That Last Espresso

00:10: 00... 10 minutes… that’s all the time I have left… will be the last time I breathe this air…the last time I see her… the 10 minutes I traded for my life.

I turned on the timer just when I entered the coffee shop. It smelled just as the last time, well who am I kidding, Starbucks always smells the same...

I knew I had made the right choice...a look at the place, examined every detail and every corner… as if planning a heist… as if building a puzzle I needed to solve before my time was up… this was the pivotal moment, I knew it … and it brought back so many memories.

My memory, as most I guess, is packed with moments… I would love to be able to store some of those moments with labels as a computer does, cataloging them as: “Stranger’s advice”… here it was when I encountered that strange guy… and I just need to thank him before I, along with my memories, am gone. In a way… that’s why I’m here.

I went to the counter where a small guy, dressed as if he was going to a 90s golf club party, freshly ironed polo shirt, shorts, watch… you know the type… those who live their life on a constant rush, entered the coffee shop behind me.

He looked at his phone, and then burst with anxiety as if there was a huge line and he had been forced to wait for hours there.

The barista was also overwhelmed, setting everything ready to call the next customer.

It was Holy Week and in Panama, at that time, most places closed for such religious holidays.

The ones that open were clearly understaffed... as this particular Starbucks was. 

Which also answers the question… why would anyone have Starbucks when living in a country that produces such good coffee… some of the best in the world.

Bzz… Bzzz… my watch vibrated and intuitively I looked…00:09:00.. did I just lose one minute?

The barista, a young-looking girl who was trying her best to be gracious said: “next in line” 

I walked to the counter and with a smile said: “Hi Ana, rough day I guess…” without waiting for a response I added “…no worries my order is easy enough… a double espresso for Joe”.She took the little espresso cup, wrote the name on it, clicked some buttons here and there on the computer she had on the counter, and before she asked, I pulled my wallet and was grabbing some cash to pay her.

She looked at me doubtfully, and asked: “sir, is this your first time here?” while that last word exhaled from her mouth her face turned red and then pale as snow… she realized that she had sounded rude… and then rushed to try and correct herself … “sorry, I meant ….have you been here before… as in this location?”

I said yes, especially at this time…I gave her 10 bucks and said keep the change.

Her face mutated into a huge question mark, and she was about to say something back when the anxious guy stepped to the counter almost pushing me over as if he decided it was already his turn, and I had to move on…

“4 lactose-free milk lattes, grande…. Quickly I don’t have all day… as others might… “

He turned and looked right at me, assuming that I was taking my time to be polite because time was something I had to spare.

Bzz Bzz 00:08:00 … hah, I chuckled, if he only knew.

Ana the barista was just passing down the little paper cup with the name I gave her to the other barista that appeared out of nowhere … a chubby young fellow who was carrying some gallons of milk from the storage unit and looked as much in a rush as the preppy guy on the counter.

“We don't have time for this”, I heard the guy behind me say, trying to get the barista’s attention as if that would make his order go faster.

I again chuckled.

The wannabe prepster, who was just missing a sweater tied to his neck (and I’ve seen a bunch like that in the hot and humid weather of Panama), took an arrogant stand and started to make a scene... what did you say to me?

Hey you pointing at us and then at the barista prepping the drinks… “did you hear

what he just said...“

I replied, sorry I must be getting old, and interrupted dear Ana here who was just asking the good sir’s name to get his order on the move… both baristas stared at me, but Ana followed my lead and wrote whatever crappy name the guy just spat.

Bzz Bzzz 00:07:00 … was I too early? I hope not!

The door opened and a young couple entered the coffee shop, the guy a bit older than the girl… although from experience I knew he was about 10 years older… both nervous as if this was an unplanned date…. Their good energy was enough to drop the tension completely…

“Ah … Just in time” I muttered.

I sat down at one of those uncomfortable tall booths to wait for my espresso. From there I could see the tall guy with lenses asking that girl who was obviously out of his league, what she wanted to get. She was a beautiful curly-haired girl, not as tall but they made a nice couple and they didn’t even know.

Bzzz… Bzzzz… 00:06:00

I could not hear what they agreed on but, I did hear Ana the barista repeating their order … Double Espresso and an Almond Milk Iced Latte … then the curly-haired girl interrupted and they added something else I could not hear… but she was pointing at a lemon cake.

Ok, 12.99 said the barista, how do you want to pay… the guy pulled out a thick wallet, packed with more receipts and cards than money…. He picked one of the multiple credit cards as if trying to figure out if there was a better option…. The machine made that uncomfortable sound that we all know means that something went wrong… Ana said it was denied, should I try it again…. He said no, let’s try this other one … ehh same buzz denied… he looked at his date, who was looking at the different pastries at the counter and was oblivious to the situation…

“You lucky bastard” I thought…

The barista asked if she should try the card again, and the tall guy who was noticeably nervous pulled out his phone and said give me a minute…. He unlocked the phone and started to swipe and click….

Coming from someone who has been in such a situation, more than once… I know how it goes…

You have a bunch of credit cards all topped off… you start looking at which one has the least debt… and try to make a quick deposit so you can pay for something…. He was doing some hard math there… 

More clients were entering the shop, the anxious guy was walking in circles trying to get his order to magically appear with his stomping …

Bzz 00:05:00 ….

The tall young guy looked as if he had just finished up a very hard calculous exam.

The beautiful curly-haired girl, suspicious, got closer to the counter, and I could see she was about to pull out her wallet to pay… when the other barista called 4 lattes to go … the anxious guy almost tackled the couple picked the order up and burst out of the store… I would swear those cups were drilled into the recycled material tray they put them on because I would have dropped them if I were acting as crazy as he was.

The situation helped the guy out, as if the universe was all in agreement that this was not the day he was going to lose his chance.

He put his phone back in his pocket, drew a third card, as if he was playing some sort of poker game, this time a bit more sure he had a winning hand, at least for this round. 

I could see and feel his relief.. because as I said, I’ve been exactly where he was…. Paying with money you don’t have, just to survive socially, or even to survive … in this case to see if you have a shot with a girl.

We are more alike than you think, I thought to myself.

Ice Latte for Maria…. He rushed and picked it up while on the other side of the counter Ana was plating the cake and handing it to the curly-haired girl.

Bzz 00:04:00

The couple found an empty booth on the second floor, where they thought they might have more privacy. It was as if I could read his mind… or as if I was re-living some sort of memory.

Double espresso for Joe… I stood up and went to pick up my brew and I could see how the tall guy was walking down to the counter. 

He moved faster than me and we got there at about the same time, ah I thought that was mine he said… did you order a double espresso? He said yes…. 

The barista, confused, said no, I don’t have any other cup for espresso here… wait let me check …. The barista went back to Ana, who was taking an order and they started to browse around the receipts …

I told the guy take mine, go back to your date we’ll sort this out.

He was going to say “it is not a date” and I could see it in his eyes how he kind of wondered if it actually was one.

I called Ana and told her, he’ll take mine… get another one going if you don’t find the receipt I’ll pay for it ….

Bzz 00:03:00

Coffee, although it is one of the things I had enjoyed more in my time, was not the priority in this situation… I could die without ever tasting espresso again, but not without making sure this next part happened.

When the guy was picking up some napkins to go back to his date I took him by the arm and said…. it may not be important for you now but later you might understand… hell there are lots of things that have happened in my life that I haven’t been able to explain yet.

The universe is full of mystery, but to be at the exact place and time you need to be takes a bit more than pure luck.

I have been exactly where you are, just there looking at that girl with fear of wasting this opportunity, thinking what if this is the one? What if I am not ready? What if I am such a mess I scare her away?… well, in my experience there is only one way to know…. When I was about 40 years younger, I took a girl I would eventually marry to a place much like this…. And an old guy who was wandering around said something to me that stuck…. Something I remember as if he was here today.

Bzz 00:02:00

Don’t be stupid… go up there and make sure you make her the happiest woman on earth…. The rest will come on its own… your debt, financial situation, all of that crap can be fixed… but to find a nice woman who is willing to build a life with you, that (I paused) is priceless.

Don’t waste any more time and get back to her.

I gave him a pat on the back and could hear Ana saying… sir I found the receipt let me make you that espresso.

At a coffee shop like this, it takes about 50 seconds to brew a double shot of espresso through and through.

To grind the coffee could take from 15 to 18 seconds… the machine is already warm, so that would take about 25 seconds to pour the espresso…. By the time she gave it to me my timer was about to beep on the one minute mark.

I was looking at the young couple laughing, looking at each other with that fresh love that starts to spark out of no where. 

I could finally see that look she said I had every time I saw her… the boiled egg eyes … I never understood it until this moment… I did look like a dumb ass just staring at her.

I could not take my eyes off her … as I could not take my eyes off her now.

Ana came back with my espresso and I smiled … Bzz 00:01:00 … just 60 seconds and my life would end.

The cup came also with the receipt and I could only look at the time stamp that read: 03/25/2016 10:17 AM. I looked at the date and my mind wandered away…. Ana asked … sir … sorry if I ask again… but are you related to that guy … you look very much alike… and have the same name…. 

Well, I said…. We might have the same ancestry… not taking my eyes off the couple as if it was the last thing I wanted to see.

Sir… she asked when I had only 29 seconds to go…. I know I asked before, but have you been here before? I’m really good with faces and I cannot remember yours…

I took a sip of that espresso… knowing it would be the last thing I would taste… I cared less if it was of good quality, if it had enough crema… I could care less about any of that … I just enjoyed … while taking a last look at her…. And thought ….she has always been so…

Ana the barista looked perplexed… and asked “what?” … sorry, I said…coming back from my daydreaming … my mind sometimes wonders away… 

So, why can’t I remember you?…. I took a last look at the couple upstairs thinking… ah mission accomplished… looked down and saw that stranger who gave me that great advice, looking back at me reflected in my watch… and answered Ana… no worries… you always ask that same question.

Bzzz… 00:00:00