One Last Night

David only planned to spend an hour or two here at most and maybe have lunch. Once he parked near his old dorm and started meandering around the campus, that plan was forgotten. He was on his way back to the car when he thought of the Moonlight Cafe. It would be nice to see it, he thought. Is it worth it, though? Yes, why not?

He had not expected to be here in the fall again, so being able to enjoy the cool air and fall leaves without the stress and distraction was nice. Somehow everything here already felt different.

He touched the crosswalk button at the intersection separating campus from a block of shops and restaurants. David crosses and as he starts down the sidewalk he sees Max hanging out in front of the pub talking to Jim. Jim, the manager, had overseen many of their best (and worst) nights. Jim doesn't man the door as much anymore but he still seems to enjoy it.

Max spots David and his face lights up. He shakes his head while failing to hide a bemused smile. Something about the sight of David saddens him.

The plan was to go into Moonlight, their favorite coffee shop but the night air has Max feeling more like partying... He stands on the sidewalk looking like a cheesy cardboard sign with both hands pointing to the pub, eyebrows bouncing up and down.

Motley Crue can be heard on the jukebox whenever the door swings open and there’s no line yet, but there’s a few people milling around the entrance.

David manages a smile for Max and thinks “one last night at the pub” is tempting. But I don’t want to put the next day at risk of a hangover. A long drive is no fun when you're tired, sick, and have terrible food options.

Max sees the smile, but also senses that it's a "not tonight" kind of look, rather than the "hell yeah!" he was hoping for. Max shrugs before David shakes his head.

Max slumps his shoulders and shuffles from the pub with the bright green sign toward the subdued Moonlight Cafe next door. The coffee shop with the blue and yellow logo painted in the window is less exciting and less noisy than the pub but is also a favorite with lots of memories.

David laughs as he notices the t-shirt Max is wearing.

“Remember that?” Max says. “Still my favorite St. Patty's day.”

You wore that shirt for way too long", David replies with a smile.

Max turns to open the door and David’s smile strains a little. He rubs his face back into a neutral expression.

The cool air and Motley Crue are replaced with Elton John and a warm, coffee scented atmosphere.

They make a beeline for their favorite table in the corner by the window.

"You gonna order?" asks Max as he crashes into the chair across the table.

He’s only been away for a few months but somehow looking around the cafe makes David feel nostalgic. "Ya, just not sure what I want".

"Since when? Mocha. Hot. Extra shot. That's like, your thing."

“It is.” David replies. “But, I don’t know, I kinda just want something else, ya know?”

“Not really” says Max with an exaggerated laugh. “Hey if you order soon you might see Claire.”

Max is excited about this prospect, but David not so much.

“Ehh… I don’t know. That’s not a good idea is it?” David says.

“No. It’s a great idea” Max shoots back. “Claire is amazing and you never..”

“I know but it’s too late now”, David says.

Max is annoyed at this and his mood darkens a little.

“It wouldn’t have been too late a year ago. Or, hell, four months ago,” Max snaps.

David’s face sinks. Plans for a light hearted visit and a stroll down memory lane vanish. Regret moves through David like a wave.

“And it doesn’t have to be too late now” Max piles on, angered by David’s reticence.

“Dude, stop. That’s not why we’re here. I just came to…”.

“Really? Max interrupts. You walked all the way across campus, to THIS coffee shop, at THIS time of day, and bumping into Claire didn’t cross your mind?”

“No,” David bites back.

They look around. No one noticed the outburst. Almost everyone at Moonlight is studying alone and wearing earbuds.

“Besides, you don’t know that she’s here.”

A long silence at the table is broken when the opening notes of Tiny Dancer start playing.

“Elton John. Three in a row. That’s Claire,” they say in unison.

They sit quietly for a few more moments while David debates whether to order or just leave.

“Be right back” David says as he suddenly gets up and marches off, right past the unmanned counter and straight into the men’s room.

Max smiles and mutters, “wuss”.

David doesn’t really need to go so he just washes his hands and splashes water on his face. When he looks up he rolls his eyes at the reflection in the mirror. “Wuss,” he says aloud.

A young face, not Claire’s, greets David at the counter. Somewhat relieved, he asks “are there any specials right now?”

“Ya, I think so. Let me go check,” the new barista says as he turns toward the back room.

“Oh that’s ok, you don't have to…” David says, trying to stop him.

“It’s no problem at all,” the newbie says, already disappearing through the beaded curtain and into the kitchen.

“I’ll just have a mocha,” David whispers to himself.

David turns toward the table in the corner. Max is looking out the window. The crowd in front of the pub is growing. A couple walks through Moonlight’s creaky wooden door stopping to take off their coats, and looks at the holiday drinks menu on the easel between the door and the counter.

Dumbass, David thinks to himself. Walked right by it.

“Hi, can I help you?” a familiar voice says while David is scowling at the list of drinks. “Oh hey!” Claire says, recognizing this customer.

“He was asking about holiday drinks,” says Newbie, doing his best to contribute.

Before David can say he found the sign, Claire starts rattling off a well rehearsed speech beginning with “The Eggnog latte is pretty popular …”

She continues listing drinks but David is tuned out now. Max has noticed the development and is watching intently.

David realizes a couple seconds too late that Claire’s speech has ended and says, “uh … actually, i’ll try the eggnog one”.

“Eggnog latte?” Claire confirms.

“Right”.

“Excellent choice!” Claire says with a big smile.

Is she nervous too? David wonders.

David can feel Max watching them. David pulls out his card from his wallet and fumbles it while he tries to think what to say next. He knows what Max would want him to say.

“You gonna be hanging out a while?” Claire asks.

Relieved that she took the initiative but alarmed at the implication, David replies “uh, yes, sure.”

“I’m off at eight,” she says.

“Cool,” David replies.

“Corner by the window?” she asks.

“Yup,” David says.

David checks his phone as he walks back to the table. 7:30pm. Thirty minutes until Claire comes over to talk. And then what?

“Cool? Yup?”, that’s all you got?” Max teases.

“Man shut up” David says, smiling sheepishly.

“Oh and EGGNOG? Seriously?”

They both laugh.

“You’re ridiculous.”

“I know.”

Sensing Max’s excitement and wanting to temper it, David says “Even if I wasn’t freaked out about talking to Claire after all this time I still wouldn’t know what to say to her now.”

Ignoring the admonishment Max replies, “This is the shot you’ve been hoping for.”

“Have I, though? Have I been wanting this?” David whines, wanting to melt into the table. Or maybe make a run for it?

“Yes. Are you crazy? Yes you have.” Max says. Sounding like a coach bucking up a kid who’s having a bad game. “This is what you want. You know it is.”

“Ya, I know.” David confesses. “Shit. What the hell am I gonna say to her now?”

Max can only offer a confused look.

“I mean, I’m leaving TOMORROW,” David reminds him.

“Fucking dumbass,” Max mutters.

This hurts them both. The table goes quiet. They look outside. A line has formed outside the pub. A group shuffles through the cafe door, the last one holds the door for a tired looking student as she heads outside pulling a cap down over her ears. The Elton John playlist has stopped and an acoustic guitar can be heard tuning up in the back of the cafe.

After a few minutes of silence David says “wouldn’t it be stupid to start something now?”

“If it’s good, it’s worth it,” Max says. “And anything with Claire would be good.”

Across the cafe, Claire is introducing the night shift to the newbie.

“Especially for you,” Max says, leaning back in his chair, looking back out the window.

“What does that mean?” David asks.

“I mean I know you think things have to go a certain way. And that if they don’t then somehow it’s wrong, Max says. “So maybe take a risk here. That’s all.”

“That’s not true or fair.” David defends himself. “ I’ve made plenty of mistakes.”

"Mistakes?" Max says. "You see, that's the problem. Just because something doesn’t work out doesn't mean it's a mistake!”

David rolls his eyes and looks away out the window. "You know..." he warns, but Max interrupts.

"Oh please. Say it. Go ahead!" Max says, getting angrier.

"You never think about what's next, what about the…"

"Consequences," Max finishes for him. "Thanks, Dad."

"Come on, it's not like that," David pleads. "I don't want it to be like this."

"Me neither," Max agrees.

"I just wanted to have a simple visit before I go."

"I get it. But Utah?" Max says.

"I know. Not ideal,” David says, sensing Max’s pain. “But I've been with my parents since our lease ran out and if my options are three more months there, or Utah, I'm going to Utah."

"Ya, I get it." Max relents.

Unconvinced, David says "it does make sense".

Out the window, it’s gotten dark and a crowd is lined up for the pub. Claire is back at the counter now chatting with the others, not wearing her apron. Friday night is officially starting. David takes a tentative sip of the eggnog Latte.

"You could come back here... We could get a place. We can get jobs here." Max says, calmer now, leaning forward.

“Max, it's just not that easy.” David pleads.

“It CAN be that easy,” Max pushes back. “It would be just like school without homework and tests.”

Max is smiling now, thinking he’s nailed his point.

“What you are proposing is tempting, not convincing.” David says with a note of finality. “Moving to Utah is a plan. One that leads to other things. This is what we went to college for. This is a good thing”

“Good for a CAREER maybe, but here LIFE is good.”

“It WAS good. But staying here isn’t a plan. It doesn’t lead anywhere.”

“You’ll regret it.”

“ No. I’ll miss it.”

Max shakes his head in defeat. Then his face brightens just a bit and an eyebrow raises.

“What are you going to say to Claire?” he taunts.

David just breathes in slowly, then out loudly. He tries thinking this over but his mind is racing. Suddenly the whole thing is just too much.

This was a bad idea, David thinks.

“No it wasn’t” says Max. “You just didn’t think through the consequences of seeing Claire.”

“Touché.”

. . .

“He hasn’t been around for a while” Piper says as Claire emerges through the beaded curtain.

“No. I thought he’d moved away.” Claire answers.

“Are you gonna talk to him?” Piper asks with a smirk.

“Yes.” Claire says, “but about what?”

“Who cares,” Piper says giggling.

“Have a good night Piper,” Claire says in her best ‘professional’ tone.

“Have a good night Claire,” Piper says, making sure everyone hears.

. . .

David stiffens at hearing the announcement that Claire is officially off work. “Well this is happening.”

Max smiles.

. . .

As Claire approaches the table in the corner she sees Max is lost in thought, his eggnog latte mostly full.

“Hey Max,” Claire says. “Or is it David now? Did I hear you changed your name?”

David’s mind races. How would she know? Is she still..? Then finally he just lets out a nervous laugh - “heh heh, ya.”

Claire chuckles and takes the empty seat.

“Oh um… well yes. I kinda changed it” he stammers. “Actually, I’ve always gone by David but my roommates in freshman year spotted my middle name, Maximilian, on a piece of mail and got a kick out of calling me that instead. Eventually they shortened it and before I knew it, I was Max.”

“I see,” Claire says, smiling and getting comfortable in the wobbly chair.

“So it stuck and now most people from college don’t know my real name.” David finishes.

“Max is a real name,” Claire says with a shrug.

David smiles and looks down at his nearly untouched drink.

“So, now you’re back and you’re David,” Claire states for the record. “What’s next?”

Suddenly David isn’t ready to talk about the future or plans. Especially not Utah.

“Well I got a job,” he says.

It must have come out less than enthusiastically because Claire asks, "And that's good?"

"Ya it's good," David says with a nervous smile. "Well, how about you?" he deflects.

"I started grad school. It's going ok but..." Claire says and starts recounting recent events.

Taking advantage of the break while Claire talks about herself, David does his best to calm himself and focus. He sits up straighter, takes a long breath and sips the lukewarm latte, forgetting that it's eggnog.

Claire stops in the middle of recounting some grad school drama when she sees his face. "You don't like it?"

"No, it's fine," David says.

"I'm not really a fan," Claire confesses. "But, got to have holiday drinks!" she declares, towing the company line.

They both smile and nod. An awkward silence begins to develop while neither can think of anything to say.

After a few painful seconds they're saved by the appearance of a taco truck pulling up to the curb outside.

"Maria's!!" Claire chirps.

"Oh man! Hey, do you remember when they were just working out of a cart?" David asks.

"Yes! Up and down the block all night," Claire recalls. "It's hard to picture this place without them!"

"How about when... " David starts.

"When drunk Max ordered tacos for the whole group but didn't have any money!" Claire says laughing.

"Still can't believe I did that," David says.

They both laugh.

"I can't believe that was two years ago," Claire puts in. "Hey, what about that time..."

They start swapping old stories and time passes easily.

David takes in the scene. Two old friends talking, live music, his favorite coffee shop.

Conversation winds down and they're both smiling. David marvels at how quickly he became comfortable sitting here talking to Claire, and that she seems to be enjoying herself.

Claire is still smiling when she notices the look on David’s face. She tilts her head and says "What's up?"

Am I really doing this?, David thinks, then is surprised by his own voice.

"Utah," he answers.

Claire responds with a puzzled look.

"The job, uh, my job, is in Utah," David blurts, nerves returning.

"Oh," says Claire. "That's far."

"It is," David agrees. "But it's what I was looking for and I was lucky to find it. But still, ya, it's far."

"Well good for you!" Claire says. "When do you start?"

"Monday," David says, feeling guilty.

"Well I'm glad I saw you today," Claire says.

The bubble has burst and what was easy banter moments before turns to awkwardness.

"I'm... Me too," David says. "I wanted to see the place one more time so I decided to stop by."

"Ya, good," Claire says, still nodding.

A brief silence takes over and the noises of the cafe and the crowd waiting for their turn at the pub creep back into their awareness.

"Well…" they both start and chuckle awkwardly.

"I should check on something before I go," says Claire, suddenly in a rush.

Claire's emotional turn nearly goes unnoticed by David. He starts to apologize, wants to say more, isn't ready to leave… But Claire is getting up.

Standing now, they both avoid eye contact.

"So..." David starts.

"Ya, hey, good luck out there," Claire says. "Really. I hope it goes well."

"Thanks. And you too," David says. "Keep in touch?" David asks.

"Oh ya," Claire agrees.

Neither can decide if they should hug or fist bump.

"See ya," Claire says with a smile, pauses for a moment, then walks to the back of the cafe.

No hug. No fist bump. Claire is gone. David stands alone next to the empty table.

"Bye”.

. . .

The warmth of the cafe gives way to cold as David pushes open the wooden door and maneuvers through the noisy, shivering crowd. Glancing to his right, he catches Jim’s eye. They exchange a head nod and a smile, then David turns left and starts the walk back toward his car.

He is aware of all the familiar sounds fading behind him but he won't look back. Picking up the pace as he cuts through the quad, he finds his car, opens the door, sits down, and starts the engine. Something makes him pause for a second, and he whispers to himself.

"What am I doing?"

No one answers.

David puts the fully loaded car into drive, pulls out into evening traffic, and heads toward the interstate.