The Edge of the Universe

“Swing low, sweet chario-uh-ut. Comin’ forth to carry me home. Swing-”

Would you stop that? Please, I’m begging you. 

C’mon, I’ve got nothing else to do while we’re just sitting here. 

I’d rather listen to the silent sounds of space. 

“Swing low, sweet chario-”

“Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but we’re running low on oxygen; we’re stranded, and we don’t know if anyone is coming to get us. We don’t have time for this nonsense. We have to come up with a plan.”

He looked off into the distance, into the black abyss that seemed to have swallowed them whole. 

“Don’t worry, Earl, we’ll get home.”

“Why do you think that? We’ve got a beacon that can barely send a signal, and the stupid oxygen monitor keeps beeping at us.”

The monitor had been beeping for hours, but it was hard to keep track of time when you’re trapped in a void. Hypoxia is no gentle way to go. It’s slow, until it’s suffocating. Earl had started feeling the effects. His thoughts had become sluggish, and his vision seemed strangely distant at times.

“Look up, won’t you.”

Earl was hesitant, as he’d been staring at his gloves for what seemed like forever, until they were all he could see. 

“Tell me. What do you see?”

“I see- I see-” he hesitated as he turned to look down at his lap again. 

“Just stars.” Earl said abruptly. 

“Do you want to know what I see?”

“No, but I’m sure you’re gonna tell me anyway.” He fixed his eyes on the armrest to his left that let off a faint flashing red light that read “low”. 

Earl let out a heavy sigh. “Go on, tell me.”

Even though the dark visor made it impossible for Earl to see his comrade’s face, he could hear the smile in his voice. As if he didn’t have a care in the world, even though it felt like theirs was coming to an end.

“I look into those stars, those places so far off we couldn’t get there in a million lifetimes, and I see hope. I see a future for mankind; I see a savior who could save the world. That’s why we're out here, Earl, to find hope.”

For a moment it was quiet again. He looked up only for a moment, past their broken shuttle, hoping to see what his comrade saw in the stars. He seemed so certain it was there, Earl wanted to believe it too. But when he looked into the stars, all he felt was overwhelming emptiness. He let out a quiet huff. 

“You always were an optimist, weren’t you, Jaco- er, Jackson. That kinda talk can get annoying, you know. Even at a time like this, you find a way to make me laugh.”

“I’ve got a reason to be optimistic. A reason to hope.”

“And why’s that? And don’t you say the stars or something cheesy like that again; I’ll send you right out the hatch door and send you flying.”

His comrade kept his gaze fixed on the space in front of them, as if waiting to see a bright light emerge from the darkness, or to see the savior he spoke of to reveal himself.

“I got a wife and a baby, a mom, a pop, and a little brother waiting for me back on Earth. God I miss my brother, he left the house years ago. But when I get back, I’m gonna see him again.”

His voice softened, and Earl could hear the optimism in his words. As if he could picture the reunion in his head. Like it was more than a hope, but a promise. 

“They’re waiting for me to come home, to tell them my stories of space and saving the world. I gotta be a good example for the kid, ya know? What about you, Earl? Got anyone back home?”

Earl hesitated for a moment as he shifted in his uncomfortable metal chair. His fingers fidgeted nervously in his lap.

“I’ve got no one, not even a place I’d call a home. I had a girl. Alice… no. Allison. Treated me nice, but I got cold after I came back from the war. She got tired of me and left. That's why I’m here. Looking for a second chance, a chance to redeem myself. Or maybe prove that I’m more than what I used to be. Ever since they opened up the listings for any rank in the Navy, I didn’t hesitate to enlist.”

His voice turned somber, as if he was reliving those memories all over again.

“Besides, what do I have to lose?”

Earl tried to believe what he said. But even though he told himself he enlisted for a good cause, something was tugging at him. 

“What about your folks? I’m sure they’re proud their son made it to the Auroscape Naval conquest.”

“My parents…” Earl looked up into the abyss as he fidgeted in his chair again, gently pushing against the restraints. As if they were holding him back from remembering a stained past. 

“My parents… I… can’t go back there.”

“Why not?” 

Earl’s tone hardened as he started to tug at the straps holding him in his metal chair. As if he were trying to free himself from a haunting memory. 

“Because I was never a good son to them. After I was discharged from the Navy, I didn’t know what to do with my life. The war ended, but nothing was the same when I returned. Or nothing felt the same. My home… felt like a museum of a past I didn’t want to remember. I got low. I didn’t know what to do anymore; I’d lost my purpose. So I… decided to try some of that new stuff back on Earth, that was supposed to make you feel better. I got hooked, couldn’t shake it. I couldn’t bear to see the disappointment in my mother’s eyes, so I ran. And I stole money from my brother, my best friend in the whole world, to start fresh in a new town. Where no one knows my name-or my past. That’s why I can’t go back, Jared. They don’t want me.” 

Everything was quiet for a moment. The silence of the vacuum of space was no comfort, even though Earl said he preferred it to his comrades singing. Out of the deafening silence came the faint beeping of the oxygen tank that sat between the two seats. 

Beep.Beep.Beep

Every few seconds, the tank would let off a faint beep that echoed through the shuttle walls. Telling its passengers that time was almost up. 

“Hey, Jake.”

“What is it, Earl?”

“We’re just floating out here, right?”

“Yeah, so?”

“Do you think they’ll ever find us out here? Do you think they’re even looking for us?”

He offered a half-suppressed chuckle, which was no comfort.

“Earl, I have no doubt in my mind we’ll be found.”

He let out a low huff, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d been told. “But Jack, we’re all the way out here in the unknown region, without a station in sight; our transmitter is barely even letting out a signal. What makes you think we’ll be rescued?”

“Don’t give up hope. I know I haven’t. You’ll make it back; you gotta make it right with your family. 

Silence filled the shuttle, and for the first time, Earl hated the silence.

“Hey, you’ll find your way back home. I know it.”

The deafening silence returned, and Earl couldn’t help but feel as if something was hopelessly wrong. There was that tugging again. 

“Look at me, Earl.”

He hesitated for a moment, then slowly turned his body to face his comrade in the other seat. 

“Look at me, look at my face.”

“I-Ican’t, James. The solar visor is dark, and I can’t see past it.”

Everything was still as Earl studied his helmet to see the face within the spacesuit that kept his comrade's face a mystery.

“Try again, but this time, look beyond the visor, look beyond the helmet. Look at me, see my badge, see my suit. See my name. My name, Earl.”

Earl was confused, but did what he said. He glanced past the helmet and traced down the neck to the shoulder facing him. 

“JEC” 101st Aerospace Naval unit.

“Hey, what a coincidence that’s the same initials as my father. Jasper Edicot Cochran Sr. My older brother carried on his name. I hope I get to see him again one day.”

Beep. Beep.

Another warning from the oxygen tank.

Earl looked up from his lap and into the stars. But he didn’t feel a sense of hope; he felt an overwhelming fear of the unknown, of what he’d left behind, of being stranded in the void.  

“By the way, Earl. I really am sorry.”

“Sorry for what? You’ve done nothing wrong. Nothing at all.”

“That’s the thing, Earl, I did nothing. 

“I thought… I thought I could help, maybe boost the signal. Get you back home.”

His voice trailed off as he looked at the transmitter.

Its faint light illuminated the space around it. 

The soft red beam lit the inside of the shuttle. 

Shards of glass.

A damaged console.

And… an empty seat next to it with broken restraints.

Empty.

Earl kept his focus on his hands, his thick, padded gloves.

Useless… useless hands. 

“Ja- James?”

“James, do you really think someone will find us?”

“Yes, Earl. I think something will find us.”

“But… but this is a journey you must make on your own. I’m not coming with you.”

“But what about your family, what about your kid? Your wife? Your folks?”

“I know my brother will look after them… Won’t he?

“Won’t you… Earl.”

Earl slowly looked to his right to see his comrade's metal chair, the same as his own, only missing something. He followed the trail of glass shards suspended in the vacuum of space. The trail led to the shattered windshield of the shuttle, and beyond that… Beyond that… in the endless abyss, was a spaceman, traveling among the stars. Drifting through the edge of the universe. His helmet cracked, his space suit torn, and his visor… his visor gone. 

Beep.

“I can see. I can see now. Jasper. I can see your face.”

He looked into the stars one more time as he gently closed his eyes. For the first time since their expedition, he felt warmth; he felt hope. For the first time, he wondered if Jasper had been right.

Earl began to hum the same tune. “Swing low, sweet chariot. Comin’ forth to carry me home.” “I’ll make it home, don’t worry, Jasper. I’ll make it home.”