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Elizabeth Rich

Author on Reedsy Prompts since Nov, 2024

Stories (60)
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77 Followers
22 Following

60 Stories

1532 karma pts

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Sharing Sharon's Eulogy by Zowie-Wowie

Submitted to Contest #300

My mom was a bad speller. Notoriously bad. She named me Zowie. It's supposed to rhyme with Bowie, as in David Bowie, but most people got it wrong. I feared the first day of school growing up. Invariably, a teacher would call my name rhyming it with Howie, as in Howie Mandel. I never bothered to correct the teacher. I always wanted to see how long she would go on pronouncing my name wrong. In third grade, my teacher went all the way to the middle of the term before the art teacher corrected her. Deciding I didn't want to be Zowie/Howie, I wen...

16 likes 8 comments 8
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Requiem for Birthday Dreams

Submitted to Contest #299

Today is my birthday. I am 44 years old. I am 64 inches tall, and I weigh 186 pounds. I am average height for a woman, and I am very overweight. And I don’t care. I decided I would take a page out of Zelda Fitzgerald’s book and turn my life around starting today. The choice is between these two new things: becoming a ballerina or a ninja. I have outfits for both and have trained for neither.Today I took the day off work from my retail job where I help small children stuff teddy bears with fluff and throw in a red plastic heart. Every now and...

15 likes 9 comments 9
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So There Was This Clown in a Coffee Shop

Submitted to Contest #298

Note: References to sex I sat in the stuffy car, watching and waiting, drinking room temperature La Croix. My fingers drummed randomly on the steering wheel and shortly came away with remnants of the bean burrito I had been eating moments before. It was gross, but I licked my fingers anyway. Refried beans were only good while they were warm. As soon as they cooled, they took on the consistency of ear wax, which triggered my gag reflex—which was also why I didn’t eat hummus. Hummus actually did look like ear wax. Another car pulled up next to...

13 likes 10 comments 10
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An Excellent Day for Chinese Takeout

Submitted to Contest #298

She loved the crackling noise of the cellophane. She found the seam and carefully, she tore open the small bag holding her fortune cookie. The cookie was fresh, and it looked like it had spent almost a few seconds too long in the fortune cookie machine before being removed and shaped around the tiny piece of paper holding her fortune. She didn't put much credence in the fortunes, but they were fun to consider. Most of the time, the fortunes didn't foretell anything but offered suggestions. She liked to add 'in bed' or 'between the sheets' at...

9 likes 2 comments 2
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Pre-Dawn Flights of Fancy

Submitted to Contest #297

As I grew older, my sleep became more fragmented. My cousin once told me this was totally and entirely normal."When we were cave people, there was first sleep, which lasted 3-5 hours. After first sleep, we would take a turn watching the cave. Then later, there was second sleep--when someone else watched over the cave and its resting inhabitants." It was a plausible theory, and I believed my cousin--he was a history teacher. Of course, it could have also been one of those fallacious arguments along the lines of: It's on the internet; therefor...

14 likes 11 comments 11
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Toddlers Trading

Submitted to Contest #296

My yia yia told me I had to stop sucking my thumb. "It'll cause you to have bucked teeth. Trust me, kukla, dental work is not cheap. Save your mommy and daddy the expense."But you know what? There were other kids my age who were still sucking their thumbs. I didn't see how they looked like they had bucked teeth like a horse. The path of least resistance was to quit sucking my thumb, but I was really stumped about how to replace the thumb-sucking. Since I was already sticking fingers in my mouth, it would be a seamless transition to switch t...

7 likes 2 comments 2
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It Was Only an Appetizer

Submitted to Contest #296

We wandered with purpose. However, the purpose wasn't always noble, and it wasn't always physical wandering. My feet wandered. My mind wandered. But, they wandered with purpose. This evening, we wandered in the car. We went with friends to meet up with other friends for dinner. Three of the six of us for dinner were old friends with a zillion mutual connections. The remaining three of us would smile and give up on trying to be heard over the television and patron buzz of the restaurant.And then Old Jiminy was in my ear, "You won't be heard, ...

9 likes 2 comments 2
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Don Quick Oats

Submitted to Contest #295

"Don, Don, hey, buddy. You in there?" I heard the voice, which seemed to be coming from under a thousand blankets. Maybe I was under the blankets. Opening my eyes, I found myself in a cocoon, trapped. "Sangio, I think I need help. I'm here, but I'm stuck in some kind of chamber. It's dark. I can't see anything, and my movement is limited," I called to my very best friend in the world, Sangio Pasta. "I've got you, buddy. Just give me a second. It looks like you might be tangled." "Tangled! I'm snared in the jaws of some dark presence. Sangio,...

10 likes 4 comments 4
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All My Stars

Submitted to Contest #294

Each night, I named them, counted them, called to them, reached for them. Each night I shuffled, because that's what I do now. I shuffle. I don't swan about or glide or stride. I shuffle back to my room. I share it with Sharon. I call her Sharon anyway, because we're sharing. I really don't care to know her name. It doesn't matter because she's a temporary presence in my life. She's going to join the stars, oh, probably pretty soon, I imagine. We all do eventually. I'll shuffle from my room when she becomes a part of the stars, and I'll find...

15 likes 15 comments 15
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Sometimes Math and Physics Go Awry

Submitted to Contest #293

My sister and I drove from our small town to the big city. We had plans, big plans, for a night of jazz music, seeing our friends from the big city, and eating well and drinking not as well. Diana was 20, and I was 22. By default, she was going to be driving us home--she did not have a fake ID.We did happen to have a bunch of cash we had hoarded over the summer months to blow in spectacular fashion. There was a feeling between the two of us that everything having to do with this late afternoon, evening, and night would be gilt-edged and glin...

9 likes 2 comments 2
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Is It Really Not Easy Being Green?

Submitted to Contest #292

What THE hell! That stupid frog. "It's not easy being green." Really? Are you fucking kidding me? Everything around us is green. It's the freaking color of life, and he thinks it's not easy? Omigod. The audacity of that moron.To say I'm incensed would be an understatement. Try being a giant organism that really has no genus or species, is of indeterminate color, and clears a room or a bus on the regular. I would give my left nut to be a sweet, little, green frog. Everyone knows a frog or a toad when they see one. Granted, I cannot for the li...

19 likes 14 comments 14
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What We Do to Stay in a Life

Submitted to Contest #291

Janny. Everybody called her pretty. And she was. She was every mama's vision of what her boy should bring home when he turned 18, and made the pronouncement, "Mama, Daddy. This is Janny. She is my intended."Janny turned every head everywhere she went. It wasn't because she was a sultry beauty. Goodness knew, those types of girls were a dime a dozen. Janny turned heads because she radiated. She effervesced. She fluoresced. She was a light, glowing in a way that never overpowered anyone else's light. Janny's spirit and her person were insepara...

9 likes 2 comments 2
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Dandy, III

Submitted to Contest #291

"Dandy, you are going to worry a hole into that sweater if you don't leave it alone," Grandma said. "Dandy, no one is going to want to eat the food you prepare when they see your nails bitten to the quick," Grandma said. "Dandy, do not make that face. What are you going to do if your face freezes that way?" Grandma said. "Dandy, you are going to go blind if you do not eat those carrots. They are good for your eyesight," Grandma said. "Dandy, where are your house shoes? You will catch your death if you do not keep your feet warm," Grandma sai...

15 likes 6 comments 6
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Bitzy, Bunny, Weasels, and Wheelies

Submitted to Contest #290

Emotions are funny, wild beasts that somehow find these holes, mostly in our heads, and they leak out everywhere. Why, one day, I swear, I had emotions that were coming out of my ears. It was all I could do to keep my eyes, nose, and mouth closed. I was wearing long pants, and I didn't think anything would leak out through the lower half of my body. It was risky, though. One time my belly button managed to express righteous anger. That hadn't felt good at all. For the most part, I focused on the leaky parts of me above my waist. Those were t...

12 likes 4 comments 4
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Where Are You, Steve Breck?

Submitted to Contest #289

"The room is unfamiliar. I don't know how I got here. I smell Steve Breck."Two truths and a lie. I knew the lie. We all knew the lie. Steve Breck had been dead for three years. There was no way anyone could smell Steve Breck. Steve was this soul who would invite everyone to dinner. He'd blindfold us, seat us next to someone, and then on the other side of us would be one of his household staff who would cut our food and feed it to us.We would never be seated near anyone we already knew. We were tasked with eating a delicious meal that we coul...

8 likes 2 comments 2
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