Finding Myself

At first, I wasn’t going to go visit my dad for the summer break. Then the thought quickly dissipated and I decided to book that trip. A knock suddenly at my door. Who is it? I asked. Thomas its your mother, open the door please. I got up from my laptop, looked outside of my window to see my little brother playing with the next-door neighbors. Opening the door, my mom walked in. “Hey Mom how’s it going?” as I spoke. “I’ll tell you how’s it going Thomas, you’ve been very distant for a few days now and I am a little concern. Your demeanor has changed ever since we moved here and I want some answers.” She said to me kindly. “Alright mom, well to be honest with you everything has been so weird and just boring around here. I’m trying to fit in with new friends and it has been hard, I also started my own creative writing club to help others build their own craft and no luck. So that’s why I have been so distant, just trying to figure some things out. And I am really sorry mom,” I said with a warm gesture and extended a hug. Her arms opened up to embrace me. “Well Thomas, I needed that clarity from you and I completely understand where you’re coming from it’s been a long journey for all of us. But just know that I am here and if you ever need a listening ear son, please don’t shut me out. Let’s talk about it okay,” she smiled at me. Thank you mom and I will.

We both got up at the same time and as she was leaving. She asked, “So I know you were debating on whether you should visit your dad on your summer break, I think you should do it. Visiting New York will be such an experience for you. Besides your childhood friend Mikey would be so elated to see you and you both can hang out and catch up. Like how you young boys like to say, parlaying with your crew.” I started giggling as I just listened to her convincing me to book my trip. We call him Mikey for short but his real name is Mike, I knew him since grade school way back when I was living in NYC at that time. I just blurted out and told her, “Mom it’s already booked.” That’s so amazing Thomas, I love that for you so much. It’s the end of your semester and I just want you to have fun and make great memories. She covered her mouth as she clutched her chest and reached over to touch my face with her hands. “What are you and Lucas going to do while I am away?” I asked her. “Oh, you don’t worry about that I have some things in stored for us to do, Lucas is adapting a bit and he already gave me a list that he wants to do this summer,” she replied and laughed.

The day seemed so long as I started to pack away some clothes for my trip that I booked for next week. I couldn’t believe that I will be traveling to NYC for the summer. It’s been over a year to be exact. Ever since my dad and mom divorced, we ended up moving to California, mom got a job transfer while my dad got into another relationship and stayed in New York. My dad’s girlfriend Sara is pretty cool, she always allowed me to be myself and just live like a teenager is supposed to do, with some boundaries of course anytime we have our conversations. When I was much younger, I used to think that my mom and dad relationship was going to last forever, but life just go in the way and they just grew apart.

Having a younger brother has built a connection between us that is such an unbreakable bond. Our favorite things to do is play video games, draw and shooting the hoops once in a while. Just watching him play outside with his friends brings up so much fond memories of us when we were younger. Me and Lucas are only four years apart. A sudden ring from my cellphone went off and it was a call from my dad. “Hey Buddy it’s your dad,” he said. “Hey Dad how are you doing? I was going to call you sooner.” I replied. “Oh really, I thought you would since we last had a discussion of you coming out here for the summer.” He said to me. “About that I made my decision and I want to spend time with you and Sara.” I told him.

He paused for a second and before I knew it, he started yelling for Sara to come to the phone. “Guess what honey, Thomas is staying with us over the summer. I can’t wait to see you and take you around son and just have some fun. We have a lot of things to do, definitely need to catch up”, he said to me. My dad handed Sara the phone and she responded, “oh my goodness Thomas this is wonderful news, we have been expecting you. Also, your friend Mikey has been popping up nonstop to find out whether or not if you we actually coming. I will let him know that you will be here next week. Have you spoken to him yet?”, she asked me. “Umm Sara, let’s wait on that for a second because I want to surprise him with a gift. And no, I haven’t reached out yet because I was so busy with my final exams.” It’s quite alright I am sure he would understand, besides he probably had to do the same as school is currently about to wrap up for this semester. My conversation with my dad went so well we stayed on the phone for about an hour and a half longer just to catch up like the good old days. Both my dad and Sara said their goodbyes and told me to reach back out when I was heading to the airport.

As I wrapped up the last of my assignments for school, I submitted my exam online for my finals. Now all I can is just sit back, relax and wait. I closed my laptop and headed downstairs. The aroma of food just hit my nostrils as I took a deep breath inward. “Mm something smells really delicious mom, what are you cooking?” I asked her. She looked at me surprisingly and enthusiastic. “Tonight, I am making roasted potatoes with baked chicken, sauteed vegetables, wild rice and some biscuits on the side. These new recipes that I found on Pinterest have been very inspiring and trying out these new recipes has me really motivated,” she replied. “Oh, wow mom that’s really fantastic and I must say I enjoy all the meals that you have made so far. You’re doing great.” She starred at me for a sight second, her warm eyes said it all. “Thomas, can you go get your brother and let him know that dinner will be ready in a few minutes.” Sure mom, I said and left the house.

There my brother was playing football with our neighbors’ kids next door. One thing for certain was that my little brother loves to play sports especially football and he is so good at it. Next year he told me he was going to try out for the football team at his new high school that he will be joining. He’s also a good runner too, just running circles on them literally. I laughed to myself. “Hey Lucas!” I called out. He turned around slightly as he was about to throw the ball. I said, “Mom needs you home now we are about to eat dinner soon.” I’m coming, Lucas responded back. Lucas throws the football back to his friend and told them he had to go inside for dinner.

Sunday’s always felt special to me because we sit at the dinner table together and just talk about life and the most random things that comes to our mind. That’s the time we love to share stories that turns into memorable moments. I couldn’t believe this was my last week here in California, time went by so fast. “C’mon you’re always cheating me at this game Lucas, let up a bit.” I said with laughter while playing a video game with my brother. Lucas turned around busting out laughing. I started tickling him hoping that it would distract him. “No, I’m not cheating, I’m just getting better at this game,” he said. Lucas got up from the ground to give me a huge hug. “I’m going to miss you when you’re gone,” he told me with a soft like whisper. “Hey buddy, I am just one phone call away.” I told him. He looked at me with a bit of sadness. “We can facetime each other and play videogames when we both have the time. I’m definitely going to miss you too. How does that sound?” I asked him. His eyes lit up and he just smiled and said, “That sounds good.” Then we just continued playing more video games until it was time for bed.

The last few days felt invigorating and well spent. Some of my friends visited me before I left and we hanged out, went for dinner and a movie. I got my test results back early the next day and I passed all of my courses this semester. I was so relieved and proud of myself. One less stressor and more time for me to just breath and enjoy my vacation. I packed away about two suitcases of clothes and some gifts for my dad, Sara and Mikey. Since I was going to be in NYC for about two months, I wanted to make sure that I carried enough clothing to wear. Grabbed all of my electronics that I know I would be using and of course a book that I wanted to read for the plane ride on my solo downtime, if I even get any of course. Later on, I had a brief call with my dad letting him know that I will be arriving tomorrow evening. Before I knew it, my alarm was going off. I got into the shower and rushed to get myself ready to head to the airport.

My luggage’s were downstairs and my mom and Lucas were there waiting for me. Today was the big day and I was ready. My mom grabbed her car keys and said, “Okay boy’s let hit the road we don’t want to run into any kind of traffic on our way to the airport.” I grabbed my stuff and headed to the car while my mom locked the door behind us. The car ride was quiet at times yet spontaneous from the jokes of my little brother. He always knew how to make me laugh with out even trying. We had some good music playing in the background and we drove to our destination. The highways were a bit hectic, however we managed to make it on time with about two hours to spare. My mom parked the car at the departure gate and came out to help me with my luggage’s. I felt the warm air against my skin and the sudden realization hit me that I was going away and leaving my family behind. “Don’t you give me that look”, she said as I helped with my luggage. “Are you going to be, okay?” I asked her. “Me and Lucas are going to be just fine, stop worrying so much. I just want you to be safe, enjoy your time out there and get inspired. Hey this time around you just might write the greatest story ever. And I want to hear all about it. I love you, Thomas.” She said to me warmly.” Alright mom, I’m going to call you when I get the chance, so I can tell you about all of the crazy things I see on the subway and the adventures that I explore. I love you too” I said with a smile. Lucas started giggling. I gave them both a hug and headed inside.

Before I boarded my flight, I grabbed some things that I wanted to eat and snack on. I had a seat next to the window as I love window views and to cloud watch while I listen to my music. But this time around seemingly felt different as I had a change of mind. Being that I enjoyed reading so much I realized that I had the opportunity to go back to the drawing board to finding myself again. I’ve been wanting to read this book for a very long time and I haven’t gotten the chance to until now on a 6-hour flight to NYC. I opened the book and turned the page and begun reading the first chapter of Dune by Frank Herbert.