Do you see that?

‘I think that if she could, she would eat us.’

‘Who?’

‘Who do you think?’

‘Oh. Can you just leave her alone?’

‘Look at her.’

‘Leave her alone.’

Pets like me. I’m serious. I don’t know why, but they just do. It doesn’t matter if it’s a dog or a fish — they like me. But cats… cats adore me. I, on the other hand, am not so keen. They don’t really bother me, but I would never choose to have a pet of my own. I don’t have the patience, I like to travel, and hair bothers me. All hair — even human hair. Who knows why? Scientists don’t know what causes our uniqueness. Why one person enjoys beer and another cannot even abide the smell. I’m telling you, they’ve no idea. I know — you’d think they would have figured it out by now, but no.

I’ll tell you a secret. They know a lot less than you’d believe. Granted, we know so much more than five thousand years ago, but most of what we know has to do with how to build things. When it comes to true knowledge — scientific knowledge — what we don’t know makes what we do know look like a dot. It’s the truth. I mean, doctors still rely on past experiences to make their decisions. They look at a situation, decide that it looks like something from the past, and they treat it with something that worked in the past. If that treatment doesn’t work, or if the last time nothing worked, then they’ve no idea what to do. They’ll keep trying, of course, but from that moment on the patient is now a guinea pig.

‘Do you ever look at her?’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah, really. She just sits there and stares at us most of the time with this look.’

‘What look are you talking about? It’s a cat.’

‘Exactly. Why is a cat looking at us like we’re food?’

‘I swear, you’re obsessed with that cat. You claim that you don’t like the cat, but it seems as though you’re secretly in love with it.’

‘Ha ha. Make jokes. You’re laughing while she’s plotting her attack.’

Trust is very dangerous. If you trust someone, then you’ll be very disappointed when they betray that trust — and, in my experience, it’s more likely that they will than that they won’t. I’m not cynical. I’m not jaded. I’m just trying to survive living and, in my opinion, it’s best to reduce my expectations as much as I can. Fewer expectations, less risk of being disappointed. On the other hand, how do you have friends — how do you have a partner — if you cannot trust them? I’ll tell you how. You have to be realistic. You have to be honest with yourself. It may be possible to trust someone not to kill you, but accept that they will steal from you, speak unfavourably about you, and sleep with your wife without even thinking twice. That’s called partial trust — something we should all practise. It’s a lot more important than you think, or than you’d like to accept.

Acceptance. It’s a philosophical concept that’s often overlooked. Learning how to accept what is, and move on, is often the only difference between peace and unrest; between a mutually beneficial intimate relationship and a nightmare that will plague us for all our lives. At some point in our lives — earlier rather than later, if we’re lucky — we should all learn to accept who we are, what we’re able to do, and what we’ll never be able to do. It’s the first step in achieving success.

‘You know what I think?’

‘No, I do not know what you think. Enlighten me.’

‘I think that she’s very patient.’

‘Patient?’

‘Yep. You see, she’s a natural predator, and fifteen thousand years of domestication can never undo nature completely. In her heart, she’s a predator — and we’re prey.’

‘You’re starting to sound a bit crazy. You do realise that, don’t you?’

‘Okay. I’m telling you that she’s watching our every move, trying to figure out our weakness. And when she does, she’ll attack. It’ll most likely be while we’re sleeping.’

‘I’m at a loss for words.’

I understand patience and observation. I’ve made a living from being observant. Most people have. All the innovations we’ve made come from observing something and patiently creating a way to do it better, based on the desired outcome. It doesn’t matter if it’s business, medicine, physics, chemistry, technology, or even writing — we observe and improve upon what we or others have done.

Sometimes I feel as though I’ve not really accomplished anything in the world, but that’s not true, is it? Every decision I’ve made has been observed by someone — an employee, a friend, a child, or a partner — and they’ve used the results of my decisions to avoid similar errors or achieve similar results, often modifying for their desired outcome. Everyone contributes in some way — until they don’t.

‘What is the purpose of pets? Wait. I know what you’re going to say. Let me rephrase my question. Are pets absolutely necessary?’

‘You know what’s a better question? Are you in need of some psychological support? Because it’s really beginning to appear that you need help. And I’m not joking. What’s wrong with you and the cat?’

‘I’m glad you asked.’

‘Oh, shit. I’m going to be sorry I asked. I can tell.’

‘Pets consume an enormous amount of resources that could be applied to helping humans. And even though I’ve nothing against pets…’

‘It doesn’t sound like that.’

‘I don’t — but even though I’ve nothing against pets, I see it as a waste, especially when literally hundreds of thousands of cats, dogs, fish, snakes, birds, iguanas and many other pets are released into environments every year that are not able to accommodate them — leading to dangerous infestations and, often, devastating harm to the environment.’

‘Well, damn. I see that you’ve been reading Wikipedia.’

‘Yes, and you should as well. Because if you did, you might just change your mind concerning the advantages and disadvantages of the pet industry.’

‘Okay. Enough. I’m going to ask you again, one more time. Can you please stop saying negative things about my cat?’

‘Your cat? I thought it was our cat?’

‘Our cat.’

A refusal to accept the truth. I don’t know what psychologists are currently calling it, but I’ve come to the conclusion — for some time now — that it’s simply the carefully strategic, albeit completely subconscious, use of denial and hypocrisy. Two simple tools that can probably be credited with everything that society has ever been and, unfortunately, may ever be. When used responsibly, they have the power to protect any human from the discomfort of acceptance. When abused, they may lead to crimes against societies relating to prejudices and biases that can be, at times, violent. The thing is, we are social animals and, thus, have been using denial and hypocrisy for hundreds of thousands of years. Simply put, we’re addicted.

This is a true story. I once knew a girl who had told everyone that she was a great artist for so long that when she was finally confronted with the truth in front of the people she’d lied to, she was almost broken. I believe she’d been telling that lie for a few months — maybe a year. What do you think will happen to us if we’re confronted with the undeniable truth? Yeah. Two things will happen: we either choose to believe that it isn’t true — something that’s happening more and more in societies around the world today — or we break. Who wants to be the person, or the organisation, that breaks humanity?

‘Did you see that?’

‘What?’

‘Your cat!’

‘Oh, it’s my cat now, is it?’

‘Look — look over there! What is that? What the hell has your cat dragged in?’

‘Shit! I think it’s a rat. Can you throw it out? Rats give me the creeps.’

‘And I love them.’

‘Come on. Please.’

‘That cat is trying to infect us, so that it can attack us when we’re ill.’

‘Yeah, sure. That’s it.’