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12 likes
2 comments
Written in response to: "Write a story that starts with someone returning from a trip." as part of Just the Beginning.
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The driving element of mystery shines throughout the story and your pacing was excellent.
I did have a hard time following it though due to the lack of paragraph breaks. I'm guessing it's just a formatting error — copy/pasting — or something, but it does deter from the story.
Overall, it is very well written! Good job!
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I agree - there were a some minor grammatical/textual errors and an absence of spacing, but the plot of the story was very detailed and engaging. I like how you used the weight of Angelina's necklace as a metaphor for the guilt she felt.
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