Dogs Don't Go to Heaven

>>budee<<

Alpha is holding a Cheese stick. I bark joyfully and run towards him.

He is waving it through the air only to tease me — he never lets me take it from his hand. Still, I pretend to go for it, because he won’t throw it until I do.

When the stick is in the air, time stops. There is nothing in the world except for the trajectory of gold against blue, the smell of cheese, the wind against my fur, and grass under my paws.

I hear a soft thump to my left. I halt just in time to see it disappear among the twigs of a large bush. I stick my nose into it, and a swarm of bees erupts from it straight into my face—

I am woken by a fly. I snap at the air as the buzzing approaches, but I miss — I can still hear her.

I bark at her to leave my House and let me go back to sleep, but she won’t listen. She just keeps flying wildly through my room.

She lands on my nose.

Now that's enough, you evil fly.

I shake her off and get onto my paws. My back leg shakes as I raise my butt from the floor and limp into the center of the room.

Catching flies was much easier in my younger days, when I still was stronger by an eye and a leg. Balancing on three paws is not as easy as on four, and the spot over my left eye plays tricks on me, making close things seem far and far things seem close — that’s how I banged my head on the wall more than once.

So I rely on my ears to catch her.

zzzzzzZZZZZZZZZ—snap—-ZZZZZzzz—bark—zzzzZZZZZZZ—snap—ZZZZZzzzzz

The buzzing stops above the couch. My back leg trembles violently as it propels me upward. The cushions bounce unevenly under my weight, but I manage to keep my three-legged balance and stay on top.

The buzzing continues.

ZZZZZ—bark—ZZZZZZZZZ—snap—-ZZZZZzzzzzzzz

She is off into the Food room. I jump off the couch and limp after her. My front legs are shaking as well by now, but that only makes me more determined to catch her. Otherwise, I‘ve just broken the Couch rule with nothing to show for it.

My masters used to let me onto the couch whenever I wanted until the surgery. Now they even get upset as I jump to kiss them. They don’t even allow me to play fetch or chase cats on the Pee-pee tours anymore. And I need to have the wheel thing strapped to my back whenever I go out.

They would probably be upset at me for chasing this fly if they were home now. But what they don't know can’t hurt them.

I stagger into the Food room. She's on the carpet.

Bark.

She’s on the Cold Food Tank.

Bark.

On the Cooking Heaven. Too high for me.

Bark. Bark.

On the Eating Heaven. Also too high for me. But—

I can smell something else up there. Something yummy.

I jump into the air and grip the edge of the Eating Heaven with my front paws. My back leg trembles violently as I put my whole weight on it and squint over the top.

She's there, festering on the leftovers of Gamma's breakfast — a cheese sandwich.

And not any cheese.

Cheddar cheese.

The sight of it makes me blind with rage. I growl at her, but she doesn’t move.

Now I’ve really had enough of you.

I extend my head to capture her, but before I reach the plate, my hind leg gives out and sends me tumbling down.

The time slows down.

My claws reflexively grip the floor of the Food heaven.

The floor starts to move.

I watch in terror as the sandwich slides unstoppably toward the edge.

The fly lifts off of it.

I whimper in frustration.

Slow motion stops as my butt hits the floor with a thud, and I collapse onto my side. I hear a plate shatter, and then all the sound is sucked from the world.

The bees are buzzing all around me. I am spinning in circles so none can land on me, barking at them, and hitting them with my tail.

It’s my cheese, and I'm not afraid of you, stupid bees.

They must feel it too, because the swarm slowly starts to dissipate.

I manage to get rid of them, but by the time the last one flies away, I have lost track of the stick. I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going while I was in the Bee cloud.

I look towards Alpha to check if he has a new one, but his hands are empty.

Schmuck, I’ll have to do this the hard way.

I stick my nose into the grass and search for a trail of cheese. It's hard to pick it up among the abundance of smells in this land.

Bella was here yesterday. She was feeling aroused and left her mark in Max's territory. Then Spock came along, feeling excited too, and left his mark on Bella’s. That clumsy Spock is always looking for trouble — everyone knows you don't mess with Max’s bitches—

I’ve got it. It's subtle, hidden in the moldy leaves, but it's definitely cheese. My tail wiggles wildly as I go after it.

The front door slams. I try to get up, but I can’t move my back leg. I can't even feel my leg or my tail, as if there’s nothing below my hips.

Gamma approaches me. I'm on my right flank, so I see nothing but the carpet because of the smudge in my left eye. But I smell him. He kneels on the carpet beside me and pets me on the back.

>>budee wotthevyudon<<

I understand both words. The first one is my name. The second one used to mean someone was angry at me, but its meaning has changed since the surgery.

Now it means that they are sad with me.

I hate it when my masters are sad. I always wriggle my tail to cheer them up, but I can't do it now. I only whimper sympathetically.

>>cum boy letseet<<

Food. Food. Fooooood.

I struggle with all my might, but I just can’t get up using only my front paws.

I whimper in frustration and slither back down.

The front door slams again. Alpha and Beta are home. They're talking to each other happily until Gamma interrupts them. Soon, all three are in the Food room, staring at me in silence.

>>budee cumheer boy<<

I try to get up for Alpha just like I did for Gamma, but with the same result — the part of my body that turns me over just doesn't work.

I bark at no one in particular.

Alpha and Beta sit at the Food Heaven, while Gamma pets me around the ribs, on the brink of what I still feel of my body.

Everyone is very sad, I smell it. I recognize my name sometimes in their conversation, and the word wok, but I don't think it means the Pee-pee tour.

>>ben cumheer<<

Gamma goes to Beta, and Alpha takes his place. He is rubbing me behind the ear, just the way I like it. I smell more pain in him than I have ever smelled before, and I curse my stupid tail for not being able to cure him of it.

Gamma is silently whining, and Beta is trying to cheer him up.

Stupid tail, you could cheer everyone up if only you would move.

I'm suddenly lifted into the air by Alpha’s strong hands, and my vision is back. I see Gamma scooped up on Beta's lap, his face buried between her breasts. When Alpha tells them something I don't understand, Beta lifts Gamma into the air, and they both come to pet my head. As they come closer, I notice their eyes are raining.

Then Alpha carries me out of the house, and we go into the Teleporter.

I usually stare out the window or sleep during teleportation, but this time I can't sit up to watch out, and I am too excited to fall asleep.

The smell of Alpha’s sweat tells me he's even more anxious than before. I wonder about the source of his anxiety as I listen to the hum of the machine.

When the rumbling finally stops, Alpha picks me up again. I recognize the place as soon as we are out — we are at the Needleman's house, where I lost my leg.

I whimper in alarm. What is he going to take from me this time?

Alpha pets me on the head to calm me down.

As always, the inside of the Needleman's house reeks of fear and anxiety. Alpha says something to the lady behind the counter. She brings a bed on wheels, and he lays me on top of it.

I can hear some bitch growling at the cats in the corridor, and them meowing back, but I don’t care about them. I only care about Alpha, who’s now rubbing my ears again, with his head resting on my belly. His gentle humming brings me to sleep—

I'm super close. Its smell is making my mouth water. I circle the bush three times before I finally find it, and snatch it from its jaws.

The Cheese stick has a texture of wood and a taste of cheese. A taste of Cheddar. I pin it between my paws and nibble at its smoky crust bit by bit, enjoying every bite of it.

Yummy, yummy, yummy!

I smell Alpha approaching me from afar. He wants to take it from me to make another throw, but I bet I can eat it whole before he reaches me—

The wheels on my bed are creaking as Alpha pushes it into the Needleman's chamber. They must have turned me onto the other side while I was asleep because now I can see everything. They shake hands, and then the Needleman puts me on his table.

Last time, Alpha left me alone with the Needleman, but now he stays here with us, incessantly rubbing my ears. I can see his eyes are raining, just like Beta’s and Gamma’s before.

I whine slightly as the Needleman sticks something into my paw.

Then a wave of relief washes over me, because the worst part is over — I am never stung more than once per visit.

I bet Alpha is proud of how bravely I took it — I barely whimpered. He’s sure to give me a ton of biscuits when I get back home.

Maybe even some cheese—

My mouth starts to water, and my vision gets blurry.

The last thing that I see before everything goes dark is a fly landing on my nose.