The forgotten bond

To: Felix

Subject: It's snowing

Hi,

I cannot believe I am doing this. It's peak winter here. I think I am seeing snow for the first time in a long time. It snowed all day yesterday. It didn't stop snowing until this morning. Tiny snowflakes falling from the sky, I sat by the window all day. The snow instantly made me think of you. I remembered the snow man we used to build during our childhood, during cold snowy days. Grandma's place is where I have the fondest memories of us. A part of me wants to be young again and play with you.

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

Hey,

Sorry, it took me so long to respond. I didn't expect to see this email in my inbox. It has been so long. I guess I was making sure I respond in the right way.

In my state, it is raining. Dark grey clouds hover and burst into showers every now and then. Now that you mentioned the snow, I remember you dragging us outside until our hands went numb. The wet pavement here reminds me of that.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

Oh yes. The snowballs. I miss those days so much. I don't see anyone playing with snow here. Not around me. People are looking to clear it as soon as possible. It's probably because students often walk to school and it's harder when there is inches of snow. Walking to school from my apartment takes about twenty-five minutes and I quite enjoy it.

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

I've heard that you are doing well and are enjoying school life.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

You know can always reach out to me directly. Anyway, yes, I am doing well. Studying almost 10-12 hours a day. My quarter one exams are almost here. It has been very busy. I don't miss home as much as I would have liked. Studies and chores occupy most of my day. How's work?

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

Work is good. Regular 9-5 job. Can't complain. I moved into new apartment. Unpacking boxes slowly and settling in.

I found it easier to talk to others and ask about you. Do you have friends?

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

Not really. It is hard to fit in especially because I take time to open up. I hangout with my classmates from time to time.

I remember how you were my only best friend while growing up. I feel sad it is not the same anymore. When you left home to study, I had a feeling, things would change and they did. When you visited home the last time, we made small talk.

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

Life happens. School was so busy, I worked nights at the lab. As long as I got updates about you, I didn’t feel the need to reach out. But maybe I should have reached out more especially now when you are in the same country as me.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

Well, there were so many times I wanted to reach out. I drafted emails but never sent them, I thought you would not respond and I could not live with the disappointment. When I saw the snow, I thought of you and giving us a fresh start. I wrote that email sitting at my desk for hours before hitting send. Those three weeks waiting for your response were the longest I can remember. When you did respond, I breathed a sigh of relief.

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

I am glad you reached out.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

A one-line response. Hmmmm. Well, I don't blame you. You still are as guarded with your emotions as when you were younger. Movies made you emotional and often cried but in real life it was a rare sight.

Anyway, I have my first exam tomorrow. Wish me luck.

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To: Adina

Subject: It's snowing

All the best, you will do well.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

The exams are going fine. But I spend hours and hours alone just sitting in silence. I guess the winter depression is getting to me. My walls are butterscotch in color, the same as butterscotch ice cream. I like looking at them when it gets dark at 4 pm. I hesitate to ask, but do you think we’ll ever talk on the phone in the future?

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

Maybe it’s just the exams and you are sick of studying? And yes, we will. I can’t promise to talk a lot but I will hear you out.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

I know it’s not just the exams. I feel depressed. It’s like a silent hum in the background. The good thing is, when I step out in the snow it brings me back to the present moment. How are your cats doing?

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

I have never enjoyed snow as much as you did, but it does evoke memories in my mind. The cats are getting older and the smaller one is getting naughtier. It’s fun to have them around.

How long until spring break?

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

Well, I have a presentation and one exam left plus a few lectures to attend. Another fifteen days. I still have the picture of us in the garden where you are hugging me and looking into the camera happy. I don't know when we stopped being like that.

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Adina waited for two days but there was no response from Felix.

To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

I somehow knew you would not respond to that. Anyway, I was sitting in class earlier today for a marketing lecture and happened to open my phone. This COVID virus is spreading rapidly, in January there was only one case in the US, but now the cases are increasing by the day. I rabbit holed into this and now I think I am spiraling. Do you have any thoughts or information?

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

I have been tracking it online. It does not look good. I have an extremely long and busy day at work today; I will write a longer response once I am done.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

PANIC ALERT- We got news today and it is freaking me out. A faculty member on campus got it. A stay-at-home order has been issued by the state. Our spring break has been extended by one week. When classes resume, they will be conducted remotely. They have advised that students who are leaving campus to not return until further notice. People are booking tickets to go home. Panic and fear are in the air. I cannot sleep at night. I don’t know how my status will get affected as an international student. Do you know what’s going to happen?

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

First of all, see you if can calm down. I know it’s not easy.

Yes, COVID does look bad, it might even turn into a pandemic. Make sure you have basic medicines, food and any kind of mask at home. It’s best not to wait and get all things you need today itself.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

I got a few things today, whatever was available. Somebody on campus had cloth masks, so I got those. But the fear won’t go away. My eyes are red with no sleep. My hands are sweating; my heart won't slow down. My roommate is always out meeting people, coming back late, and I flinch every time I hear the door. What should I do?

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

What are the other classmates doing? You should be fine where you are, just take all the precautions necessary. Your roommate can’t give you anything if she stays in her room. Let her do her thing. You can watch movies.

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

All local students have left for their homes. Some international students are considering going to their home country. Everyone just wants to be with family. I don’t know what to do. I really want to come to you especially now that we are in the same country.

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

I think you should stay put where you are. Let’s monitor this for a few more days and then take a call?

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

NO. I CANNOT WAIT. I CANNOT.

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

Are you sure you are okay to travel?

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To: Felix

RE: It's snowing

My gut says yes.

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To: Adina

RE: It's snowing

Here is your ticket. Flight leaves tomorrow at 4 pm. You are staying with me until things settle down.

I was checking the weather it will snow there in the morning. I hope you enjoy that. I will be there to pick you up.

The next morning it snowed a little where Adina was. She watched the snowflakes fall as she packed. Before zipping her bag, she looked at the butterscotch walls one last time — still warm, still the color of something sweet. She closed her door and left.

Her flight landed at the destination. When Adina walked out of the airport, she made eye contact with her brother. Neither of them moved for a moment.