Looks Can be deceiving

Looks can be deceiving is part of my story. I'm blind and have been for over thirty years. So looks don't mean anything to me. I'm sixty seven years old now. I've been blind half my life. I will admit sometimes it has been hard. And other times interesting. Alot of people just upstand blindness. There is various kinds of blindness. To ne considered legally blind you have to have vision 20/200 or less. Or ne completely blind like me. I was in a bad car accident years ago. And had a bad TBI. My eyes are fine but I lost the signal to my brain. The way the doctor explained it to me was your eyes are like a camera it takes a picture, But you brain develops the image. To make it simple you see with your brain and not your eyes.

I have many interesting stories to tell but the book would be a long one.

I remember I was walking down the street with my white cane going nowhere special. I could here someone walking towards me. All of a sudden it was like Moses parting the Red Sea. They just disappeared.

Another time I had just moved into a town. It was a Saturday morning I was walking home from a store. There were some people hanging out in front of the local dinner. Kids were running around and having fun. All of a sudden a little boy runs up to me a grapes my white cane a takes off with it. It couldn't have been more than five.

When his mother caught up with him he got a spanking. After I realized what had happened I couldn't help nut laugh.

Another time I was in a different town . I walked into this restaurant white cane in hand. I found an empty table and sat down. The waitress came over asked me what I wanted to drink, I tolded her and as she walked away she laid a menu on my table. she come back a few minutes later and asked me if I decided what I wanted. I said no not yet. I' think to my self this is going to be fun. I folded my white cane up and folded it on my table in front of me where i thought she would see it.

She comes back the third time and asked me if I looked at the menu and I said no. She got mad and asked me .What are you blind? By now I'm tapping my white cane on my table

and smiling. You could hear pin drop. When she realized what see did. O' I so sorry.

I will have to admit the meal I had was very good and I went there many times.

Now to change the topic for a minutes. Yes there is times when I get said, I have four children from my first marriage. My youngest was five when I went bling. Now she is forty. I still see her in my mind as a little girl. I have five grandkids I have never seen before. At least not with my eyes. You might think I'm crazy if I tell you this going blind was a blessing in disguise. I believe now that God gave me a gift. The ability to see with my heart and not my eyes. That's where the truth comes in. Looks can be deceiving. I have met people in my life that drive a fancy car. A fancy home. But when that door closes their are miserable. I have talked to people that live under bridges that have a heart of gold.

One thing I have developed threw the years is a built in BS detector. That has worked many times to my advantage.

I wrote a book a few years back it's about a blind Private Detective. He lost his eye sight in combat. After coming home and a lot of hard work he became one of the best PI"s ever. That's just a sample of what a person can become. One of the biggest things I learned as a writer is don't give up.

I had this 5th grade English teacher she seen something in me no one else did. I was a good storyteller.

I was picked on for years about that. No one thought I was good enough. That was back in the 1970's. That seems so long ago.

When you hit a certain age you look back at your life differently. You have regrets. I could have should have but didn't. I also learned you can't change the past. What is done is done. But it is what you do with those memories is what matters. Because slowly as you get older some of those memories slip away. Where they end up I have yet to find out. I have to think of my mind as a organic computer. When I delete files where do they go? Cyber Space? Outer Space? When you find out let me know. I've been looking for my marbles for years. With a little luck you might find them for me.

Many things in my life have come and gone. Hot cats , motorcycles. People. Money. I did learn something. All that doesn't mean anything when your alone. When you lay in bed at night the only thing to keep you company is your thought's and your tears. and you pray to God you wish things were different. That's when things start to look different.

I spend a lot of my time now trying to help others. If nothing more than someone for them to talk to. And to listen. I don't know about you but sometimes I need the same. Most of my childhood friends are gone. I have one good friend I have had for fifty years. That's a hard one to swallow. I have one last thing to say, Love your friends and family. They won't be here for ever.

I hope you have enjoyed this story.

I have many more.

Conrad Metcalf AKA Bradley Shadows