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Submitted to Contest #303
Completing my beautician’s course wasn’t the hard part, it was finding a job afterward. I scoured the job posts, handed out my CV to salons, hoofing it around shopping malls to see who might be hiring. It wasn’t until I gave up entirely that fate stood heavily on my doorstep and knocked.A newspaper ad looking for a mortuary cosmetologist caught my eye. I pressed my pen tip against the paper and with a moment of hesitation, I circled it. Within a week, I started my new job at the Light and Love Funeral home down the road from my house. They t...
Submitted to Contest #299
Maybe I should ditch the rice paddy hat. I donno. In the beginning, I was the only Asian dude performing at the Cellar, and now there are three. And on top of that, people aren’t loving cultural stereotypes these days. That makes me want to wear it more, actually. Fuck it, maybe I’ll get someone to hit a gong at the end of my bit! Aren’t I the one who is supposed to be offended by this shit? Didn’t Betty Boop wear one? Bugs Bunny? I should be fuming! Stomping my feet with rage! But I’m not, because that shit is funny. Maybe it’s a gauge for...
Submitted to Contest #294
A woman wearing a Hawaiian shirt sips Mountain Dew through a straw, shouting words off a card “And 1st place for chicken goes to….Here Piggy Piggy BBQ!” Hoots and Hollers rise up from the crowd as a burly trio of men saunter up to the stage to collect their cheap trophy. “It’s hot as Hades out here!” a large red-faced woman says next to me. I nod, wiping the sweat off my neck with a hankerchief. I scramble for drama. Will the pork burn? Will Randy drink too much and strip his clothes off again? Will the heat kill someone, causing them t...
Submitted to Contest #292
St John smells like boiled eggs. Mom said it’s the pulp and paper factories. Grey smokestacks burp clouds of brownish white smoke out the top, their trails dwindling off like a forgotten thought. Everything here is brown, grey, or a blackish-green, almost like a needle popped the sun, and its colours drained into the earth below. I trace my finger through the fog on my window and wonder how much longer. I wave my naked Barbie at a truck driver. “Toot toot!” he gives a little tap on his horn. I pop a chip into my mouth and lo...
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