A Senior's Journey Of Finding Love In The Digital Age

Imagine a senior person who, when they were in school, there were no computers or cell phones, and was trying to keep up and learn new technology. People were quietly thinking that this person had an intellectual disability. And yet this same person had run three successful businesses without a computer or cell phone. It's not that this person didn't want to learn something new, and wanted to stay in the past. The world is changing by the minute, and if we don't change with it, we become extinct like a dinosaur.

But there are a few things with the newer generation that defy logic. They think profit is a dirty word and cash is only for dishonest people who they think aren't paying their taxes. They think it is fashionable to rack up large bills on a credit card and use their phone as an EFTPOS card, called "Tap and Go," all of which makes the banks very happy. If these same people ran just a part-time business and had to do their books and put in a tax return, they would have a completely different perspective of the older generation and the reality of money and a business.

Working with computers takes a different thought process or way of thinking. Sometimes in life, we have to look at things from a different angle. It's not technically difficult. You just have to learn the sequence or steps in order to do something on the computer. If someone gave a long verbal list of instructions on how to do something on the computer, older people would struggle. If you gave them a written, numbered list, they'd do it a few times, and it would become routine, and they would remember it.

That's what our next story is about.

Staring at the computer screen with her reading glasses perched precariously on the end of her nose. Margaret slowly typed SILVER SINGLES. Accidentally knocking the caps lock was common and made some of her emails or texts look like she was shouting at someone. Her daughter Sarah had insisted that she try online dating, with a "It's how everyone these days meets people! You just create a profile and start chatting to people."

Margaret replied, "Just create a profile?"

Sarah said, "Yeah, just do this and this. It's easy."

Margaret, trying not to look silly, said, "OK," but felt like she had just been slammed up against a wall.

So, she figured the only way she was going to be able to write a profile was to look at other people's profiles and try to work something from there. It was a bit like applying for a job, and it had been a very long time since she had done that. This was a whole new adventure, and she had no idea what to expect.

The page loaded with a large selection of smiling faces; most were her age, supposedly. While some photos looked professionally done, some looked like old passport photos. You know, the deer that looks like it was hit by a car's lights! Or the selfie that was taken below the chin, looking up.

Margaret's first thoughts of a profile were listing all the things she liked doing, like gardening and looking after her large collection of roses and bonsai, among other things, and then she remembered the different jobs she had over the years, in which part of her job would be a salesperson. The customer was only interested in one thing. What can this product or service do for me? She spent hours going through profiles that were quite clever, like describing themselves as curvy and built for comfort, not speed, or being streamlined.

She decided that the best and easiest thing to do was keep the profile short, sweet, simple, and straight to the point. So, she wrote, let's tackle loneliness together, and a sincere relationship with a mature gentleman. And can make a house feel like a home, like potting around in the garden. While the profile wasn't professional, she was quite happy with it anyway. It was a small achievement.

Meanwhile, a short distance across town. Harold was having his own digital disasters. He'd been made redundant and couldn't find another job because everyone was hiring younger people who, for some reason, take a lot of time off work, and he and everyone else couldn't understand how they paid their bills. So, how come these young people were getting jobs, and he wasn't?

So, Harold was forced into retirement, but at the same time, he was looking at working for himself, even if it was just part-time.

His son Michael had brought him a smartphone to help him keep in contact with people, and he needed a phone if he wanted to be self-employed. At first, Harold used to hold the phone at arm's length as if it were an unexploded bomb, and like a lot of seniors, friendships with family and friends were wearing thin with constant phone calls on how to operate things. At the same time, Harold was bombarded with silly texts about what someone was having for lunch. Was it old-fashioned to say that phone calls were for something important?

Harold managed to send a quick text of hello to a lady called Dorothy, but found out the hard way that when you take too long to answer, the friendship goes cold very quickly. The loneliness deepens.

But then one spring morning, Margaret made a mistake that changed everything. While sending an email to a man called Robert about spraying roses, she accidentally sent it to Harold, who stayed at the email in total confusion. He hadn't sent any emails to Margaret or written about roses, but the email was so warm and genuine, so he decided to answer it anyway.

He spent a good half an hour writing and rewriting a message, and then reading it over a few times. he said, "I think you might have sent this to the wrong person, but I would love to hear about your roses. I used to help my late wife with her garden, and I miss them most terribly.

Margaret stared at Harold's email in shock, but at the same time, Harold's response was so sweet that she wanted to know more about this person, and they both started exchanging messages. For the first time, both of them looked forward to checking their computers. They were both making clumsy mistakes, but the warmth of their emails far outweighed any technological barriers. Harold finally plucked up the courage to invite Margaret to a coffee shop, and at the same time, Margaret was going to ask Harold for a meeting.

Nervously checking her reflection in the shop window, Margaret arrived first. When Harold arrived, his warm personality beamed through the crowd of people. Margaret felt that flutter of attraction that she hadn't felt in years. Harold was just overwhelmed by Margaret's genuine smile. It was as if everything had come into focus.

Over the second cup of coffee, Margaret said, 'I have to confess, I am absolutely terrible with computers.'

Harold laughed in a deep, rich tone that made Margaret's heart skip a beat, and then he said, "I have to confess, it took me three attempts to respond to your message."

Their conversation flowed as naturally as if they'd known each other for years. Harold hesitated for a second and then said, "Would you like to come over for dinner this weekend? I cook better than I type."

Margaret was all in a flutter. "I'd love to."

Margaret arrived the following Saturday at Harold's tidy bungalow with a bottle of wine and a beautifully arranged bouquet of roses from her garden. When he led her through the house to the kitchen, she stopped at the doorway of his study and burst out laughing. A rainbow of sticky notes surrounded Harold's computer screen. Yellow ones with passwords, blue were instructions for sending emails, pink were for website addresses, green ones were for keyboard shortcuts he'd never quite learnt to use. Next to the computer was a neat stack of paper, on just about everything else.

Margaret gushed between giggles, "I thought I was the only one!"

Harold's face reddened a bit with embarrassment. "I know, but I can't remember all the passwords and steps."

Margaret pulled out her phone, covered in small pieces of tape with tiny writing. "I've labelled every button, and my computer at home looks exactly like yours!"

They both laughed again, and then Margaret said, There has to be an easier way."

"There has to be," Harold agreed, "And perhaps together we could work it out."

Over the following weeks, as their romance blossomed, they tackled their technology challenges as a team. They sat side by side at each of their computers, patiently working through their problems together. One evening, as they were struggling with the settings on Harold's smartphone.

Margaret had an idea. "You could guarantee that there are a lot of people our age who are having the same problems we are having. What say we start a little group? We could meet at the library and help each other."

Harold's eyes lit up, "Why didn't we think of that before?"

Within three months, the number of members had exploded, and the library's other patrons were beginning to complain about the noise. But the librarian, Mrs Chen, had a plan. She explained to the group that the Citizens' Advice Bureau down the road helped community groups apply for government grants. Several community halls are available for free to educational groups like yours, and with a grant, you could get some basic equipment like a projector or a few laptops for people to practice on.

The application process was daunting. Forms to fill out, purpose to be explained, budgets justified. But the group rallied together with people from all sorts of backgrounds.

The new space transformed their group and comfortably accommodated fifty older people, and Mrs Chen continued to support them with structured lessons. But something even more wonderful began to happen. Young people started showing up, like college students earning community service hours, recent graduates looking to put on their resumes that they had experience working with the public, and middle-aged adults who wanted to help their parents with new technology. But the main thing was that the whole community was communicating better.

While Margaret and Harold were very proud of what they had started, they felt it was time to let the experts take over and do a more professional job. They laughed and said, "We were just the blind leading the blind." They still popped in regularly, more for friendship, but they wanted to spend more time with each other, their families, and do a bit of travelling.

They both happily lived together into their late nineties.