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Weekly Contest #89
Yesterday I left my apartment at 7:15 am, as usual. I was looking forward to grabbing a cup-a-joe from Raphael’s before getting to work by 8. As I turned the key to lock my door, I heard Jethro behind me. He was leaving his apartment for the day, too. “Good morning, Jeth,” I said. Jethro said nothing and avoided making eye contact with me. His dirty blond hair was as wild as ever, but his machismo had been replaced by a hunched over posture. He looked at the ground and crammed his hands into his pockets. “C’mon, Jeth. This ain...
Weekly Contest #88
Once upon a time, a monkey named Rory lived in a jungle. Rory’s jungle was particularly dark and especially terrible—full of flesh eating fish, savage spiders, and cunning crocodiles.Rory resided with a troop of gargantuan silver back gorillas. The troop adopted Rory after a bask of crocodiles ate his tribe. (By the way, a “bask” is a group of land crocodiles, while a “float” is a group of water crocodiles.) Carl, the alpha gorilla, protected Rory from the evils of the wicked jungle, but not without remuneration. In exchage for Carl’s protec...
Weekly Contest #87
I’ve been waiting a year for this day. I sit at the bar, chew on peanuts, and swill the last of a Pabst Blue Ribbon. It’s 2:59 pm. The ceremony is about to begin. The Steelers just scored a touchdown. The sports bar jumps with cheer. Five bucks says, right about now, she’s thinking about peaking her head out of the bride’s room just to see what all the commotion is about. When she does emerge from that soft shelter, she’ll shield her eyes from the altar. She can’t see me before the ceremony—that would be bad luck. “I’ll take anot...
Weekly Contest #86
The elevator pealed and Malcolm stepped into the lobby of Inglethorpe & Cavendish. He was the first to arrive that Monday morning. Natasha Marakova, the receptionist, usually greeted Malcolm every morning, but today, instead of Natasha’s welcoming presence, a bouquet of roses brightened the room from atop Natasha’s desk. Malcolm looked closer at the bouquet. “To Natasha, Thank you for a lovely evening. From Gregory,” was printed on a white card tied to one of the ten rose stems. Malcolm raised an eyebrow, shrugged, and wal...
Weekly Contest #85
Junior’s eyes sparkled as he unclasped his mother’s diamond bracelet from her wrist. She didn’t notice.“John, I just don’t understand why we can’t take from principal,” she said. “Evelyn, I’ve told you, as trustee, I am forbidden to withdraw in that manner,” Father said.They had been at it for an hour. Mother wanted money for a fur coat. She told Junior that if they asked Father about it while he was at work, eventually, if they were persistent enough, Father would shoo her away with whatever she needed.“But it’s our money, John. I don’...
Weekly Contest #84
Whenever I wear a Double Windsor knot, the tie tails run embarrassingly short. I hide the tiny tails inside the safety of my vest so no one else can see them. The gargantuan knot, however, that’s a big dumb flashing advertisement: THE GENTLEMAN ENTERING THE ROOM IS VERY IMPORTANT. God forbid I bend over and pick up a pencil or paperclip off the floor—the tails could pop out from under my vest and everyone would think that I’m a clown rather than a lawyer. What day is it anyway? Is it Thursday? I wear my brown tie on Thursdays...
Weekly Contest #83
The ocean waves wafted the wet scent of salt water through the warm island air. I exited the yellow cab. I paid the driver, tipped him well, and walked from under the porte cochère toward the hotel lobby. My rolling suitcase bumped and jostled about as it attempted to navigate the uneven, polished stone sidewalk. Unusually large gaps spanned walkway’s component slabs. The bright sunshine diminished as a mass of dark clouds rolled across the sky. A single raindrop stained my left shoe. “Comment puis-je vous aider, monsieur?” the fro...
Weekly Contest #82
Last Monday morning, I installed a new lamp in my office, right above my four-tier filing cabinet. When I turned the lamp on, it burst light throughout the room, bouncing off metal, refracting through glass, and revealing dust I didn’t anticipate ever seeing with such clarity. I shielded my eyes. The lamp was too bright. Mr. Inglethorpe knocked lightly on my open office door. “Malcolm, this is Alex. She will be filling in for Natasha this week. I’m afraid Natasha has fallen ill,” he said. “I’m sorry to hear that,” I said. “Ale...
Weekly Contest #81
I pulled my pocket watch from my waistcoat. It clicked as it unclasped. Its old-timey watch hands moved into the 11:50 am position. It was time for lunch. I rolled back from my desk, put on my suit jacket, and walked out of my office there on the third floor of Inglethorpe & Cavendish. With no appointments until 2 pm, I had time for lunch without too much of a rush. Today, though, I may have wanted a rush. Today I was going on a blind date. “Hope you like her,” Natasha said, giggling, as I passed the reception area and walked to ...
Weekly Contest #80
“Malcolm, your 9 o’clock is ready,” Natasha said. “Refi?” I said. “Yes, single borrower, well-dressed, unmarried.” Natasha sighed, paused, and returned to the front reception area of Inglethorpe & Cavendish. My office was tucked away on the third floor of a three story building that was nestled between two 12 story high rises on Elm Street. Mr. Inglethorpe arrived precisely at 10 am everyday. Mr. Cavendish, on the other hand, usually stumbled onto the golf course by 10 am but always arrived by 1 pm, stinking of gin. T...
Weekly Contest #79
I glanced at my watch again. D promised he would be on time, but I knew better than to trust him. Raphael’s, the coffee shop where we agreed to meet, was just across the street from where I work. I’m sure Mr. Inglethorpe was wondering where I had gotten off to. “Inglethorpe & Cavendish lawyers are never idle,” he’d always say to me when I was taking five in the break room or staring at the ceiling for a minute to clear my head. Mr. Inglethorpe had an odd air of British propriety for someone who grew up in Mississippi. “Looking sha...
Weekly Contest #34
Johannes Kambanda: Ozi, are you OK?Ozaki Kaori: A little embarrassed, but I’m OK.JK: What happened?Ozi: Trixie slipped me a beef and cheese burrito. I got sick.JK: Threw up?Ozi: All over the place.JK: Was it rotten?Ozi: Hell if I know. I’m vegan. Meat makes me sick.JK: What was Trixie thinking?Ozi: She wasn’t. She didn’t know. She grabbed from the non-vegan stack of burritos.JK: Are you sure?Ozi: Are you defending her?JK: No. But maybe it was the caterer’s fault.Ozi: J, I barfed on my boss. JK: Is she a parent?Ozi: Trixie?JK: No, y...
Weekly Contest #33
For the past half hour, pick-axes pinged in tandem on granite far below the surface of the Earth. Occasionally, the axes pealed in tandem. But mostly, they hit in syncopation, as if their wielders were racing, or perhaps, chasing each other. A rod of light broke through the dark side of the rock.“I win!” Delta said.“No, I hit the granite last before breaking through. I win,” Gamma said.“But I’m the one who actually broke through, so I win,” Delta said.“But I was—”“Knock it off,” Beta said, holding a flood lamp. “Let’s see what’s inside....
Shortlisted for Contest #32 ⭐️
Every Saturday, from 10:00 am to 11:00 am, Fred Flannigan sat on the third bench to the right at entrance of Oscar Park. Sometimes, his best friend, Manny Mandinkos, joined him for the hour. When Manny actually showed up—you never could tell with Manny Mandinkos—Manny brought a thermos of camomile tea. Manny was unpredictable like that. Manny was also dead. A year ago, Manny decided, on a whim, to climb Mt. Everest. He did none of the rigorous training one normally does before that infamous climb. He made it to the top, but then died fr...
Weekly Contest #31
Celia opened the dryer and felt a warmth brush past her face. Justin’s size 4T Oshkosh B’Gosh overalls had been rattling around in there for the past hour. The brass fasteners were probably hot, so Celia avoided folding the overalls.Celia grabbed a t-shirt from the hot jumble of clothing. She held up the shirt and remembered its design. The Force Awakens was Justin’s favorite movie. Celia took him to see it on opening weekend. Celia didn’t know anything about Star Wars but thought that Justin, being a four year old boy, would like it. What k...
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