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Weekly Contest #185
Everyone knew Old Man Jenkins was a hoarder. His house had been deemed a fire hazard decades ago, piles of all sorts of everything making the inside of it like a maze, one in almost complete darkness as natural light couldn’t get in through the windows, covered as they were with boxes and piles of rubbish, and no one wanted to turn the lights on for the fear of their bare bulbs sparking a fire on one of the many piles of books, magazines, or papers. It had got so bad his wife had left him before the new millennium had started, sick of state ...
Weekly Contest #163
“You’ll never be content.” I didn’t know whether the words were supposed to be a prophecy, a curse, or just a bitter outburst. It was difficult to tell when you were dealing with a terribly upset witch. I should have known better by now. Dating witches never turned out well. Breaking up with them always turned out badly. And it was always me that did the breaking up. I suppose there was some truth in the statement. I wasn’t content. That’s why I broke up with Selda. And Ezzie before here, and Lileth before that. I tried not to remember an...
Weekly Contest #162
Matt had been a few minutes early. He hated being late. He had been shown straight to the booked table. And now he was waiting for Louise to arrive. Matt would be surprised if she was on time; she was usually ‘fashionably’ late. It was a trait that had used to wind him up, but as time went by, he let it go more. And he had picked up the habit of giving Louise a time fifteen minutes before the actual time they were due to be anywhere. As he waited for Louise to arrive, Matt picked up the menu. More for something to do to fill the time in, ...
Weekly Contest #155
When I was a child, I always thought it was a strange thing to say. But that was because at that age I was getting the saying wrong. I was sure they were saying ‘swings on roundabouts.’ Which sounded dangerous to me. Having to get across the road to the centre of the roundabout to be able to play on the swings. Surely there were better places for them. I used to look out every time we went past or around one. I never saw a single one with a swing in the middle. Of course, I know why now, but I didn’t then. I wasted no end of time looking ...
Weekly Contest #134
Contains language that some may find offensive. I really should have studied properly when I was at school. I could be doing a proper job now if I had. I could be a bartender, a spaceship washer, or a refuelling jockey. But no, I was too much of a smart arse to do any studying at school on Gemini III. I thought I didn’t need to do any studying. I thought I would be moving back to Earth where I could be a professional slacker; living off my father’s money once he had finished his term as the human ambassador to the Castor half of the Gemini...
Weekly Contest #133
I don’t know why it always fell to me to clear the loft out. I’m the wrong size and shape for it to start with. Well over six feet tall and quite a way north of twenty stone. Clambering up the ladder and squeezing through the loft hatch is always awkward. And once up there I need a crash helmet to protect my thick head from the low eaves. Apart from a three feet wide strip down the middle, there is nowhere I can stand up straight up there. And of course, everything is stored off of that strip, in the low, dark, angled corners. Additional...
Weekly Contest #130
Inside the lid a plain white piece of card was stuck to the green felt lining and it had four handwritten words on it.“Property of Teper Naillian”It had started with a house move.The house move had been a success. Well, as much of a success as a house move ever is. The solicitors did their part quickly and without fuss. The funds were transferred, and the contract exchanged, and we had the keys when we were supposed to. The packing up had gone better than expected. The volume of collected detritus had been less than for previous moves. We ha...
Weekly Contest #128
“Make us a cup of tea love.” It’s always the same, my lazy tosser of a husband shouting through to me in the kitchen to make him a cup of tea. As if I’m not busy enough doing everything else in this house whilst he sits in front of the television watching sports or some other inane rubbish that anyone with half a brain wouldn’t touch with a barge pole. I switch the kettle on. At least when it boils it will mean I won’t be the only object in the kitchen with steam coming out of every orifice. I open the tea caddy and gingerly pick up one ...
Weekly Contest #126
There were six of us sat around that table in The Crown on New Year’s Eve. The same six of us who met in the pub nearly every week; Dave, Chris, Tony, Karl, Simon, and me. Doing what we always did; drinking lots of beers and taking the mickey out of each other. We had all made New Year’s resolutions previous years, big fanfare announcements to the rest of the boys. Promises to give up bad habits, or to take up something new, change something in our personality, trying to better ourselves. None of them ever stuck, so we had a new idea th...
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