Conjunction Function

I smiled nervously as I waited under the lamplight. It was the usual appointment, end of the year… quarter four… the deadlines were approaching. I had things to do, but I hadn’t made time for this particular appointment in nearly half a decade.

I always hated this time of year, the holidays got everyone in a tizzy; and there were employees submitting approvals for vacation; and the tax man, who always had his hand in everything, needed his forms done post haste.

I kicked my feet in the dirt for a moment, rolling a rock under my heel. I wondered what it had been before it was a pebble under my feet, what great mountain it had rolled out of in a mechanical cart filled with the gravel of other similar rocks to pave the street.

I was at an intersection, you see. As I was every single time I came to this same conclusion. I hated every single instance of participation that I was forced to play, but it was ‘just business’. It was ‘the family business’, in fact.

“I was wondering when we would see you next.” Her voice echoed from behind me. “It’s been a while. Are you ready to get back to work?”

“I never stopped working, darling.”

“Well, of course, my love, but we all have to go back to sleep sometimes. I was just worried you weren’t going to be able to get out of bed again this time.” She smiled, her grin was teasing, and showed that she was in a mood to play.

“I know, I was worried about myself there for a while. I got lost again. I just needed to focus.” I stood very still, and I let my gaze sweep out around me. It was never useful to show any sort of real emotion in front of them.

I breathed in slowly, for a count of six, then held it in for another count, then I breathed out slowly for another count of six. I heard the wind rustling in the trees, and felt the air‘s cool touch on my skin. It was the end of autumn, and the edge of winter. Winter never stopped coming, but, then again, neither did spring.

She stared at me, I couldn’t see her, but I didn’t need to. I knew that she was. She was evaluating how much I really wanted it this time.

“I’ve watched you wake up a few times in the past, my sweet, and you never seem to stay there. You always manage to sink back down for a little bit.” Her voice sounded reproachful, and I felt that it was valid in this instance. I had gone back to sleep, she deserved to be at least a little upset about it.

“I don’t have time to go back to sleep any more. I have deadlines on my work, and I need to make sure that it gets done.”

She smiled then, I still couldn’t see it but I did not need to, I knew that she was. She always did when I worked with her instead of against her. Inertia was a strong thing, and Newton hadn’t lied either, most of the time.

“I wish that we did not have to meet under such circumstances,” I continued, ever the professional. “It is, unfortunately, a requirement of the contract.”

She smiled again, “I know.”

There was silence for a few moments and then I heard the crunch of the gravel as her boots stomped over them, approaching behind me. I shut my eyes so that I couldn’t see the world around me any more. I felt her breath then, hot on my ear as she tilted her jaw upwards behind me to speak. I felt the goosebumps raise as her voice whispered quietly in my ear.

“You do not have time to forget again. This is the last round, don’t you see, this is your last chance. You either do it this time, or you do not do it at all. This is your last shot.”

“I know.” My voice caught in my throat as I attempted to hold my composure, it was difficult to hold onto, when emotions were high. We were all just animals, and sometimes it was best to give in to that, to retain our refinement the rest of the time.

Her hands swept up my chest in the gap between my biceps and my torso, her hands clasping each other in an embrace from behind me. She was shorter than me this time. It changed every single time. Sometimes she was taller, sometimes she was shorter, sometimes she was not even a she, but today she was.

“Do it then.”

I leaned down then, as she released her hold and opened my eyes. I looked down at the ground below me and the little scene that I had set up on the ground before me, directly in the middle of the crossing streets.

I moved the statue I had placed on the side of the circle of objects that I had arranged directly onto the ornate mirror that I had placed on the ground in the middle of an assortment of stones that I had brought with me. I had collected them all for years, my own rocks and dirt, but it did not make them any less a part of the mountain that they were taken from.

The frame was a bit dusty, I had managed to pick up some glass cleaner on the way here so the surface was shined but I did not have the time to make sure the dust was properly cleaned off of its frame. Oh well, who had the time for that anyways?

“Oculis video, oculis etiam audio, sed mente cano, atque mens parata est septimum circulum relinquere in proximo nostro circuitu.”

My voice rolled off my tongue quietly, and into the night, as it always had been. Then I leaned further down to the tiny doll house that I had brought with me and placed at the south most cardinal point of my little arrangement.

I knocked on the tiny door of the tiny house, and the sound seemed to echo into the night like a bell. Then I pricked my finger, and pressed the little crimson bead that appeared there against the middle of the tiny wooden door.

There was a gust of wind, and I sensed that she had gone. She never stayed long once I remembered what I was here for.

My phone buzzed in my pocket, it was midnight now. I had several meetings on the calendar for tomorrow, and it was getting chilly out here. I had a conference next month that the team would need to set up for and the projections for next year's returns should be on my desk by Monday morning.

I sighed, and swept off the dust that had accumulated on my trousers. I straightened my tie, and let my fingers tap over the screen to shoot a reply back to the team. There was still work to be done, or we wouldn’t be here. So, we have to cling to that, I decided, yet again, with a firm nod to myself.

Then I turned and walked away from the scene, she had reminded me what I was here for. I had meetings to get to, and I needed some sleep before I could get to them with a clear conscience. The mind never rests as easily as the body, and the spirit waited for me in the wind.

I got into my car, and started the engine. It came to life with a low hum, I had avoided gasoline now for as long as I had been able to afford to. Time to go back to work. I drove North.