The Cup Between Us

Despite the world being shut down, the love lines were still open. “We’re all in this together! Meet people around the world!” All the dating apps were pushing not only local connections, but global connections. It was an opportunity for people to change the dating world while maintaining social distance guidelines. An opportunity for people to share their new quarantine hobbies and help, even a little bit, with isolation. Which wasn’t a bad thing, but she thought how silly it was that you would meet someone on a dating app who is countries away.

She was in college getting her bachelor’s in psychology – set to graduate in December that year. She had always been enamored with Australia, and decided that a trip would be her graduation gift to herself. Like many people, she thought Covid would last only a few months and life would be back to normal. She thought about Tinder’s quarantine special. “What if I just change my settings to Australia to make some friends before I go?”

Settings > Location > Add new location.

She thought for a moment. Melbourne.

Her app reset and now showed people who were 8,000+ miles away. She left and right swiped, matching with people over the course of a few days. Some provided good conversation, while others proved that men are still the same even in another country.

A double chime went off indicating a match.

He was handsome with an ear-to-ear smile that looked like it would light up not just a room, but a theater. His profile was filled with emojis suggesting his likes from sports to food and everything in between. He messaged first and the rest was history. She never believed in love at first sight, or match in this case, but she texted her mom a day after they started messaging, “You’re about to attend a wedding in Australia. It’s mine.”

They shared a love of trivia, Where the Wilds Things Are, and Nutella. They shared a strong sense of justice and compassion for humanity, which subsequently resulted in a shared strong dislike for politicians that lacked in those areas. One thing that connected them most: music. They shared their favorite songs with each other. They cried over music together. He poked fun at her being American by playing “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue” at any random moment – but she always knew it was coming. Despite acting annoyed, she loved it and he knew it.

Over the course of two weeks, they spent countless hours on the phone – even falling asleep with each other on the other line and waking up to each other still on the other line. They eventually made it to lasting on the phone for more than 24 hours. They connected quickly and deeply, falling in love with each other, all from 8,000 miles away and a 17-hour time difference. Her family and friends hadn’t seen her love somebody like that – ever.

The only thing she didn’t like about him was that he didn’t like seafood (he’s allergic); the only thing he didn’t like about her was that she didn’t drink tea, but on the rare occasion that she did, she microwaves the water (she’s American). They planned a life together. They named their future kids – something she had given up the idea of years ago. He showed her love that she never thought she deserved, and he didn’t abandon her when she thought he would. She comforted him during severe anxiety attacks and emotional distress. He was vulnerable with her.

Over the next year, they waited with bated breath for the Australian borders to open. Every time they thought it was going to open, the Australian government postponed it. This went on for another year. The distance, the time difference, and the stress of not knowing how long until they could be together began to take its toll on them. Where they once resolved conflicts within a matter a minutes, now an argument could last hours or days. Life slowly started going into the new normal. The new normal now got in the way of the time they got used to spending with each other. She returned to the office, which meant she needed to sleep at a decent hour. He couldn’t be on the phone with her while she worked.

The borders finally opened and Australia resumed tourism. After two years, she made it to Melbourne. Before she left the States, they hadn’t spoken for a month after an argument and a breakup. He didn’t respond to her messages when she arrived. In the middle of a foreign country, she had an emergency and the only person who she knew to call was him. Luckily, he picked up. They got through it together by phone. They reconnected, but didn’t see each other during her visit. No matter how hard they tried through the distance, they never got back to what they once were.

This happened not once, but twice. She flew around the world but he didn’t show up. As she planned her third trip, she braced for the inevitable that her gut and heart told her would happen again. But this one was ahead of schedule. She hadn’t even applied for her visa or booked her ticket before the emotional distance started again. This time, it ended.

But this time, she didn’t feel the same sadness she felt before. There was, of course, disappointment: she lost her best friend. But this was the moment she felt numb towards it all. She didn’t want to admit it, but it felt like breathing. They wished each other well and she removed the heart emojis from his contact.

Every now and then, she thought about him and wondered if he was thinking about her too. She comforted herself and what could have been by thinking that they would connect in another life.

Five years later, she stands at the stove in her kitchen. The kids grab their sun hats before running outside, to protect from the Australian sun.

The tea kettle whistles. She pours the hot water over a tea bag that lays in her favorite mug. Although he’s not here to watch her finally drink tea the proper way, she knows that somewhere, in another life, he is as he blasts “Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue.”