyes again.

Silence. I fought the urge to blink.

His eyes narrowed then, mouth screwing up in what I’m sure he meant to be a scowl. However, there was no longer a day I’d ever be scared of it. We’d long since passed those days.

“Fine.” My eyes dripped with tears as I finally blinked, pulling him along to sit outside where the stairs used to be. It was worn down, but still managed to hold both of us well.

After a few moments, and me twisting his hand around between mine, he began.

“...The pods. Everyone has them.” Of course, I knew that. My family had some themselves, one each for all five of us. I started to count the scars on his palm.

“Well, we got ours yesterday. Hand delivered by the wonderful members of our oh-so kind military.”

That wasn’t a surprise either. Neither the delivery, as it’d been the same for us, nor his disdain towards the force. Given that my own father and brother had been in it themselves, my feelings toward them were complicated. Mo had no reason to favor them. Especially not with their propensity for excessive violence towards civilians.

He was a personal favorite for that.

“After that shit show, they’d loaded a pod into our bedrooms. Left with the manual, so we’d know exactly how to prepare the medicine, along with how to get inside. Like we’d need that?” He scoffed, seemingly irritated at their actions. It was still all the same for me, though I had to agree on his final point.

The pods were cylindrical in shape and horizontal, so as to imitate a bed of sorts, with support beams beneath it to hold it up. It was built to supposedly fit any body type. Even still, they’d had everyone fill out a survey with their information to somewhat conform it to your household. You’d have to be a genuine idiot to be confused on how to get in, though I guess it was better to be safe.

“Except… the pods weren’t… all good.” His speech was slowing down now, even stopping as he chewed on the side of his cheek. It was a bad habit of his, one I noticed whenever he had to tell me something he knew I didn’t want to hear.

This had to be a coincidence, though.

“Mother had one. Father, too, even Lunar.”

I’d flipped his hand over now, beginning to count on the other side. Mo had so many scars, cuts, and scrapes from his — our — adventures in these very woods. Others were littered across his body, but I refused to count them. They reminded me of bloodied nights, screams torn from his throat in the town square. Blood pooling in the stones, streaked across his body in ways that did not seem livable. Pleading coming from somewhere, a woman so distraught that I denied to be me as he was carried to the doctor.

“I didn’t.” I took his other hand to count. The time he’d been dragged away for questions of theft. A scrape across the palm from between his fingers to the bottom, a jagged middle.

“I don’t have a pod, Su.” There weren’t many on this palm. Flipped it over. Hard skin covered his knuckles, rubbed raw to the bone so many times by fighting back. He never won.

“I can’t sleep.” More on the other side, probably because it was his dominant hand. The very reason they’d chosen this arm to break for his punishment. He’d just stolen a milk jug that time. Or was that when he’d escaped the town jail?

“Su.” Drops of liquid splattered onto his palms. Thankfully, just water this time. What a strange time for it to rain.

“Su, please. I’m sorry.” For what? Night after night spent sleeping at his side, only pried away as he needed tending to? He need not apologize.

A strangled gasp left me as he grabbed me. His palms encircled my face, surely the source of the wetness that lay there. Or was it the rain?

Mo’s eyes met mine without another word. He spoke with them in a language all his own. I understood it well, after so much experience. There wasn’t a day that I couldn’t hear him clearly. But today. I couldn’t — wouldn’t? — comprehend.

“It’s going to be…” His words trailed off. “Well, it won’t be fine. I wouldn’t lie.”

I wish he would.

“It’ll be good, though, for now.” Mo hopped off onto the forest ground below, unceremoniously lifting me by the waist onto the ground next to him. I didn’t say anything, too afraid of my throat closing up.

“We still have today. Until tonight.” I linked our palms together, gripping tightly onto the hand with only six scars to count. He was right about us having time. We had forever, after all.

Our first stop was the deepest part of the river. Mo stripped first, and I made sure to turn away. Once, I’d forgotten and been distracted by his careful discarding of his then ripped shirt. A rather frightened cat had gotten him after the bell rang for midday.

The map of his back had entranced me. It was sickly beautiful, and I almost reached out to touch it.

Then a few moments passed.

I couldn’t fight the urge to puke. And I did. The rest of that day was spent sobbing in the very arms of the boy who’d endured what continued to make me sick every time the image appeared in my mind. Mo now always took care to check if I was looking before he undressed. And I resisted the urge to peek.

We bathed in the river, only playing once we were both certain we were clean. After a well-aimed shot into his eye, he spluttered out a laugh and called for a cease-fire.

Now clothed and only dripping a bit, we traveled deeper into the forest. Trapping your own food was illegal — punishable by whipping in the town square at worst — and a night in the town jail with a slap on the wrist at best. The only punishment I’d receive would be the latter with my family’s status, and that was all I would think about for fear of my stomach.

Gathering up what little game we’d caught, we rehid the traps so as not to be found by any others. Most of the food would go towards dinner for his family tonight, and only one rabbit would provide a snack for me. Cooked by Mo, of course.

Back near the water, I set up a fire and watched him at work. He set about skinning, dividing, washing, and cooking each bit of game. It was one of his strong suits, and though I’d never tell my mother, he was my favorite cook. The only thing he didn’t pack into his leather pack at his side was the rabbit for me.

“Here.” Mo stuck out a leaf with every bit of the rabbit able to be consumed upon it, carefully cooked atop the fire. I savored it, delighting in the gamey flavor, as well as the smoky residue left from a close brush with the sticks that made up the flames.

After the meal, we lay on nearby leaves, careful not to touch one another. His head was only a foot away from mine, seemingly entranced by the night sky that spanned above us. It was his favorite time, though a bit ironic. Mine was day, a rather cute contrast from his. I’d always sworn it meant we were fated to meet.

He didn’t believe in fate. Said if it was real, we’d be happier than this. I didn’t agree, because what could make me happier? That was kept to myself, though, and I opted to stick out my tongue at him then challenge him to a race in the woods.

The stars twinkled, putting on a show only for us. It was a moment of peace, of quiet. Broken by his voice.

“You need to get home now.”

“No.” A snort.

“Gonna outrun cryogenic sleep? You know, the world is indeed ending.”

I rolled my eyes and flipped to face him. “Please, it’s clearly not that serious. Otherwise, why would they stagger the sleep periods like this? Do all military families and the wealthy first?”

Mo flipped my way. “For the same reason I’m not able to. Which is probably because I’m a criminal.”

He rose suddenly, grabbing my hands and yanking me up.

“That’s how the world works. Fear, stupidity, and a whole lot of hope.”

With that, we began the trek to my house, only a short while away.

We crashed into my house, smelling of forest and animals, climbing the stairs before turning around at the sound of my mother clearing her throat. Her nose crinkled in disgust at our smell, and she was surely about to insist that Mo leave, as always. She then stopped, her words caught somewhere between us and her mouth. After a breath, she gave a soft smile. It was rather unlike her.

“Go ahead. I’m sure he can help you through this.”

Without another word, I dragged Mo with me to my room, stopping in front of the star of the night. It was a mattress of sorts, with a metal casing starting — once I lay down — beneath my knees, and above my elbows. The glass was pictured in the manual to cover the entire face and sides of the pod, which were down in a slot at the sides that remained free of metal, where we were able to step in. Was it activated from inside, so you could close yourself in when ready?

I tensed, turning to him. He was at my table, already sweeping through the manual to help prepare the concoction needed for my pre-cryo rest.

The sight almost broke me, but I stood frozen instead. After a few minutes and gathering a few items, he offered me a glass. “Drink up.” I did as he said.

It hit faster than I’d expected, only minutes after I placed the glass down on my night table. My body felt light, though a soft weight was definitely present. I felt Mo’s hands press against my sides as he guided me to the pod, holding me steady as I lay into it. There was little space, but he still managed to squeeze close and sit, as long as the glass remained down.

“I don’t wanna sleep.”

Mo hummed, reaching out to brush my hair from my eyes. It wasn’t a familiar motion, but I welcomed it all the same. “I know.”

I bit my lip, feeling blood as I ground my teeth into it. Despite the forced relaxation in my body, I was trembling. I couldn’t lose him.

“You don’t wanna lose me.”

My eyes shot to his, tearing up at the warmth that lay there. I’d only ever seen this look once. Once, when I was certain I would die. Once, when I was sick out of my mind, and had only woken up to groan in pain again. Once, when he kissed me and said if I didn’t get any better, he’d wreak havoc on this time like I’d never seen. And when I finally woke again for the last of it the next day, he swore it was a fever dream.

It was becoming more difficult to hold my eyes open, especially with the tears that blocked my vision through them. His hand reached out, slowly pressing my eyes closed. I cried harder now, at the thought that this is how life would be. A life without sight. Without seeing him.

Suddenly, a warmth pressed against my mouth. It was soft, made slick by the droplets of blood that leaked from my lip. My body was losing control now, but I fought to press back. To feel with all my senses for one last time. A gust of warm air over my face and the sound of a light chuckle confirmed it was felt.

Mo drew back, grabbing my hands with his. They were cold, or rather numb now. Sight was the first sense to go, and now touch. There was a persistent tingle that now spread from the edges of my body and my limbs. Even my breathing had slowed to a tempo only maintained when resting.

“I won’t say it’ll be fine. That would be a lie.” Lie, I begged.

“I would never be less than myself with you. That wouldn’t be me.”

Blood that lingered on my tongue could no longer be felt. The taste of iron had left, replaced by nothing. Though I’d never forget the taste of him. I swore it.

“I’ll be with you forever, as long as that means.”

The tingle of numbness had spread to my entire body now. I could feel his hands wrapped around mine, his waist pressed against my leg as he sat. But I could move no more. My limbs cried for control, begged for another touch.

“Even until I…”

It was hard to swallow now, though not for the sake of the medicine. This could not be the end, could it? We had forever, did we not?

His forehead came to rest against mine suddenly, past words lost. I stretched with my mind and thoughts, yearning to have the ability to connect with him just once more — to let him know just how much I felt. How much I loved him.

My hearing was giving out now, even the sound of his breathing felt miles away. It was the most beautiful sound I’d ever heard. One I swore to myself I’d cherish for the rest of my life, even if it took it.

A beat.

“See you later, Sun.”

Only ‘til I rise again, Moon.