Holiday Lunch Club

Holiday Lunch Club

I met Bernadette at a monitor academy. Monitors are probation officers who get DUI and DWI cases. She was very attractive (She reminded me of Kate Hudson, Goldie Hawn's daughter). She also has a very nice body. Someone like Bernadette is normally out of my league but Bernadette is also approachable.

I would've loved to go out with Bernadette, but on state holidays we got off from work, and we would meet 2 other friends we made at the academy, Shiela and Sharron for lunch. I cherished these lunches because I got to see Bernadette (I admit I had strong feelings for Bernadette; she was very easy on the eyes.). She never let on how she felt about me. Truth be told I would've done anything for her, within reason.

So, each state holiday one of us four would pick a restaurant and we would meet for lunch. Bernadette had a tendency to low rate herself (she didn't like the way she looked). I didn't care too much for that since I like her a lot and the way she looked (to me she was the "it" girl, the one all girls wanted to be). I just wanted her to be happy and see her smile. I loved the way she glowed when she smiled. One day she said she liked blonde-haired guys. I had black hair, but I always had state holidays lunches with her.

One lunch was near Valentine's Day, so I got all three friends Valentine's gifts, they were all appreciative.

One lunch was close to Bernadette's birthday, so I got her flowers in a vase. She had always done things for other people and never asked anything in return (her daughter, neighbors, her brother). I just wanted someone to do something nice for her. To see the glow on her face was enough thanks to me.

Bernadette is one of those people who can resonate through people just by being around them. At these lunches we would talk about work (Sharron and I worked in the same office, Bernadette and Sheila worked in different offices than us). For me the job became easier to handle than the others. I gave them my advice as to how I would handle things. Bernadette became more frustrated at things so I was glad to help her anyway I could. As time passed Bernadette's confidence in doing the job increased. I didn't like it when she was stressed out by the job. I wanted the job to be as easy for her as it was for me. I liked helping people with their addictions. Two offenders, after they were done with probation, sent me letters thanking me for my help. There were problem offenders too, but the ones that thanked me more than made up for them anyway. I like helping Bernadette out with the job, it made me feel like I was taking care of her in a way.

We lived on opposite ends of our state. Had we gone out as a couple I probably would've moved closer to her. Bernadette was more of a drinker than I was (I didn't drink because of medical conditions and medicine that didn't mix well with alcohol). I hoped her drinking never got her into trouble. I don't know if it did, but I would've been there for her if it had. I could never have given up on someone I liked that much. Even though we lived far apart if she needed me for something I'd been there for her at the drop of a hat.

I wanted to be the person she confides in about everything. I wished she knew I would've been there for her no matter what. On one holiday lunch I picked a restaurant that was in-between me and Bernadette. Bernadette had a hard time finding the restaurant and was getting frustrated. She called me on the phone and I first calmed her down then gave her directions. When she arrived at the restaurant, she gave me a kiss on the cheek. I wished I knew how she felt about me.

I lost my car and quit that job, so I didn't go to many lunches after I quit the job. I will always wonder what she really thought of and felt about me.

When I applied for a new job the prospective employer wanted references so I listed Bernadette and she told them I was a terrific guy.

There aren't many people like Bernadette who come into your life and when they do cherish them.

Bernadette, if you are reading this, I want you to know how much I care for you and the joy you brought me. I miss seeing how you glow, and I wish you all the best.

I didn't have a whole lot of time together with Bernadette to get to know her better. I would like to find out things about her that would've surprised me. On another lunch Sharron picked a Brazilian restaurant. At the monitor academy if you lived more than 50 miles from the campus you could live on campus during the week. Bernadette lived on campus along with another monitor Mr. Pakai. The two of them were friends from staying on campus. Mr. Pakistan went to an office closer to me after the academy. Mr. Pakistan didn't drive but I brought him to the Brazilian restaurant because I thought Bernadette would like seeing him again.

I knew that Bernadette didn’t feel the same way for me as I do her, but I want her to be happy just the same. There was one time at the academy I said something to her I shouldn't have. I did apologize to her for it but I really wish I hadn't said it anyway. Bernadette just for the record and from the bottom of my heart you are very beautiful and don't let anyone tell you differently. Keep smiling and reaching for the stars and maybe in my next life we'll meet again.