Hanging On By a Thread

The colorless guise in the midst of peril was I, Zara Antonelli.

It was a bright cold day in April and the clock struck five. The death hour. The hour that reminded me why I spent my days alone in my lodging. I had no life anymore, at least not after the abiding reminiscence of my past. Vincent was truly such a pure, young soul. Not a living creature would dare end a life such as his. Yet here I am. Unable to escape the torture nor face it, I live lifeless.

I noticed a familiar person approaching through the window. The woman bearing mail tapped my door and stood patiently until I opened it. I dragged myself to the door and unwillingly greeted her.

“Zara ma’am. How do you do?” She smiled warmly.

That was something miraculous about this woman, Gina. No matter how terrible the climate was, she would deliver your papers with a smile on her face. Furthermore she would inquire about your day; oftentimes it would make any sorrow within you disappear. However, her enthusiasm couldn’t do anything for me today.

I inhaled strongly, “All right, and you?”

“The usual duties of my job live on.” she let out a quick chuckle, and handed the stack to me, “It was nice chatting with you but the sooner I finish this, the better my day is.”

With that, she left towards her truck and hurried off. I closed the door behind me and there I was again, all alone. I realized how this slight interaction could dynamically change my day. Now I wished I had comrades to comfort me. Sitting beside me, gently fondling my hair. Alas, those kinds of people only exist if you’re an honest person. Far from the reality of my existence.

I dragged myself to the kitchen and pulled my refrigerator door open. There lay nothing but two oranges and an empty carton of milk. Nothing sufficient for dinner yet again. A moody groan escaped my lips, and I held my eyes close. Tears ambushed me swifter than I could stop them. My flushed cheeks felt as though they could stick to anything. I reached for my mail and picked up the letter on top. To my surprise, inside it was a first use coupon for a brand new ristorante. Having never eaten at a restaurant before, my mind raced back and forth. Truly I had no other choice but to discover this new place. I was starving. The side of my forehead became numb.

I knew this meant I would have to converse with others. What if they speak rudely to me? What if they misunderstand me? Who would understand anything I say when I barely know how to speak. I forced myself to disregard these thoughts. Trying something new could be a good experience for me. I extended my arms to grab my handbag, and slipped my loafers on. Then I was out out in the cold, empty, desolate world. The walk felt interminable, each step of the way I pushed my head down and glared at my shoes. Chiming bells danced in my ears, over and over again. For the first time, I lifted my head up. There it was. The beautiful ristorante stood, decorated with colorful bells and lights. As I approached the door, it was whipped open. The merry bell sang a hymn.

“Good day. Do you have a reservation for Leonardo’s Ristorante?” a slim man standing by the door called out. He wore a green apron with red stripes. Leonardo’s Ristorante was printed in fine white letters in the shape of an apron.

“I do not, but I received this coupon. I live near here. Do you mind if I dine here? It’s okay if you don’t accept me,” I paused and sniffled, “ I won’t feel bad. These kinds of things happen for people like me. Noticeably, I am under a lot of-”

“Madam, you need not explain yourself to me. Honestly, anyone is welcome. Please follow me.”

I did as he said. The moment I entered the restaurant, it felt as though a mountain of bricks collapsed from my heart. I felt a sense of relief here, and that was just what I needed.

Time passed as I waited for my order. I eyed a pepper shaker. Tap. Tap. Tap. Time passed slower than my drumming of the innocent thing. I pondered for a while, until I noticed two pairs of strange eyes lurking. When I stood up to collect my food, they appeared again. I enjoyed my food, but soon decided to leave. As I exited the restaurant, the bell did its job. I began walking towards my home. No later than a minute, the chime of the bell repeats itself. I twirled around, and there they were again. Two men.

Bubbles arose in my body, and they began to burn. I wasn’t able to take a close look at the men, but their presence was enough to send me into a panic. What if this was because of my past?

I began walking swiftly. Tap tap tap tap tap tap. Each footstep was more audible than the previous one. Despite my puffing, I could hear louder footsteps behind me. All of a sudden, I bolted. Without thinking, the first thing I did was the universal instinct. Faster than lightning, I simply ran. A great deal of air filled my lungs, and the world never felt more frightening. I whipped my head around, and to my surprise the men were no longer there. So I found an area behind an alley to catch my breath. I lay legs crossed, sulking in despair, upon the unwelcoming earth of Craco. Piercing screams echoed in the dark alley. I discerned the potent whiff of blood, only to discover it drenched my blouse. My gaze diverted to the icy, concrete walls above me in the alley. I brushed my hands against them eagerly, but its unwelcoming nature elicited a chill through my spine. The scent of dust and faint dampness urged me to explore further. I massaged my fingers together, crimson stains marred my palms. Through the hollow walls, I overhead the voices of the resonant men. I knew they were coming, but suddenly all I could cogitate was my heavy breathing and pounding heart. It wasn’t ‘til this very moment that I was compelled to believe my life was nearly about to end. Such events are exactly what I seek to avoid. Thump, thump, thump. My heart aligned with my feet as they both sensed danger gaining.

The voices of them inched closer and closer to me, all I could do was anticipate their quick exit. I glanced around and finally considered departing from my hideout. I could see an almost identical alleyway a few meters away from me. I began debating my next course of action. But soon, I realized the footsteps of the men were no longer raucous. In fact, they could not even be heard. I noticed a large sable waste bin perched at the corner of the alley I had planned to approach. This was perfect, I reckoned I could conceal myself by hiding there. So I took the opportunity, and thus darted there. I hadn’t noticed it before but suddenly the gentle gust of air was no longer there.

I hurried along, and soon arrived at the alley. The air squeezed my plump cheeks, and my complexion soon became luminous and rosy. Perching myself behind the waste bin, I concentrated on hearing, like an impatient hawk. It was pin drop silent, especially after I made a decision to hold my breath. Nipping my nose tightly, I used my heightened sense of sound to attempt to uncover the men’s location. It seemed the only thing audible was the occasional intense wind.

I relaxed my nose and looked around. Nobody was in sight. I placed a foot beside the dustbin, then my other foot joined it. Nobody was in sight. I took another step forward and looked around again. Nobody was in sight. I walked to the middle of the street, and peered into the distance. Still nobody was in sight.

A grim voice shouted out from behind me, ““Grasp her, Romeo!”

“Prepare your gun, Giuseppe!” another replied.

I pivoted around and nose-to-nose there was a sinewy shadow of a man. There he stood, covered in an FBI vest and clutching two guns assertively at me. His broad shoulders and his trim waist seemed to indicate his dedication. But something about him was certainly off. Inferring from his looks, the screaming of the voices previously bamboozled me.

From behind me, I felt a pair of two hands wrap around my back. Before a sturdy grip was placed, I whipped around and there another man was. Without further waiting, I striked his smirk using all my remaining strength. His mouth coiled up and his eyes swelled. Just like a fly, the man dropped to the ground in seconds. I could see his FBI vest far away from his body. He let out a few cries, as puddles of blood filled his frail body. In spite of this, I supplied him with multiple kicks. I then collected all my potential so as to make his insides ooze out. The other man, standing in front of me, who initially shouted to grasp me, stood there in awe. His gun now pointed to the ground, and his eyebrows bunched up.

Strength and courage I never knew existed filled my body. So much so that it was overflowing. Moments later, the man with the gun, Romeo, sprinted at me and sprung his body onto mine. My body collapsed. The feeling when my body hit the compact ground left unbearable aching.

He stared coldly into my eyes while adjusting the gun.

The only thing I could do was wait. Wait for my body to gather strength. For my body to gather energy and fight back. He pointed it to my forehead and grinned. His finger adjusted and the trigger was about to be pulled.

In one swift movement, I thrusted my elbows right into his face and sent him rolling off me. His gun tumbled across the ground away from him. I picked the gun up, but I could only focus on my shivering and how short-winded I was. I assured myself this was the right thing to do, so I pulled the trigger. Straight at the man. Bang. My whole body vibrated, I was truly aghast. The devil had resurfaced at this very moment to the alley. The devil was me. I had just killed two men, in cold-blood. I was never a killer. I was always the victim. Maybe I wasn’t hanging on by a thread anymore.

The End..