See Me Through Your Heart

Advisory:

Fatal Accidents & Trauma

Substance Misuse

Domestic Conflict

Chapter 1: Is It Really Over?

“Summer was over, and so were we. No matter how many times I thought it, I said it, or even tried to end it, I couldn’t. Not because I didn’t want to; I did. It’s just that until this moment, I didn’t have the strength to make it final. Anthony’s prolonged absence means he’s already moved on. I’m tired of waiting for him to return. So I’ll ghost him too.”

Tears welled as Amber’s glossy eyes read the words she had just penned in her journal. As she raised her hand to swipe, a tear splashed onto the page, dotting the “i” in final. Her lips trembled as she sobbed, “It’s really over.”

She closed the journal, pressed it to her heart, then stood, staring at the calmness of the waves.

Her mind stilled… then became restless as it ripped through memory after memory searching for—

“Don’t,” she mumbled. “I don’t want to see him. I don’t want to remember him; it’s over for real this time.” Her shoulders quaked as tears streamed down her cheeks.

“Amber.”

She inhaled deeply as the cool peppermint smell of her brother Kyle's breath lingered in her nostrils, reminding her of the coolness she felt while sailing on the yacht, enjoying the fresh ocean breeze.

“Ugh!” she moaned as Kyle firmly gripped her bare shoulders.

“Sis, it’s time.”

“I can’t,” she mumbled.

KEE-YAH! KEE-YAH!

The seagulls cried as Amber’s eyes shot upward beyond them to the fluffy gray clouds that blocked the warmth of the sun.

“Amber, I know it may not seem like it, but trust me, you’re going to be alright,” Anthony said.

“Anthony?” she whispered before her breath caught.

Her heart pounded as she whipped around, expecting to see his hazel eyes and his obnoxious smile with his crooked teeth. Her eyebrows tightened as she said, “Where are you?”

She nudged her brother’s shoulder. “Kyle, did you hear him? Anthony’s here! I heard his voice. I heard him!”

Amber’s back arched as Kyle slid his icy hand to the small of her back, pushing her forward. “We have to go.”

“But what about Anthony? He’s here...”

Kyle’s hand fell downward as Amber moved sideways, twisting his hand off her back.

“Kyle, you don’t understand. I heard him. I can’t leave. I know he’s hiding somewhere nearby.” She took a step forward to walk away.

Kyle’s hand shot out and grabbed hers. “Sis, where do you think you’re going?”

Amber paused. “I don’t know. Kyle, are you hiding something from me?”

“Why, Amber? What makes you think I’m keeping something from you?”

“Because something doesn’t feel right, and I’m not leaving here until I find out what it is.”

“Well, do what you have to do, but don’t take too long. I’ll give you fifteen, maybe thirty minutes max. If you don’t return, I’m leaving, and you’ll have to call for a ride to wherever you’re going,” Kyle said.

“Thank you. I have my cellphone with me.”

“Okay,” Kyle said as he kissed her on the forehead, turned around, and walked away.

Chapter 2: Drawn Back

“Drat!” Amber said, tugging her foot to pull her spiky heel out of the sand. “Why did I wear my most expensive heels to the beach? I don’t need these.”

She bent down, unbuckled one strap, then the other.

Trudging up the shoreline, Amber’s body swayed as the waves washed back, leaving her feet sinking into the wet sand. She paused and scratched her head.

“Why does this part of the beach feel so familiar? Why does it feel as if something is pulling me to stay here?”

Amber shielded her eyes as the blazing sun broke through the clouds. Her eyes darted from the horizon to the crashing waves... then she spotted it.

She gasped. “0615.”

Her heart pounded. “I can’t believe this! It’s been months since we… I mean, I was last here, and even when I’m not thinking about him, he’s still here guiding me toward him. I guess this is where he wants me to stop.”

Amber’s eyes tightened as she sat facing the waves, her journal clutched in her hands as they wrapped around her knees.

VROOM! VROOM!

Amber’s ears perked. She lifted her head and turned toward the direction of the familiar sound of Kyle’s engine revving before he pulled away from the curb. Confused, she pondered, should I run and try to flag him down or just let him drive off?

Amber tucked the journal under her arm, then rubbed her face against her palms. “I don’t know what I should do. He’s really leaving me. I can’t believe thirty minutes passed so quickly.”

Amber’s hand shot to the cellphone in her pocket. “6:15,” she mumbled.

As she tucked her phone away, her journal slipped from underneath her arm and tumbled into the wet sand.

“I missed this,” Amber said as her toes clamped and gathered a clump of sand. A mountain of sand splattered and covered her journal. She picked it up, then froze as she pointed toward the ground. “Hey, what’s this?”

She leaned forward and picked up a familiar seashell pin.

She held it up toward the sun. “Wow, this looks just like the one Anthony gave me!”

It sparkled as she turned the shell around, then rotated it. Her eyes widened as she read, “‘AD.’ Hey! We have the same initials. Tell me,” she said, raising it to shine in the sunlight. “Why should I keep you if beautiful things always get lost? UGH!”

Plip... plip... plip...

Chapter 3: Through Your Heart

“Dang woman! After all the times I tried to teach you, now you show me you can do it!”

Amber’s heart pounded as her head jerked toward the voice. A cold breeze wrapped around her shoulders, then gently swept across her eyes, causing her to close them.

“Yes, Babe. It’s me. I’m here.”

Amber’s eyes shot open. “It’s about time! Where are you? I hear your voice, but I don’t see you.”

“I’m here. Close your eyes and see me through your heart,” Anthony said.

“No! I knew you were alive. Nobody ever found your body. Stop playing games! Show yourself, now!” Amber demanded as she rose, shielded her eyes, and scoured the beach.

“I can’t. Listen. You can’t see me with your eyes,” he said as a beam of light broke through the clouds and made a direct path from the sky to her.

Amber’s head tilted back as her hands extended outward.

“I’m here. I’ve been here all this time waiting for you to return,” Anthony said.

“I don’t understand. If you’ve been here all this time, why haven’t you come to see me? I miss us. I miss you so much!” Amber’s voice cracked with a hint of frustration.

“I know, and I miss you too. That’s why I asked Kyle to bring you here.”

“KYLE! You spoke to Kyle? When? How long has he known that you were alive?” Amber’s hands shook as they clenched into fists. “What kind of sick game are the two of you playing? For months, he’s seen me grieve over your disappearance and NEVER bothered to mention that you were in contact with him. Even today, he didn’t tell me he knew where you were and had spoken to you.”

“I asked him not to,” Anthony said.

“Why? I’m the one you supposedly loved more than life itself,” Amber said.

“Yeah, I did. And that’s something you forgot every time we had a major disagreement.”

“No, I didn’t.”

“Yes, you did. Remember the last time I saw you, you said, ‘Anthony! I want you to get the F, out of my life. I don’t ever want to Fn see you again!’ Do you remember saying that?”

Amber’s head dropped, and so did her voice. “Yes, but I didn’t mean it. It’s just that you made me so mad. You couldn’t see my side, so I said that because I wanted to hurt you like you were hurting me,” Amber said. “But I never meant it. Please, Anthony, let me see you.”

“You don’t know how badly I want to, but I can’t.”

“What do you mean you can’t? You said all this time you’ve been in contact with Kyle, but you can’t let me see you? Why not? I promise I won’t hit you again. I just want you to hold me and tell me we’re going to be okay. I just want to see you. Dang it, Anthony, stop hiding from me.”

Amber paused. She rubbed her arms as a cold gust of air wrapped around her feet and made its way to her shoulders.

Chapter 4: What Do You Remember?

“Kyle? What are you doing here? I thought you left?”

“Sis, I could never leave you.”

“But I told you it was okay to go, and that I had my cellphone. I saw you leave.”

“I know, Sis. But I came back. I refused to leave you alone.”

“What do you mean you refused to leave me alone?”

Kyle leaned in and opened his hand for Amber to hold. He locked eyes with hers as he said, “Think about it, Sis… besides me, who do you see and talk to every day?”

Amber’s eyes darted as she searched for answers.

“When was the last time you ate, slept, or used the restroom?” Kyle asked.

Amber’s voice shook. “Um… I honestly can’t remember. Why are you asking me those questions? Never mind. Answer this!”

Her voice sharpened as she yanked her hands out of his. “All these months you saw me crying over Anthony. And you never bothered to tell me you knew where he was and that you keep in contact with him? Why Kyle? I’m your sister. Your loyalty should be to me! Anthony told me he told you not to tell me, and you didn’t. Really Kyle? This is how you treat me?”

Her eyes widened as she locked eyes with him. Her head tilted, her hands clenched as her feet pounded the sand.

“Amber, calm down. I didn’t do it to hurt you.”

“Well, you did!”

“I’m sorry. I promise I’ll tell you everything. But first…”

“First, what?” Amber shouted.

“Tell me, what do you remember about the night Anthony disappeared?”

“WHY? You’re just like Anthony, always trying to change the subject instead of answering my question.”

“Amber stop. Calm down. Think about what I asked you. What…do you remember…about that night?”

“WHY?”

“No, Amber, tell me what you remember?” Kyle repeated in a firm voice.

“What does it matter, Kyle? Why are you asking me instead of answering my question?”

Kyle’s hand swiped the air. He exhaled deeply, then said, “Amber, please sit. We need to talk.”

“Yes, we do. And just because you’re my older brother doesn’t mean that you can order me around. We’re not kids anymore.” Amber rolled her eyes before she plopped down on the sand.

“Do you remember the last time you saw Anthony?”

Amber laughed. “Of course I do. You were there. Why… did you forget?”

“No. I didn’t. What day was it, and what were you wearing?”

Amber chuckled. “It was on June 15th. We were on his father’s yacht, celebrating Anthony’s 25th birthday.”

Kyle nodded. “Yes, we were. And what were you wearing?”

“What was I wearing? Kyle, how could you forget? Everyone on the dock complimented me on my diamond-studded, backless gown that Anthony had made just for me.”

“Is it the one that you have on now?”

“What? That was months ago. Why would I…”

Amber paused as she lowered her head to examine her clothes.

Chapter 5: The Truth Between Us

Amber’s hands trembled as she examined her bloodied, tattered gown, then her bloodied body. Her hands flew to her face as she screamed, “Kyle! What happened?”

Kyle looked up.

Amber’s eyes widened.

“Oh, my gosh! Kyle, no!” she screamed, backing away. “Brother, what happened to you? Why are you covered in dried-up blood? Where is your left arm?”

Kyle reached for her hand.

Her head shook as she backed away. “You look like you’re dead. AM I DEAD TOO?”

“Amber,” Kyle said. He waved his hand.

Like a robot, she moved backward, reversing her steps, then stopped at the point before she saw herself the way they really were.

“Amber, do you remember the argument you had with Anthony?”

“Are you talking about the one before or after I caught him flirting with my best friend, Evelyn?”

“Both. She wasn’t flirting with him. She was helping him plan your engagement party surprise...”

“What?” she gasped. “So, all their laughing and giggling wasn’t them messing around in front of my face?”

“No.”

“Then why didn’t you stop me from going off?”

“I tried, but you wouldn’t listen. Instead, you threatened to kill everyone on the yacht if they didn’t get off the boat. Remember?”

Amber hung her head. “Yeah. I do.”

“After your confrontation with them, Anthony sailed the yacht back to the dock. You ordered everyone, including me, off the boat. But I stayed against your wishes because I knew you were upset.”

“Yeah, I was. After accusing him of cheating on me, I drank several bottles of wine.”

“I know. I saw you passed out on the couch. Anthony was pissed. We downed an entire bottle of Scotch as he steered the yacht out of the harbor into the open sea.”

“Why, Kyle? You know how careless he gets when he drinks? That was a dumb, dangerous thing he did!”

“Yeah, we knew, but we didn’t care.”

“Then what happened?”

“I’m not sure. You were below deck, so you couldn’t see. It was dark. And we were wasted. I think we hit something, or something ran into us,” Kyle’s eyes misted as he reached for Amber. “I remember the ship exploding.”

“The yacht exploded?”

“Yes. That’s when Anthony pushed past me, knocking me to the deck as he ran to save you.”

“He ran to save me? Save me from what?”

“The flying debris. The last thing I saw was a piece of metal piercing his back as he staggered and shielded you by falling on top of you.”

Amber sniffed. “I don’t remember any of that.”

Kyle stepped closer and said, “I know, that’s why I’m here. When the blast happened, Anthony died before we did. He’s waiting for us...”

Kyle pointed to himself.

“I passed away before you, but I stayed here because you didn’t know what happened and refused to leave. I stayed back because I wanted to help you. Years have passed, and we have little time left to make our decision before it’s made for us.”

“What decision?”

“To move on to the next phase or to remain here, stuck between worlds.”

Tears streamed down her face, then stopped. “What’s happening? Why can’t I cry?”

“We’re not alive. We don’t have tears anymore,” Kyle said.

Amber shook her head wildly, grabbing her hair. “But I don’t want to be dead. There’s so much I didn’t get to do. How can I be dead when I feel so alive? Where’s Anthony? I want to see him. He’s got to fix this.”

Chapter 6: Into The Light

Clots of dried blood stained Anthony's shirt as he stepped out of the light.

“Ah!” Amber screamed as she darted behind Kyle’s back, then screamed again as she noticed he was missing an arm. She cringed, then covered her eyes, repeating, “I’m so sorry. It was all my fault. If I hadn’t let my jealousy blind me, none of this would have happened.”

Anthony sighed. “Shh,” he said as his fingers lingered on her back. “You don’t know how long I’ve watched and waited to hold you in my arms once more.”

Amber pulled away. Her eyes darted from Anthony, Kyle, then, to her hands. “I’m dead?”

“Yes,” Kyle said. “So many times I tried to get you to understand that we had to leave, but you wouldn’t listen until now.”

“But I didn’t know. Anthony, you gave your life trying to save me?”

“Yes, and I’d do it again if I had to. That’s just how much I love you,” Anthony said.

Amber nodded, “I know you said that, but I didn’t think that you would actually do it.”

“He did, Sis. I saw him.”

“And what about you? How did you die? What happened to your arm?”

“After Anthony fell on top of you, I stood up to check on you. The yacht jerked as it dipped down to sink, then something crashed into my shoulder. When I walked toward the light, I saw my body without my arm.”

“Oh my gosh!” Amber said, covering her mouth. “We’re all dead because of me.”

Kyle shook his head. “No. God said, He knew us before we were in our mother’s womb.”

“Ecclesiastes says there is a time to be born and a time to die,” Anthony said.

Amber stared at them, her chest heaving as the bitter truth finally settled deep into her heart. “I remember hearing that in church, but that doesn’t mean I’m ready to step into the light and leave this world behind.”

“Sis, whether you're ready or not, your earthly body is gone. You don’t have access to it anymore. We’re in the spiritual realm now.”

“Yes, now the three of us can move on to Heaven and live with God,” Anthony said. “Are you ready, my love?”

Kyle nodded as he stepped one foot into the light beside Anthony. “Come on, sis.”

He smiled. His body was whole again as he extended his hand. “There’s nothing left for us here.”

Amber sniffed as her eyes darted, storing mental images of the world she was about to leave behind.

“It’s beautiful!” Amber said as she took their hands and walked into the light.