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Weekly Contest #116
I had a friend who was a competitive eater as the result of being a Jehovah’s Witness. Because of his religion, Ben wasn't allowed to celebrate holidays like Easter or Christmas, or even his own birthday. Ben had to stand in the hallway as the rest of us celebrated our pagan rituals, like the fertility rite of hunting for colored eggs, tree worship, and blowing out candles endowed with wish-granting magic. So, Ben got his kicks by becoming a competitive eater. That Friday Ben and I were walking to the cafeteria. We were both very excited be...
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